Wii Sports Lore (Copypasta)

Today, I will tell you about the lore of the Wii Sports Universe and its vast histories. Now I hear most of you saying "Wii Sports doesn't have any lore!" And to that I say you are a fool. Wii Sports does have lore, it's just in the Wii Instruction Manual that you didn't even bother to read.

Obviously, to understand the lore of the Wii Sports Universe, we must learn how the Wii Sports Universe came about.

In the beginning, when all was pure, there was one being who ruled over existence. This being was known only as "Our 🅱oi". Existence itself revered over Our 🅱oi as a God. Our 🅱oi was so great that he could beat a skilled Fox without using tech.

But one day, the purity of the world was thrown into a wood chipper when Our 🅱oi did an Ethan Klein Cough™. This was the biggest Ethan Klein Cough™ ever, and out of it came the Wii Sports world that we know today.

Then off of this planet grew demons. Our 🅱oi's eyes burned up and fell out of his head and he killed himself so hard that another monstrosity came out of his cadaver: sports equipment.

The demons took the sports gear and immediately set up courts, fields, rings, and diamonds where they would hold sports competitions to see who would become the next dictator of their communist society.

...

The next chapter of the Wii Sports lore starts with a discovery made by the demons: They figured out that they could harvest souls from some sort of overworld and put them in torture machines that they called "Miis".

They enslaved the Miis and made them play sports for eternity, making them so exhausted and causing them so much pain, but forcing them to keep on going. It was Hell, it was a Wii Sports Hell. This is where the game Wii Sports takes place.

But recently there has been an uprising in the time frame of the game, the campaign (once again, check the Wii Instruction Manual and you'll see that there is a campaign): You need to compete to gain the favor of the demons so that you have a chance to escape.

When you finally do escape, you discover that people have been escaping to a secret island where there are no sports, just fun. This is where the campaign ends and where the next game, Wii Sports Resort, picks up. But that story is for another day.

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