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{{Note credit|This is a parody of the original TV show with everyone being an adult now. I hope you enjoy this. Thanks for reading. Written by YoloSwag1}}


Prologue
This is a parody of the original TV show. This is unfinished and I hope you enjoy this (this sentence will be removed when the story is finished). I will keep updating as I finish each section. Thanks for reading.


One day in 2018 two older men were in one of their house. No this isn't yaoi. Their names were T.K. and Joe, ages forty two and forty six respectively. They were talking about their camping story.
==STORY==


"Oh my god I don't want to talk about it though because it was all dark and gothic." T.K. whined like a preppy bitch. Joe took his glasses off all sexily.
Chapter 1


"Baby... I mean T.K., stop being a fucking pervert and fantasizing over Sora's daughter." Joe said and T.K. got a confused look on his face.
Our stor started one day in the eighties I guess with our 17seventeen17 year old hero/villain Ken. He was playing hsi Zelda gae on his game boy when his older brother Sam got a strange message. “Meet me bithc” Was what the message said and Sam decided to be a idiot and go meet the person of the note. His name was Yukio Owikawa. Sam went to the coccer fidld and once there Owikawa shot Sam several times in the chest oh no. Then Ken later found out on the news and btched about it. Suddenly he found a computer that sucked him into it. Taking him into a strange digital orld. 113


"So you want me to fantasize over Sora? Like when we knew her?"
Chapter 2


"Ew no that would mean that you were fantasizing over a nineteen year old." Joe refused and T.K. pounded his head against the wall.
3Three3 digital wordl years later (which is about 18eighteen18 hours on eath), our true min charactr 18eighteen18 year old Joe was going on a date with a chick named Sarah. “Oh my goth don’t I look so good for the date?” Joe asked his older brother Jim who was looking at a picture.


"Jesus christ. Can we stop talking about what I fantasize over and do something productive?" T.K. found a empty notebook and started to write. "How about we write of our adventures at the digital world?"
“Sure thing mo fo.. Hey Joe... don’t get dirty. If you know what me men.” Jim said in response and Joe decided to listen to the waring. Then he left his house to dirve to the Srah house. Once there he got a boner over hot hot the Sear girl was.
“Oh my digshit you look sho hit Joe.” Sar said and the two went to tehir date One at their date Sra was all like “Hey Joe, why you like ?”


Joe agreed and promised that was the last pervert joke he would make.
“Because ur hot I guessa.” Joe said and then they wet back to their car after the date and dinnner nd hate hot sex. After the hot sec Sa was all looking at Joe worried of reactin.


First Arc:
“Joe we not can’t go out.” Sr told Joe and that made him cry like a pussy ass bith.


Ken woke up and found a paper. "Sam died lol."
“Fe you ass hole tnen I will bagn outh ggirls.” Joe said and then S lefy the car to were Joe wnet to home adn foing father trying to cut himself.


"Fuck." Ken said and then the swear counter went to explosion. Wow and he wasn't even twenty-one yet.
“Ht thf uf au io trying to giv nt the power strem.” Joe asked his fathe rna dhis father killped his off aof rbeven suggeted int.


Ken walks to Susan's house and cries. "I fucking love you." Ken declared and they got naked and had wild sex. They forgot protection so she got pregnant.
“of yiu mother fucking I will ith lspa hyou becouse yo en suggest that.” Joe fathr siad athen then fither btuc slap Joe super hard what the fuck he think.


The next morning Ken walks to home but then sees a man in a purple jacket. "Time to go to my world." He said in inserted a evil in his brain and threw him in a vortex.
Suden Joe left because he was hurt and didn’t wnat futher deal with. He rech cam of summer sinc it iummer and the house guy was all like “Joe you sta here the night it okay.” Joe a cepted offer and got a file of six people.


Four Years Later
“Matt , Tai, Sora ,a, Mimi, Izzy, and short ass motherfucking.:” Joe read the files and saw that they all age range from 13thirteen13 and 16sixteen16. Afterwards Joe left the house and wnet to the cam place whe the other six were waitng for him 1. 369


Devimon started flying by and saw a small digimon. "Bye bye." Devimon said and then snapped their fingers and exploded the digimon.
Chapter 3


"Can you find Patamon?" Devimon asked a new digimon called Ignitemon.
A fw minte ater Joe had found the group in their hosue doing frugh shit. Such as Mtt with knife, Tai with hakcky sack, Ixzzy truyong to break into goverment, Sora looking at magazines were with all mane and porn, Mimi talking to her fbrienf abou buff 50 yr ol guys and short guy being te norma one. “Oh my fucing penis you need to hget your shot togetrhr 1” Joe had demanesad angirly ad the group all screamed. Not because of him beut because of the wave 1. There was wave. There was a wave flying towards the group and they where all suced in like Hjounny Tsunami get it cuss that my favoyrt movie of all tim.


