ANTIPASTA.EXE: Difference between revisions
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Okay, you probably ain't gonna believe this, but I can't save it only to myself anymore. |
Okay, you probably ain't gonna believe this, but I can't save it only to myself anymore. |
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I wanted to play some old |
I wanted to play some old Pokémon video-games, and that was why I was on eBay. I don't know why I didn't simply get some Gameboy ROM online. I must be an idiot or something, but, hey, you can't say that me, ok? I'VE GOT A TRAGIC CHILDHOOD!!!!111 |
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I bought this really poorly cared |
I bought this really poorly cared Pokémon cartridge instead of some good stuff for whatever reason. One month later (yeah, ya know, these fucking post offices) a box was delivered on my front door. I opened it and, inside, it was the cartridge. But it wasn't alone: a CD was at the bottom, with black marker written "NOSTALGICRANDOMGAME.EXE", with a note attached that said: |
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<blockquote> |
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<i>DO NOT YOU DARE TO PLAY THIS GAME OR IT WILL COME FOR YOU TOO THAT CD IS HAUNTED BY SOME SERIOUS AND SCARY SPIRIT OF A DEAD ABUSED PSYCHO IMMORTAL KID WHO ENJOYS K-POP AND THAT ASIAN STUFF YA KNOW DON'T PLAY IT OR YOU WILL END UP JUST LIKE ME I'M GOING TO END MY LIFE |
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PS: YOUR ARE NEXT!!11 |
PS: YOUR ARE NEXT!!11</i> |
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</blockquote> |
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After reading that horrible note, I threw the CD on the trash bin. I haven't even ordered that shit! |
After reading that horrible note, I threw the CD on the trash bin. I haven't even ordered that shit! |
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I took a deeper look on the |
I took a deeper look on the Pokémon cartridge. It had no label and had really strange color: glowing greenish purple with orange stripes. With a shining silver marker, the old owner wrote "POKÉMON BLOOD & GORY EDITION" and drew a hyper-unrealistic (I mean, it's hard to be fucking Da Vinci when your canvas it's the size of a Gameboy cartridge) image of EVIL PATRIXXX. I thought "Well, that's some weird shit, but fuck it, man, I paid for it" and put it on the Gameboy. |
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The title screen was different than any usual |
The title screen was different than any usual Pokémon game. First of all, the name on the title was "Benny Suffocated" (btw, if that was an made-up story - it's not, I swear, I was skeptical too, but now I believe it - Benny it's an original character not related with any other one on the creepypasta community). |
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I ain't stupid, ok? Nobody in the world would see that title screen and move on playing. That wasn't no glitch, it was a hackROM I didn't wanted, just like that fucking CD! |
I ain't stupid, ok? Nobody in the world would see that title screen and move on playing. That wasn't no glitch, it was a hackROM I didn't wanted, just like that fucking CD! |
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I went to my computer to email the game's seller about that. His username was 666SatanCockSucker, what didn't scared me at all. I mean, at least he has a name. I'd be scared if he was an anonymous dude, 'cause that's Reddit and 4Chan stuff and that creep the shit outta me. |
I went to my computer to email the game's seller about that. His username was 666SatanCockSucker, what didn't scared me at all. I mean, at least he has a name. I'd be scared if he was an anonymous dude, 'cause that's Reddit and 4Chan stuff and that creep the shit outta me. |
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He said he felt sorry about the misunderstanding and, to apologize, he would send me a DVD collection of the best episodes of |
He said he felt sorry about the misunderstanding and, to apologize, he would send me a DVD collection of the best episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants, which he had access for being a Nickelodeon intern. |
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"Shut up, dude, no way!" I replied, totally not believing his bullshit "If you're really an intern, send something exclusively RAD!" |
"Shut up, dude, no way!" I replied, totally not believing his bullshit "If you're really an intern, send something exclusively RAD!" |
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He said "okay" and, another month later, a box was at my door. I opened, grab the DVD and was ready to put it inside my computer, when the terrible truth |
He said "okay" and, another month later, a box was at my door. I opened, grab the DVD and was ready to put it inside my computer, when the terrible truth hit: all the so-called "lost episodes" of SpongeBob inside that DVD wasn't lost anymore, because someone had to find to PUT'EM ON THE DISC. |
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I broke that shit with a 200" knife on my kitchen. Then I went to the bathroom and looked at myself on the mirror, crying for all the time I've lost on these last months |
I broke that shit with a 200" knife on my kitchen. Then I went to the bathroom and looked at myself on the mirror, crying for all the time I've lost on these last months... |
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Time. Yeah, time. |
Time. Yeah, time. |
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Well, since that day, I never shoved clocks on my eye-hole again. |
Well, since that day, I never shoved clocks on my eye-hole again. |
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[[Category:Satire]] |
[[Category:Satire]] |
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[[Category:File Extensions]] |
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[[Category:Cliche Madness]] |
[[Category:Cliche Madness]] |
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[[Category:Pokemon]] |
[[Category:Pokemon]] |
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[[Category:English Class Failure]] |
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[[Category:Lost Episodes]] |
[[Category:Lost Episodes]] |
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[[Category: |
[[Category:Loads of Characters]] |
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<comments /> |
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