Bi-Polar Express: Difference between revisions
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On Christmas Eve, many 2004s ago, I was thinking about Tim Carry in the Grinch movie, and then Tim Allen in The Santa Clause. I cringed under the sheets. I made it look like I was breathing slowly and silently to disguise the fear I had of a sound I thought I'd never hear. |
On Christmas Eve, many 2004s ago, I was thinking about Tim Carry in the Grinch movie, and then Tim Allen in The Santa Clause. I cringed under the sheets. I made it look like I was breathing slowly and silently to disguise the fear I had of a sound I thought I'd never hear. |
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''(UUUGGHHHHAA??)'' |
''(UUUGGHHHHAA??)'' |
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… |
… |
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I opened my eyes suddenly, hearing that sound. I blinked repeatedly, and looked at the timer. It said (11:49), I don't really know what significance that had other than it was too late in the night to be hearing that obnoxious sound agai- |
I opened my eyes suddenly, hearing that sound. I blinked repeatedly, and looked at the timer. It said (11:49), I don't really know what significance that had other than it was too late in the night to be hearing that obnoxious sound agai- |
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''(UUUGGHHHHAA??)'' |
''(UUUGGHHHHAA??)'' |
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I got up quickly and swiftly and peaked through the window. Hearing the sound again, but with combination with another meme. I tiptoed downstairs and the sound played repeatedly again and again. A shadow of someone sitting and getting up showed as the sound volume matched with the step. |
I got up quickly and swiftly and peaked through the window. Hearing the sound again, but with combination with another meme. I tiptoed downstairs and the sound played repeatedly again and again. A shadow of someone sitting and getting up showed as the sound volume matched with the step. |
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Getting closer, <big>closer,</big> <big>…closer.</big> |
Getting closer, <big>closer,</big> <big>…closer.</big> |
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The fridge opened and I peaked around the corner. It was just a computer on YouTube, playing Tim Allen Grunt meme compilations. It was my father, named "The Father" and he got back to the monitor with a packet of pepperoni. |
The fridge opened and I peaked around the corner. It was just a computer on YouTube, playing Tim Allen Grunt meme compilations. It was my father, named "The Father" and he got back to the monitor with a packet of pepperoni. |
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I ran back to my room, and searched up ''is the north pole have people'' on my phone. The first result went to National Geographic, which was a black screen with Arial font text saying: |
I ran back to my room, and searched up ''is the north pole have people'' on my phone. The first result went to National Geographic, which was a black screen with Arial font text saying: |
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<big>'''NO, WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT.'''</big> |
<big>'''NO, WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT.'''</big> |
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I read it quietly out loud, but then got back to sleeping as both "The Parents" walked in. |
I read it quietly out loud, but then got back to sleeping as both "The Parents" walked in. |
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(whispering) ''"Is he dead?"'' |
(whispering) ''"Is he dead?"'' |
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''"Hell no, just asleep. Let's go over to him for no reason.'' |
''"Hell no, just asleep. Let's go over to him for no reason.'' |
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''"Tom Hanks would be proud, …'''''Tim Carry would be better."''''' |
''"Tom Hanks would be proud, …'''''Tim Carry would be better."''''' |
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They quietly walked out, and then SLAMED THE DOOR as hard as possible for some reason, but I slept through it. However, the thought keep being in my head. |
They quietly walked out, and then SLAMED THE DOOR as hard as possible for some reason, but I slept through it. However, the thought keep being in my head. |
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'''Tim Carry would be better?''' |
'''Tim Carry would be better?''' |
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I decided to keep sleeping, but then stuff began shaking. |
I decided to keep sleeping, but then stuff began shaking. |
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<big>''(dun-d-d-d-d-d-d-d)''</big> |
<big>''(dun-d-d-d-d-d-d-d)''</big> |
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"Wha-wa-a-a-a-a-t-tha-fu-kisg-o-e-eng-O-O-ON-N-N-N!?" |
"Wha-wa-a-a-a-a-t-tha-fu-kisg-o-e-eng-O-O-ON-N-N-N!?" |
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The rest of the family evacuated out, but I stayed there confused in my bed. Things kept shaking, but then my phone fell off the bed, which caused it to seemingly emit my Keemstar screaming meme ringtone. |