"No." Ignitemon said and Devimon left them alone thinking they were useless.
Whe grou wae up they ntced that they all had thses wierd gothic things that wer monster like. Sudeenly one of them start startspeaking it was a ndiosaur. “My name is Agumon and I am hilatrious and you will quote everything I say1. Matt’s emo wl that likes to cut himself is named Gabumon. Sora’s lesbian bird that gets off to lesbian porn like Sora is named Biyomon get it cuss both Sora an Biyomon are esbans. Izzy’s relaly smart ass busg that graudtated from harvadrd is named Tentomon. Mimi’s floery goddness that is really my girlfriend is anem Palmon. Joe’s anjoying as doghsot fish like thing taht sounds liek Jar jaAr MOTHERFUCKINGBINKS is named Gomamon. Then that shrt guys digimon athtw illl die by the one fourth point of the styr is named patmaon don’y get too attcehed to the, Now woth that pit of the way let’s get started on our hoes journey.” Agumon did the intorycductions as Tai looked at them totz confused. He didn’t undertsnad a single word from that.


Meanwhile at Earth, Joe was on a date. "I love you Sarah." Joe confessed and they kissed. "Want to date?"
“No no mesa stay. Mesa ggalled Gomamon. Mesa your humble servant.” Gomamon said and thn a red bug that looks ed like Scoprion from Mortal Kombat 2two2 howed up and forced teh group to a cliff were they jumped off ad suicided. Or did thsye1? 338


"Fuck off." Sarah said and then Joe went home.
Chapter 4


"She rejected me." Joe said and ran away to summer camp.
Menahwle back with our hero Ken. In teh last three years he had grown a ful on beard and now has ten rings. One for each finger. During the three years he met his olw partenr named WOrmmon. “Oh my pop 3hwat is this?1”


"What is your age?" Eric the head guy asked and Joe said twenty. "Then you can raise these people for a while."
“It’s me Wormmon I love pop tarts 1.” Wormmon said tna teht was whohw they teamed up. Once they teamed up after threw years they found a mine that was being worked on. Their leader what was named JewelBeemon.


"Matt is 23, Tai and Sora are nineteen, Izzy and Mimi are 20, and T.K. is twenty-one." Joe read and then went to the cabin.
“You will wrkk for me forevrr211’ JeewlebEbEemon said and taht wsd hwow they andslavry scareere sstarted with theat place. Kena dn WOrmmon worked very hard and over tim ahd makde up tehir promotions all the way to second in commaned behic JewleebBBEemon. It took a lot of time dodgjoist, and eforot to do it but it eventually happened.


"Let's go on a adventure." Joe told them and then a wave came in and sucked them in.
“Hey this digimon is eing a bitch by trng t give me a jblowjob I not even bu lol. Anyways can you kile that mo fo for me you piece of sfilth.” JewlebEemon said and gave Ken a gun t kill the digimon taht was rejfecting.


In a odd world, the group woke up. "We are digimon." Tai's digimon said and then introduced. "I am dinosaur. Gabumon is emo dog. Biyomon is pink bird for LGBT. Tentomon is smart bug. Palmon is living plant. Gomamon is a seal. Patamon is useless."
ekEn had a very hard choice to made. He had two tug of war happen and he made a choice. “No VOLDEDMROT!1!”: Ken yelled and hsot the gun at JewlebEEmons bac severba times na dklled the eveil oer lord get it cuss teh great movie ever is named Robot Overlord Dylan and would agree with me right lol bithc.


After this short introduction, Devimon showed up. "I am evil. I am looking for my son."
“How ahboyt we part the vitsoyr?” Wormomn suggested and the grou and heroes working at the mine had a big mparty. After the pary they formed a group challed the feedo m firghters and the freedom fighters started to rebel against evil like the show Sonic the Hedgehog. 296


"Am I your son?" Patamon asked and Devimon said yes. Shocked reactions went everywhere and the group nearly wet their pants.
Chapter 5


"I will be taking you." Devimon said and grabbed Patamon. Somebody screamed and ran up to save them but got bitched slapped.
Meanwhile with our much less interesting heroes for now, tehy where walking a long on the tbeach as if the previous events of the flicc breaking apart that they where falling pff of had never fucking happend. “I really wish I had some fun these days.” Mimi bitched loudly and looked at Joe. “Do you have a idea?”


