Bush's Baked Death: Difference between revisions
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I was driving home from my job when I stumbled across a garage sale with an old man giving out various goods. I looked at his wares as I noticed a can of baked beans labelled "BUSH'S BAKED BEANS" in sharpie. I was always a fan of Bush's Baked Beans and I enjoyed collecting rare cans, so I was |
I was driving home from my job when I stumbled across a garage sale with an old man giving out various goods. I looked at his wares as I noticed a can of baked beans labelled "BUSH'S BAKED BEANS" in sharpie. I was always a fan of Bush's Baked Beans and I enjoyed collecting rare cans, so I was intrigued. I asked the man, "How much for the beans?", and he replied "Nothing, friend. They're all yours". I took the can and instantly drove home, excited by my find. |
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When I got home, I was eager to cook what was inside of the can. Was it a prototype of a new flavor? Was it a bootleg? I had no idea. I got out my can opener as it slowly worked its way around the lid. That was a mistake. |
When I got home, I was eager to cook what was inside of the can. Was it a prototype of a new flavor? Was it a bootleg? I had no idea. I got out my can opener as it slowly worked its way around the lid. That was a mistake. |
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The moment the lid came undone, a demonic hand reached out of the can and grabbed my throat. I tried to pull it off, but its grip kept getting tighter. I pulled out a kitchen knife and slashed it, causing it to recoil back into the can. I thought the horror was over, but things were to only get worse. The can dropped on the floor, and a human-like figure began to squeeze out of it. As soon as the figure rose to its feet, my heart sank as I recognized who it was. |
The moment the lid came undone, a demonic hand reached out of the can and grabbed my throat. I tried to pull it off, but its grip kept getting tighter. I pulled out a kitchen knife and slashed it, causing it to recoil back into the can. I thought the horror was over, but things were to only get worse. The can dropped on the floor, and a human-like figure began to squeeze out of it. As soon as the figure rose to its feet, my heart sank as I recognized who it was. |
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It was my dead girlfriend Patricia, staring me in the face with a sinister smile that |
It was my dead girlfriend Patricia, staring me in the face with a sinister smile that emanated less joy and more malice. She had died last year in a horrible car accident, and now, somehow, she had returned as a horrible demon, here to kill me. |
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"Ha ha ha... you shouldn't have left me to die! Now you're going to pay the price" Patricia said as blood slowly rolled down from her eyes. This was it, I was going to die. |
"Ha ha ha... you shouldn't have left me to die! Now you're going to pay the price" Patricia said as blood slowly rolled down from her eyes. This was it, I was going to die. |
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However, I remembered I trained in Tae Kwon Do years ago, so I attempted to fight off my former lover. It worked and she retreated back into the can. After taking a moment to recollect my thoughts, I brought the can out into the garage and ran it over several times with my car. Since that day, no evil spirits have bothered me since. |
However, I remembered I trained in Tae Kwon Do years ago, so I attempted to fight off my former lover. It worked and she retreated back into the can. After taking a moment to recollect my thoughts, I brought the can out into the garage and ran it over several times with my car. Since that day, no evil spirits have bothered me since. |
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[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]] |
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]] |
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[[Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.]] |
[[Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.]] |
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[[Category:BATTELS]] |
[[Category:BATTELS]] |
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[[Category:EVIL FOOD]] |
[[Category:EVIL FOOD]] |
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