A Super Scary Lost Copy of New Super Mario Bros. Wii Found At Nintendo

Once upon a time, I was an intern at Nintendo who played all of the games in the Mario series. Except for one game that somebody at Nintendo created but was never released to the public due to its graphic violence and gore. The game was supposedly a bootleg copy of New Super Mario Bros. Wii that was developed by one intern who died days after it was finished. Not a single word was said about the mysterious copy. Since the box art of the game looked really interesting, I took it home after another normal day at work as an intern. I opened the disc case, which contained the game disc and no instruction manual. I thought that was strange since the normal copies of New Super Mario Bros. Wii included a manual. I popped the disc out of the case and inserted it into my Wii console. While the game was loading, I noticed that the game lacked an official Nintendo seal. I knew that this copy was fake.

When I clicked on the game on the main menu screen, the normal song played. But at the end, it said, "DEAD SUPER MARIO BROTHERS, DYIINNG!" At this point, I thought to myself, "this is DEFINITELY a screwed up game." The opening screen came on, but all of the characters were walking like zombies, and all of the colors were inverted. The background music was playing in reverse. The message told me to press the A button. I pressed it, and the screen faded to black. Then it cut to the file screen. One saved file came up. The last person who played it left off on World 1. No coins were collected. I selected that file, and boy, did things REALLY get messed up. Instead of letting me select the number of players, it just cut to the map, leaving me as the only player. The map looked terrible, and I mean TERRIBLE. Princess Peach's castle exploded and caught on fire. The sky was a blood red color. All of the Toad Houses looked decayed. The tower and castle were also exploded and on fire. Everybody on the map was DEAD, except for Mario. I went into the World 1-1 spot, and pressed the A button. Mario chanted, "Letsa die!" instead of the usual "Letsa go!" in a demonic voice. This made me feel uneasy and not want to play this game. But I had no choice but to PLAY it.

I only had one life left in the game, and zero coins. When the level started, it looked the exact same as the map: the sky was blood red, Peach's castle was exploded and on fire, and everybody was just... dead. There were no enemies, coins, or blocks. The land was ALL flat. Mario looked EXTREMELY sad. Music didn't play in the background. I shivered in fear as I held down the right arrow button on my arrow pad. Mario began to walk very slowly like a zombie, just like in the opening screen. Static began to SCREECH in the background, becoming louder and louder as Mario moved farther from the spawn point. Five minutes in, I began to see dead bodies ALL over the ground. ALL of their organs were pulled out of their body. Eyes, intestines, hearts, lungs, you name it, their organs were EVERYWHERE!!! Blood-curdling screams could be heard in the background as well. I was about to vomit at this point. Where's the flagpole?

The level lasted for a total of thirteen minutes and six seconds. I walked for THIRTEEN STRAIGHT MINUTES. I jumped on the flagpole RIGHT when it appeared. I was happy that this horrible level was finally over. However, Mario fell head-first onto the ground at the bottom of the pole. His entire body split in half. All of his organs splattered onto the screen. The screen cut to a message that said, "You're next, Calico..." How did this cursed game snatch my name? The message faded, then realistic blood splattered all over the screen. This scene lasted for three minutes before the disc finally ejected itself.

I grabbed the disc and threw it against the ground. I slashed the disc as much as possible with my pocket knife into very small pieces. I threw them all away in the garbage can for safe keeping until trash day. I did the same with the box art so I wouldn't have to see that terrifying image of the undead characters ever again. After destroying the remains of the game, I went to bed and fell asleep several times. I kept having nightmares about the game, even though it was already gone for good. But on the bright side, I eventually forgot about it three months after I quit my job as an intern at Nintendo. I was thankful for what I did to that game because it was super terrible. Now I'm an unemployed person who is still seeking a new job to this very day...

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