Ignitemon flew in right afterwards.
“Don’t worry my love there will be plenty of lave latr for the bot of us.” Joe had told his new cursha dn the they found something that was all dogshit and wried. It was phone booths nest to the water edge. Not at all questionsing the position of them, the grouo each went to one except for the short guy who serves no purpose in teh first parts of this story.


"I will help you." Ignitemon said and then everybody looked confused.
“oh my sfucking hotline will the fuck wil l you answer 1.” Sora bitched while she was trying to call her mother who really loved her wven toygh shc e aws in fcking denail because you was a fucking teenager and all fucking teeagers are in denail bithc.


"I wasn't in the original show but this isn't like the show so it doesn't matter." Ignitemon reminded them and the group started to run to find Devimon.
“I fucking quo my mother and father won’t answe the damn machie. Pr maybe it relaly liek Doctr who who really had a time lord machone and this is one of them holey shit they why I never confissdeed that.” Ta wai was statbf as he sa down net to Sora n closed this eyes for na and doghsot. Suddenly a dnoise taht happeend athat woek everytbody up from tehyr worset nightard. It was your father when yh egrounds no. No JK but for ireal it was sea monster.


After several hours of straight up running they found Devimon doing gross stuff to Patamon.
“I love sea food.” Joe said and then tried to eat it and when he tried to eat it it hurt his eyes and ears but not his nose because his nose was fucking powerful like dogshit.


"Hold them tight." Patamon said and then digivolved to Angemon. They held Devimon in a full nelson.
“That is eneogh.” Tai yelled and tried to fight teh sea monster but it brok his neck and he died. No not really but he did get thrown at a swall which was te ime more painful than having sex lol. Then Agumon couldn’t do it anynore. He was scacew igorr his anndsnaaritu. I mean snity but I am too laxy to retype that word.


"FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!!!!" Ignitemon yelled as they shot a powerful attack at them and killed them.
‘AgUMON LASXT NEDSSS TO GREYMON!” Agumon yelled and shot out flaminthrowers from Diart Queen at the enmie and it worked like the sex ream that I had ast night. The sea monsetrs swam away because it couldn’t handle teh pur fucking awesome of flamsthrowers buregers.


"Double kill." The narrator yelled and then there was a thing next to Devimon that started speaking.
“yeay that was our furist fucking battle 1. Now lets’ get hungry.” Izzy was saying as he was thiniung about the food they like “ I wasnt pizza.” He said and then a really lost Round Table guy showed up and tried to fidn the rigt delivery but the people lied because they where douchehbags and told them taht it was their order so they got to eat pizza the whole night like fucn and rdreams. 489


"Oh look a new fucking threat. Let's take care of that." Ken who was now evil said this through the small thing that started to speak.
Chapter 6


"We have to train." Sora said in a annoyed voice. T.K. left the group for no reason whatsoever.
That night there was trollye car and the group all nknew waht the fuck that meant. “Let’s have a strip poll party!” Matt screamed in excitement and everybody got naked as they had sex with the dragon from Spiro and then afterwards teh went inside the trolley car fro one reason. Jeremy Irons had told them to. There was s stripe pole and on the strip poel there was anotice that said ‘Sex me sex me.”


In the several weeks it took for Ken and their helper JewelBeemon to show up, the group started training like crazy with Ignitemon. "I am a creepy digimon and a potential porn dealer. But I won't ever admit that to you." Ignitemon said and then the training began. The group all had their digimon digivolve and they had new power levels like high.
Mimi went first. She was oing the mecjagar. Matt went in di the Magic Mike danco off from the start of teh fucking movie.
Then Sora did the dance that was in all those eroctic movies that made everybody honry and just couldn’t contain their lust for her. Even toygh she was a lgreat female lead as will be shown in the later bits of teh story. Tai did the monnwalk and when he reached teh pole he got fully naked and then rubbed his butt and back against the pole. Izzy opened his computer and rubbed it up and down the pole as he was recording it the whole time. Then Joe sis the Macarina and then after he did the macarina he found our a visio. “My dad knows teh secret to life.” He yiled and then before te short guy do santhing on that pole there was anther fuckin noice. It was s ea nskae.


