Zelda: Beat Up Link

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I was finally able to get my hands on an N64. I remember all the great times I had with it back in the days, and I finally found one with 2 controllers, 6 games, console for 10$

The strange thing was that the kid who sold it to me had about 5 other people trying to buy it at his garage sale but he only sold it to me. The game I was most excited for was Ocarina of Time. I had never beat it as a child but I would now.

I loaded up my system, booted it up, and inserted the OOT cartridge. It was a gold one so I was eager to do all the glitches. But at the title screen, Epona went faster than all the walkthroughs I saw. Figuring it was my imagination, I made a new file labeled LINK. I went through the game, beating the deku tree. But when I tried to leave the same kid who was there before wasn't gone. I tried to tlk to him, but he said "I hate you LINK" instead of warning me not to leave.

I got freaked out because that doesn't happen in the game. But what was more freaky that he kicked Link in the balls, knocking him down. He actually kicked his penis. He started kicking Link, beating him up until he bled. I cannot describe the terror I felt, this was happening on my N64. Link was transported to Death Mountin, and for some reason, SARIA was there, and she threw Link down onto a rolling rock!

I was about to turn off my system but it wouldn't. All the bosses were where Link was on the ground. He got up, looked around. The bosses lunged at him, actually tearing him to shreds, not literally. But when the death music played, everything was normal. Saria came, and she had a match lit! She dropped it onto Link's unconcious body, and it burned. "Piece of shit" She said. She looked at the screen, said "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you? And my system literally EXPLODED.

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