A Bush Ranger's Tale

This is a story about me time as a bush wanker tracking the kangasaurus rex in fair dinkum Down Under. Me missus said I should tell you fucking cunts what I saw there. Fair warning it's heaps spooky.

One time I was drinking bevies with the blokes in the park wankers office when a lady came in and said she saw the great whopping yabbie gobber of Uluru. So I packed me digerizooka and a few trusty aborigines and trekked across the bush. About six hundred wallaby hops in I stopped for a piss because I'd been chucking back bevies all day. While I'm pissing the great whopping silver-backed yabbie sprung up and gave me a fair dinkum gobbie. Pretty fucking spooky.

Another time me mates and I heard about the bunyip who spooked all the aborigines all the way to Indonesia. So we got fucking wrecked for the liquid confidence and went after the bastard with nothing but our boomerangs and our billabongs. Later we're camping for the night telling each other ghost stories when one of me mates gets pretty fucking spooked and there's the bunyip wanker off in the bushes, giving us a good old cheeky stare and copping itself a feel which was fucken gnarly. So I threw me fucken boomerang at the cunt.

But It didn't come back.

Holy shit what the fuck.

There's heaps more but I'm not posting until me centrelink comes in and I can pay for the next month's shit broadband.

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Credited to Oscarges 

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