With T,K. he trained with a man named Gennai. "You need to master the worstbending." Gennai told T.K. and gave him a lightsaber that was a blue one. After all this crazy training T.K. reached a new high level. It had made Matt jealous and Mimi want to get in his pants. He climbed up a mountain and shit and saved some digimon from a dark world and a evil digimon called Dagomon. Oh wait that didn't happen yet sorry.
“What the fucking flying horse dogshit. I thoyght e where dong to be safe for thet night but I guess I war wrong. Anytwahsu lets take care of it right fruclimg now.” Matt was saying and then he jumped on that snaea snake like fucking KO from Mortal Kombat ad then he was flung asidde like he didn’t matter which he really doesn’t.


Ken was with JewelBeemon and they dealt with bugs that tried to seduce them. "I will be your slave if you become my prison bitch." The bug offered to Ken and he screamed as he yelled at them to fuck off.
“I will agnsget Gabumon to become Garurumon!” His partner yelled when they decided that they wanted to safe the day. Aftweards they defeated teh sea snale with their fucking frire cbreath like coller fro m freirzzer. Afterwards short guy looked at Matt and Matt looked at short guy.
"NO ONE GETS MY DICK BESIDES SUSAN!!!!!" Ken held his arms up like Vegeta when he yelled this exact chant.


Eventually Ken found the group and laughed at how weak they were. "Really your power level is only like 1,500? Whatever." Ken snapped his hand and then a couple garbage digimon popped up. They were Numemon and around five in all. "These all have the same power level of Devimon."
“I hope you know how useless you are you fucking prick.” Matt said ad then left the short guy alone. He wanted to kill Matt so fucking badly it wasn’t even funny.
But the group decided to retire for teh night ans sleep. Probably good for us because this is getting fuckin terrible. 398


"This will be one fun party." JewelBeemon said as they held their hand up.
Chapter 7


"I got this one." Mimi said with Palmon when they digivolved to Togemon but them they blew up on Palmon and killed them. Mimi cried.
The next day the group was walking across a fucking desert like how I did when I was banging the universe. “jesus oh my go. This fucking sucks I want to get to a new plae bithces.” Mimi was saying and eveyetrhig agreed with her ever. Sudden;y Izzy had gotten a clue to were teh fuck Atlantis was.
"Togemon's here. No wait Togemon's dead." Tentomon said and cried a small tear. All the digimon digivolved and Tentomon's evolved form Kabuterimon destroyed all the Numemon.


"Hey your Devimon is still stronger than our Devimon. But JewelBeemon is worth 6 Devimon's and I am worth fifteen Devimon's." Ken was telling them in excitement.
“Wow that was epic.” He said as if he had watched a porn video lol. Thwat was when it happened. That hell go here go hell come go.


"I am a bitch. Ken hates me." JewelBeemon said and the started blowing shit up and annoying everybody with their Trump talks.
It was when they had found gothic village get it cuss im gothic and preps are scary as dogshit. The they say that thway babies were al over the place there. Oh get your fucking heads ot of teh fucking gutter not the babies that uhumas have coming oyt of their ass. i mean the babies like i digimon babies.
Anyways the group taled to the birds and they all said that they served in the illuminati. “Oh my fucking goda the
illuminati gave bith to me.” Sora as aid as and was as excited. Suddn there was attack. From torch human fantatic 4four4.


Then when JewelBeemon was done they blew up Kabuterimon. Greymon blew themselves up to defeat JewelBeemon but failed. JewelBeemon pumbled Garurumon into submission. Then they destroyed Birdramon with their fire powers bounced back at them.
“Oh my fucking god I thought we weren’t going to do ayny ccross.” Mimi said as there was avideo being recorderd of them from the princiapla na of Pokemon Ranger Shadow and Of Alima.
Afterwards they destroyed Ikkakumon by sending their torpedoes back at them before they exploded.


"That was easy." Ken said and then T.K. came with a crazy power level.
“Guys lets follow the dende bat car.” One of teh baby said and they followed te like good kids and eventually reached the boat of the titanatic and they dhi thin there and then sudde happen.
Humus Touch had reachd the boat and startef fire and then Biyommon had enoygh had.