The rest of the family evacuated out, but I stayed there confused in my bed. Things kept shaking, but then my phone fell off the bed, which caused it to seemingly emit my Keemstar screaming meme ringtone. |
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'''''<big>EARTHQUAKE</big>''''' |
'''''<big>EARTHQUAKE</big>''''' |
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'''''<big><big>(TRAIN WHISTLE, TRAIN WHISTLE, TRAIN, WHISTLE)</big></big>''''' |
'''''<big><big>(TRAIN WHISTLE, TRAIN WHISTLE, TRAIN, WHISTLE)</big></big>''''' |
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The lights outside blaired side to side, and I ran outside casually in my pajamas. I got to the yard, and slid sideways like in Initial D, speaking of which. |
The lights outside blaired side to side, and I ran outside casually in my pajamas. I got to the yard, and slid sideways like in Initial D, speaking of which. |
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...Train? |
...Train? |
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The train's very front was a Thomas the Tank Engine face in the middle of a shocked look, so it reminded me a lot of Tom Hanks. I walked forward to the front car, and was about to get on, but then heard a very faint, but loud: |
The train's very front was a Thomas the Tank Engine face in the middle of a shocked look, so it reminded me a lot of Tom Hanks. I walked forward to the front car, and was about to get on, but then heard a very faint, but loud: |
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<big>"ALL ABOARD!"</big> |
<big>"ALL ABOARD!"</big> |
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...say what? |
...say what? |
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<big>"AAAAAAWW ABouaAHHD!"</big> |
<big>"AAAAAAWW ABouaAHHD!"</big> |
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I walked over to the opposite end of the rattler, he stood there by the second to last car, but it wasn't Tom Hanks, it was Tim Carry. |
I walked over to the opposite end of the rattler, he stood there by the second to last car, but it wasn't Tom Hanks, it was Tim Carry. |
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He raised his eyebrow. "Well, you comin?" |
He raised his eyebrow. "Well, you comin?" |
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"...where?" |
"...where?" |
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"Why to the North Pole, cuz of course! IT'S THE BI-POLAR EXPRESS." |
"Why to the North Pole, cuz of course! IT'S THE BI-POLAR EXPRESS." |
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... |
... |
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"The fuk is that?" |
"The fuk is that?" |
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Conductor Carry gave me a look like The Rock reacting TikToks. "I see." |
Conductor Carry gave me a look like The Rock reacting TikToks. "I see." |
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"I'm assuming you don't believe in Santa?" |
"I'm assuming you don't believe in Santa?" |
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I thought of saying 'what does it look like'. |
I thought of saying 'what does it look like'. |
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"No." |
"No." |
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"Well it says here, no personal email to Santa, no sitting on Mall Santa's lap, and you made your sister watch my version of The Grinch. Mm-hm. Sounds like me you may or may not say yes to, if I were you. <small>...Get outta here."</small> |
"Well it says here, no personal email to Santa, no sitting on Mall Santa's lap, and you made your sister watch my version of The Grinch. Mm-hm. Sounds like me you may or may not say yes to, if I were you. <small>...Get outta here."</small> |
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"I-I mean, '''''I would think about climbing on aboard.'''''" |
"I-I mean, '''''I would think about climbing on aboard.'''''" |
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... |
... |
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"Really? Yo just gon stand there doin nothing, ah okay." |
"Really? Yo just gon stand there doin nothing, ah okay." |
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He got on, and my ringtone sound kept playing as the horn, and it forced me to bouncy-house jump onto the train, and slam my head on the floor of the passenger car. |
He got on, and my ringtone sound kept playing as the horn, and it forced me to bouncy-house jump onto the train, and slam my head on the floor of the passenger car. |
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{{by-user|Minksdinkle7}} |
{{by-user|Minksdinkle7}} |
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[[Category:Trollpasta]] |
[[Category:Trollpasta]] |
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[[Category:Satire]] |
[[Category:Satire]] |
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[[Category:Lost Episodes]] |
[[Category:Lost Episodes]] |
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[[Category:TOTALLY NOT UNFINISHED U GUIZE]] |
[[Category:TOTALLY NOT UNFINISHED U GUIZE]] |
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