ZombiU: Cursed Edition

Alright, we know about ZombiU, right? No? To sum it up in poor grammar, Wii U title, survival horror, zombies, black guys, and more. I happened to go to this store and some guy gave me the game for free. "But I don't have a Wii U" I said. He gave me the premium free as well. I hooked up the Wii U, waited for the Day 1 update to install for 2 hours. Since time was flying by, I put the game in the Playstation 3 and there was a screen that says, "ARE YOU THAT POOR?!? BUY A WII U TO PLAY THIS GAME!!!" The update finished, and I can finally play the Wii U game on the Wii U instead of breaking the disc. When the game was done loading, THE TITLE SCREEN WASN'T FILLED WITH BLOOD!!! IT WAS FILLED WITH FLOWERS!!!! Well, I guess Easter IS coming up so... Pedophile Easter Rabbit zombies? Nah. Too cliché. Anyways, the game started up, and I had no weapons. I HAD A CHOCOLATE BAR WITH PEANUT BUTTER ON TOP!!! I was asked nicely to get the kid his Pokémon cards back from a bully. TOO SCARY FOR ME!!! A zombie slowly approached me and he was giving me a teddy bear and cookies with warm milk. The zombie also was singing "Happy Birthday" to me. In fact, all of the zombies have been doing that. Once I attacked that zombie, it didn't attack me, it said, "OUCH! That hurt, I'm telling mummy on you, big meanie!!" Wow. Those words are pretty haunting. That's not the worst part, tough. ONE OF THE ZOMBIES WAS RONALD MCDONALD AND HE WASN'T EVEN A ZOMBIE!! HE JUST STARED AT ME AND SAID, "You should smile more! And maybe smoke alot of WEED, MOTHAHFUGGAH!!!" I then hit the "zombie" and then, my 2nd grade teacher caught me in the act and said, "Nuh uh uuh. You know hitting someone is very wrong. Detention for the whole recess." That's when I then saw a confetti PowerPoint background, with big, percing black font that said the most haunting words I can't even imagine. It said...

"Make sure you brush your teeth every night you go to bed!"

I then took the game out of the Wii U, and broke the game disc. Then, I took a good look at the game cover and, oh lord. I can't even explain what it looked like...

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