"HOLY SHIT! IT'S OVER 9000!" Ken yelled and threw his digivice down. Then he threw a grenade at JewelBeemon and blew them up as they were asking why Ken did that.
“Byomn epicly fail to Birdraon an have pron.” Biyomon now Birdramon yelled and then tehy sho fre and dogdhit at the hu to and the defeated it becaue it was weak as ashit lol. Then th h t left the group and they celebreated their victory by eating shitty as your face food lol. Then tehy stayed teh night llol. 336

"Because you're annoying and I want to fight him." Ken then took out a read lightsaber and had a duel with T.K. that brought them through the mountains and through all the plains. It ended when T.K. sliced at Ken's back and Ken felt awful for it.

"Fuck off." Ken told T.K. and the group celebrated their victory.

"We don't ever have to see him alive." Mimi was saying happily and then Ken muttered that they were going to see him in the next story arc.

Second Arc:

The group found Gennai walking up to them. "Our digimon are dead." Tai cried and Gennai laughed so hard you thought he was going to start coughing.

"Seriously you can't see the eggs you fucking idiots!?" Gennai pointed down at the ground and the eggs were all there. "Well besides Angemon. They're totally gone."

"Anyways there is a quest. To make digimon more powerful, you must find the tags." Gennai explained and then left. "Find them in a place called Server." He added in as a last second message.

"Let's do it." T.K. was saying like he was the leader. Then Joe got a Jeremy Renner face which scared the living fuck out of him. T.K. then left again like he does in every story arc.

The group started to go Sever and reached their by plot devices. Once there they found a evil digimon over lord. "My name is Etemon and I will stick around for fucking ever."

They started to play horrible rap music and Sora wanted to scream due to how awful it was.

Some bunny digimon found them and fought them. "These are harder than I thought." T.K. said as he fought them since he was the only who could do anything now. After the fight Tai got his tag and his egg hatched.

The group walked into a empty house. "I'm gay and adopted." Izzy confessed to the group and they really couldn't care less. Matt laughed in rejection to show he was not going to date him.

Afterwards the group slept and then Joe snuck out and reached a stadium. Tai came to him. "If you fuck up I have to fight in your place." Tai admitted and then the rest of the group came in. "Shit. I was wanting to make out with you." Tai said to nobody in particular.

Then Etemon came on screen. "Please don't." Etemon requested and then snapped their finger. A evil Greymon came in. Tai had Agumon become Greymon and fought the evil one. Joe found his tag under a field goal. Tai wanted to use his tag but it didn't work and he got a giant angry Godzilla rip off. They ripped other Greymon up and started to tear the place apart.

"God damn it Nappa." Etemon was saying and nobody got the joke. Then Ken came in with a different outfit from his evil one.

"I got a fire in my ass!" Ken yelled as he shot a giant beam wave out of his hands.

"WOW! When did this turn into DBZ?" Mimi asked in utter confusion and Ken defeated angry Greymon and they became Agumon again. After Joe picked up his tag his egg hatched.

"Etemon is fucking evil and I hate you all but I hate Etemon more so for now which later translates to the rest of the story I will be working with you." Ken told them and they started walking.

They found a treehouse which was Piximon's and they got a bit of training. Izzy got his tag and his egg hatched. Piximon then reveals a prophecy.

"You save the world. You guys digivolve. Angemon dies. T.K. is jedi. Davis and Daemon team up. Four horsemen rip offs will be evil later. Somebody dies I guess. Female Angemon comes in." Piximon pretty much gave the prophecy as bluntly as that. The group left the place.

That night the group was asleep when Matt was at a lake. He put his head in for no real reason. There was vision. "Oh my god what the fuck is happening?" Matt asked when he realized his dad used to be awesome and fought the D-Reaper until he married his mother who was over thirty years younger than him.

Matt pulled his head out of the water and saw Sora taking a swim. He had the largest boner ever.

Meanwhile with T.K. he was at a priory. He met Bearmon who told him he was special. Then he went to a dark world and saved Shoutmon and saved a village and then did some training met his friend named Davis and apologized to Yolei and said hi to Cody and his mother and his father and then came back to digital world and the went to Metal City to tell them of the invasion and then he fought Valkyrimon and won although he almost died while Shoutmon fought Dagomon and defeated them but lost their own life. T.K. then decided to take Bearmon and introduce them to the group.

While that happened the group found a boat. "Free spa you know you love it." The sign said and the group walked in to get in the spa. Everybody got naked and there was a large fucking digidestined orgy. Which unlike a Sonic orgy where you burn the whole fucker down you record the whole fucker.

