Why the Ice cream Machines at McDonald's are broken
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One day, a man was walking his dog, and then his dog started sniffing at something.
"What are you sniffing at, Barely?", he asked his dog, who's name was Barely. He then walked over to whetever the heck barely was sniffing at and picked it up. It was a small, clear, blue substance. He stretched it. It was not solid, but was rather a polymer, like clay. For some reason, he had the idea to eat it. It actually tasted like a rich, chocolate hazelnut flavor, and slightly like vanilla. This would taste good in Ice cream, the man thought.
This man was also worked at a McDonald's in Whyhoming. He showed the substance to his coworkers and suggested to use it as a secret ingredient in their ice cream. They all approved of it, and then used it as the secret ingredient in their ice cream ever since.
That was, until the first person to try the new recipe ate it. He heard a voice.
It said, "How dare you eat me! Do you know how it feels to be consumed alive".
This was no hallucination. Every else in the room heard it. Shock filled their faces. Then, the ice cream spread through the man's body, killing him. Then, it spread to the other people in the room. The most everyone else in the town! The ice cream even killed 75% of Wyoming's population and that is why Wyoming is the least populated state in the U.S.
So why is this? It turned out that the blue substance that was used actually can give food sentience. The ice cream became sentient and then went out for revenge on humanity for eating its kind.
Ever since then, each ice cream at McDonald's was destroyed in order to prevent anything like this from ever happening again.
It also turns out that the dog, Barely, that was sniffing at the substance had planned it all before.
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