Curse of the Pumpkin Spice Latte: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Evil_coffe.png|thumb]]
''Sponsored by Starbucks™''

Every autumn, there is a delicious beverage in Starbucks™, and it is a Pumpkin Spice Latte. I love that beverage. As if it was ambrosia, from the coffee goddess. The flavor, pumpkin. It is...beautiful. Each sip, I savor it. I never had such a beverage that tasted oh-so-good.
Every autumn, there is a delicious beverage in Starbucks™, and it is a Pumpkin Spice Latte. I love that beverage. As if it was ambrosia, from the coffee goddess. The flavor, pumpkin. It is...beautiful. Each sip, I savor it. I never had such a beverage that tasted oh-so-good.


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I went home, in my beige '69 Chevy Nova, and I been hearing a weird groan. I keep on hearing,
I went home, in my beige '69 Chevy Nova, and I been hearing a weird groan. I keep on hearing,


<math>DRINK ME. DRINK ME NOW, DAMN IT.</math>
''DRINK ME. DRINK ME NOW, DAMN IT.''


It was a ghastly cry, I was concerned. I looked at it. Stomach groaned. I grasped it. I sniffed it. Oh, the pumpkin. I must drink it. I MUST!
It was a ghastly cry, I was concerned. I looked at it. Stomach groaned. I grasped it. I sniffed it. Oh, the pumpkin. I must drink it. I MUST!
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I drank it. It was beautiful. '''I LOVED IT!!'''
I drank it. It was beautiful. '''I LOVED IT!!'''


<math>Yes...yes...drink!</math>
''Yes...yes...drink!''


What was that? I don't know. I better drink more. Mmmm...
What was that? I don't know. I better drink more. Mmmm...
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What caused this? Orange? Pumpkin? Pumpkin...PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE! HORY SHET! I PANICKED! I RUN!
What caused this? Orange? Pumpkin? Pumpkin...PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE! HORY SHET! I PANICKED! I RUN!

I grabbed the latte, I screamed, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!"
I grabbed the latte, I screamed, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!"


<math>I LOVE TO TORTURE YOU</math>
''I LOVE TO TORTURE YOU''


"EXPLAIN ME FOWL BEAST! WHO ARE YOU?!"
"EXPLAIN ME FOWL BEAST! WHO ARE YOU?!"


<math>Je suis monstre!</math>
''Je suis monstre!''


"ENGLISH!"
"ENGLISH!"


<math>I AM MONSTER!</math>
''I AM MONSTER!''


"NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS?! A CREEPYPASTA?! A TROLLPASTA?!" (Oh wait.)
"NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS?! A CREEPYPASTA?! A TROLLPASTA?!" (Oh wait.)


<math>WHAT'S A CREEPYPASTA?!</math>
''WHAT'S A CREEPYPASTA?!''


"Creepypasta is the name given to all kinds of weird, urban legend-type things going on in the Internet. Some are stories, some are images, some are videos, and all of them are potential making-you-crap-your-pants material."
"Creepypasta is the name given to all kinds of weird, urban legend-type things going on in the Internet. Some are stories, some are images, some are videos, and all of them are potential making-you-crap-your-pants material."


<math>Thanks a lot, dictionary.</math>
''Thanks a lot, dictionary.''


"You're welcome. Wait. I'm suppose to help you!"
"You're welcome. Wait. I'm suppose to help you!"
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"Oh-ho-hoh! I am noncanon Jeff! The Jeff that is NOT TRUELY CANON!"
"Oh-ho-hoh! I am noncanon Jeff! The Jeff that is NOT TRUELY CANON!"


<math>WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!</math>
''WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!''


"Why is that latte talking?" said Jeff.
"Why is that latte talking?" said Jeff.


<math>I AM HAUNTED.</math>
''I AM HAUNTED.''


"Yeah, sure! B-u-l-l-s-h-i-t! I've seen better on the Goosebumps forums!"
"Yeah, sure! B-u-l-l-s-h-i-t! I've seen better on the Goosebumps forums!"
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Well, Jeff killed it with a knife.
Well, Jeff killed it with a knife.


<math>GOD DAMN IT, LOGIC!</math>
''GOD DAMN IT, LOGIC!''


