Why my balls hurt

alright lets just cut to the chase for 2 weeks i had some weird syndrome that happens when i go outside my balls are either crushed, shot, punched, or kicked, let me explain the rest of the story so one night i was trying to sleep when something that looks like the crappy stereotypical ghost dropped a anvil on my balls and i tried to go to the doctor and while i was trying to go to the doctor then i saw that same ghost with milltary gear holding a sniper rifle he shot my balls again and it hurt so bad and i was brought in the hospital and i went back home and the ghost kicked my balls while i was in the bathroom i finally decided to go to the doctor again after the ghost did the naruto run and punched my balls again after i visited the doctor i learned i had ball destorying ghost syndrome and the only way i would be cured was to show it pictures of a fat whale so i went back to my house and it tried to throw a grenade at my balls but i showed it whale pictures and it screeched and vanished now i can finally be at peace and my balls are no longer in constant fear of being destoryed