Canned Carrots

Listen up Bois. You can't trust elves. I know everyone thinks monkey balls are their favorite food but it's actually long and hard. No, I'm not talking about the baculum but the carrots. Canned carrots to be specific.

Anyways as the second coming of Jesus I celebrate my birthday as summer Christmas. Last summer Christmas I used the bathroom and out popped an elf as I pooped. It was covered in faeces and mugged me. That day I lost my canned carrots and everything changed.

Yep, that's why you shouldn't use the bathroom while smoking a fat can of carrots. Why you shouldn't GIVE an elf canned carrots is very different and spoopier. You see elf's have naturally white skin but they like to have orange skin. That's actually why for Willy Wonka and the Chomo Factory they hunted some elves for oompaloompa. So yeah, back on point elves have orange skin. To keep the skin orange they like to inject themselves with carrots. Any kind works but canned are softer and you can just cut a little hole in your skin, plop 'em in and be orange.

Never give elves the canned carrots though because you'll see how happy it makes them and you'll want some. That shits addictive man. Ruins lives, stay away kids.

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Credited to BeautifulScarletRB 

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