And Jeff killed me with knife.
And Jeff killed me with knife.
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Oh wait, I'm dea
Oh wait, I'm dea
⚫
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Jeff the Killer]]
[[Category:Jeff the Killer]]
[[Category:Crappy ms paint drawings]]

[[Category:DIALOGUE!]]
[[Category:DIALOGUE!]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
[[Category:EVIL FOOD]]
[[Category:EVIL FOOD]]
[[Category:Im died]]
[[Category:Im died]]
⚫
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
{{Comments}}
{{Comments}}

Latest revision as of 17:27, 7 May 2022

Every autumn, there is a delicious beverage in Starbucks™, and it is a Pumpkin Spice Latte. I love that beverage. As if it was ambrosia, from the coffee goddess. The flavor, pumpkin. It is...beautiful. Each sip, I savor it. I never had such a beverage that tasted oh-so-good.

Until on one horrifying day on the fifth of November in 2013, I experienced hell. From the beverage I loved and adored, I was backstabbed. Backstabbed by a traitor called Pumpkin Spice Latte. You may be wondering, Why would such a beautiful Starbucks™ product give you hell? For one thing, no. I did not recieved hell, I experienced it. Thank you very much! Anyways, I am here to tell my story. My episode, which will reveal such horrifying paranormal events that can be simply called "Curse of the Pumpkin Spice Latte".

It was 6:42 PM, I was in a Starbucks™ in a local mall in New Jersey. There was a sale on Pumpkin Spice Latte, 33% off! Now, 33% is a drastic change of price, especially the fact that I am economically precious. When I ordered my Pumpkin Spice Latte, the cashier was shocked. Not the fact that I was ordering for the 57,632th time, but I was ordering the medium sized cup. A sized cup that wasn't order since 1972, which caused the worst paranormal episode in Starbucks™ history. I will not discuss this for...reasons. Anyways, I got the medium sized cup, and the cashier mumbled "Are-are you sure you don't want the small cup?" I denied. I wanted the medium sized cup. I WANTED IT!

I went home, in my beige '69 Chevy Nova, and I been hearing a weird groan. I keep on hearing,

DRINK ME. DRINK ME NOW, DAMN IT.

It was a ghastly cry, I was concerned. I looked at it. Stomach groaned. I grasped it. I sniffed it. Oh, the pumpkin. I must drink it. I MUST!

I drank it. It was beautiful. I LOVED IT!!

Yes...yes...drink!

What was that? I don't know. I better drink more. Mmmm...

When I arrived, I head to the shower. The color of my skin turned orange. Pumpkin orange. "WHAT THE HELL IS ON ME?!" I looked like a tourist from the Chernobyl nuclear power plant!! It was grotesque. I wondered. What is going on?

What caused this? Orange? Pumpkin? Pumpkin...PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE! HORY SHET! I PANICKED! I RUN!

I grabbed the latte, I screamed, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!"

I LOVE TO TORTURE YOU

"EXPLAIN ME FOWL BEAST! WHO ARE YOU?!"

Je suis monstre!

"ENGLISH!"

I AM MONSTER!

"NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS?! A CREEPYPASTA?! A TROLLPASTA?!" (Oh wait.)

WHAT'S A CREEPYPASTA?!

"Creepypasta is the name given to all kinds of weird, urban legend-type things going on in the Internet. Some are stories, some are images, some are videos, and all of them are potential making-you-crap-your-pants material."

Thanks a lot, dictionary.

"You're welcome. Wait. I'm suppose to help you!"

"NO PROBLEM-O!

What the hell is that?!

"'Tis I, Jeff the Killer! And I know what you should do in order to stop that coffee."

"Jeff?! I thought you were evil!"

"Oh-ho-hoh! I am noncanon Jeff! The Jeff that is NOT TRUELY CANON!"

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!

"Why is that latte talking?" said Jeff.

I AM HAUNTED.

"Yeah, sure! B-u-l-l-s-h-i-t! I've seen better on the Goosebumps forums!"

Wat?

Well, Jeff killed it with a knife.

GOD DAMN IT, LOGIC!

And Jeff killed me with knife.

Wat?

Oh wait, I'm dea

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