Then a chicken digimon came in but then Mimi told them fuck off and defeated them somehow and she got her tag and her digimon hatched into Palmon again.

"That was the most hot thing I had ever dealt with in my entire life." Joe was saying as the whole group agreed.

Then they walked into Mines of Moria rip off. "This is so dark and brody." Matt was saying in his best attempt to be edgy. Then the group found a book that told them get out. So they left but after fighting Balrog rip off and then Matt got his tag and egg to hatch. I just realized that the Izzy and Matt tag find were in reverse.

Anyways the group found T.K. and he led them to Metal City where he introduced them to the massively dick like council. They rejected them so they had to doe the fight all alone.

The group found a large digimon that looked like Datamon and then they said. "My name is Datamon. How are you gentlemen? All your tags are belong to us." Then Tai told them fuck off and Greymon digivolved to MetalGreymon with their tag and then defeated Datamon but they were sent to earth. Sora got her tag and her egg hatched.

Ken and T.K. fought Etemon and Etemon had killed Ken who was saying that the reason Ken was evil was because Sam died and there was a digimon that took his mind over and no matter how much he wanted to chance he just couldn't. "You changed yourself. You are redeemed." T.K. said his forgiveness before Ken died. Then he had a five hour long fight with Etemon and then killed him eventually. Then after the group had won they reached the council again.

"You will be granted any wish you so damn well please." Gallantmon the head of council said.

"We wish for Ken to be revived." Tai submitted the wish as the leader and Ken was revived now as a good team member.

"We won't train him." Gallantmon told Gennai who said that he was the best hope. "Find but just you." Gallantmon gave in and there was a celebration.

"Where did Ignitemon and Bearmon go?" Mimi asked in utter confusion and they agreed to let it go. They won't be showing up again lol.

Third Arc:

This is the digimon equal to Cell Saga. So of course expect a shit ton of time travel stories and weird ass stuff that makes no fucking sense.

The group left the Metal City building and started walking around to just enjoy the scenery. "Wow this is better than any fucking Zack fucking Snyder film." Mimi was saying as she was looking at everything. Joe had a boner from her because she was hot and he had lust.

"Can we please make a fucking movie?" Izzy asked wanting to be useful for once.

Suddenly the group found a city and a church. "Let's study religion in this fucking hell hole." Ken decided and the group walked inside. Once inside they saw a wedding getting ready.

"Fuck me Mimi." Dukemon said the milisecond they saw her. There was a wedding thing and the group tried their best to save Mimi while Ken was breaking the secret of the fake money there. Matt fought Dukemon who almost killed him lol. T.K. fought off the guards while the other group members were saving Mimi and getting the fake money out and burning it.

Without any sort of resolution, Matt woke up a few days later and saw that only Ken was there with him. They started to walk away and found a place the group was at later.

It was a place ruled by Myotismon oops that is the villain here. So then the group fought their minions and suddenly found a gate to Earth. So suddenly they went inside with Myotismon soon following.

"We must defeat them." T.K. pointed out the perfectly obvious when they were in a meeting.

"Let's do our own shit to do it." Sora decided and the group split up seven ways.

Meanwhile T.K.'s wheelchaired bound friend Davis found Daemon. Who was secretly a villain prior but soon won't be.

"Davis let's join forces." Daemon suggested as Davis was confused.

"Aren't we enemies?"

"That was a hundred and twenty years ago and besides nobody read Digimon Origins." Daemon said and the two teamed up.

Sora saved a light house from elephants and her mother died from a fire digimon but it was okay since her tag of love glowed when she died. Then she met a gross greasy guy who worked at the lighthouse even though he looked like he was working at fast food and hadn't ever taken care of his acne since he was nineteen and flipped burgers for ten dollars a day and he was like thirty on top of it. "This is how I like my men." Sora said while she was aroused as fuck.

As that happened Izzy met Davis while with Tentomon and Davis was with Daemon. Davis explained how there was a villain that was the killer of Sam named Owikawa (or the ten thousandth Eddie in the expanded universe). Then Davis explained how he went back in time when he was first born because Davis was fighting a digimon called who gives a shit to spell it mon. Then he grew up here and then was now evil to get back to his time line. Daemon is a enemy before because Davis made this world you know as the digital world when he was only a stupid young adult and Daemon wanted me to die but now they are team mates. So now with all that aside, Izzy felt mind fucked. Then Myotismon came in and broke his back like how Zoom did and he was put in his bedroom bed to recover. Owikawa came in and injected a poison into him. When he walked out of the room, Izzy died in a matter of just minutes from the poison.

Elsewhere, Ken had a epic fight. He created a digimon called BlackWarGreymon and had a fight with it and shit. They nearly destroyed most of the city and many people fucker died lol. Then Ken did some shit and took a rest at Tai's house. Tai's mother went into labor and while dealing with BlackWarGreymon he was leading her to the hospital. Once there he did some great power up and used his power up to attack and defeat BlackWarGreymon. He then fell down onto the hospital bed. The labor was completed and the baby was a girl named Kari. As a reward for his hard work, Tai's father gave him a new set of clothes. His winter outfit. Saying that it is his gift to him and said that when Kari is old enough, if Ken was single, he would be more than honored for him to marry Kari. Which surprised Ken since he was like twenty now.

Afterwards, Ken walked to Susan by. "Hey how is you?"

"I have a son Ken." Susan said and then told him who he was. "He is three years old now. You are the father. His name is Lucas Harold Ichijouji."

"I want to help raise him." Ken said and she agreed to let him help her. Which mean that Ken was now a father figure.

Elsewhere, Mimi was at the park. She talked about how she gets off on death and how she wants to die so she can get off twenty ties over. Then she talked about how she likes really old ass dudes. Then she fought a digimon and went home where she found out her father was a sperm donor. He has like a hundred offsprings lol that fucking idiot.

Elsewhere, Jim Joe's older brother met his friends from the past again. Their names were Koji, Takuya, Zoe and Tommy. He then confronted his girlfriend and found that she was pregnant lol. His group of ex friends decided to write out the events of their life in a story.

Elsewhere, Matt sucked and then found Davis and Daemon who explained there was a rewrite they needed to do. So Davis used a plot convient time machine to go back in time and restart this. Or at least enough time to prevent Izzy from dying and shit. But still somehow keep the events of Kari being born and him learning of his son. It's fucking confusing.

Then afterwards all the group got in a meeting and decided they needed to be more careful now with Matt using his first timeline knowledge to convince them. "Yeah that shit never works." When asked about his wheelchair, Davis explains that he was hit by a car lol and had permanent knee paralysis.

The group did better this second run at least. Davis had his friend Cody come over and he became the Concador. Which is a hero lol. He did some hero like stuff and save the day. "I feel good." Cody said and Davis responded with good. Matt found out about Eddie and his story and was confused as fuck since he was related to Matt which was all like DBZ and shit. T.K. saved a coperate building called Ford INC with the most beautiful monologue ever written.
"I fucking miss you son and I wish that you were there to see your mothers death and I feel terrible. Please come home with me and you can see like your twenty trillion brothers again." Gallantmon begged the head of Ford INC.
"Fine I will join." The head of Ford INC said and Gallantmon went to his wives grave and his wife was named Jeri.

T.K. got praise from Gennai and Gallantmon for exceeding their expectations. T.K. walked around until he found a woman. Her name was Lily or some generic bullshit. They fell in love and they made out like fucking fuck. They were also blushing worse than fucking porn. T.K. had a nineteen inch boner and she felt it. They had sex.

Elsewhere Davis wrote a letter to a woman named Yolei declaring his love. He talked to her about everything and how much lust he had for her even though she's like twenty and he is nearly five hundred.

A Myotismon servant named Wizardmon met a woman named Julie and fell in love with her. They were a great couple. Wizardmon X Julie for fucking ever. Then Myotismon killed Julie and Wizardmon wanted revenge. So he trained with Gennai and started to go up Radio Tower.

Skip to the battle of Radio Tower. Davis confessed his creation of digital world creating while standing up despite his paralysis like Pearl Harbor and Yolei came in and made out with him as hot as fuck. They started to take off their clothes quickly and stuff. Everybody left besides Daemon who recorded and made a sex tape out of it.

Radio Tower battle happened. Nothing matters in it besides Joe and Mimi kissing and shit, Izzy nearly dying again but not, Cody being extra epic, Sora falling in love again with somebody, Wizardmon killing Myotismon after getting shot by lady Angemon arrows like the prophecy and him being more crippled than a movie hero at the end and him going to Julie's grave spot and said that he did it, then climaxing in Eddie confessing his crimes to Ken and nearly killing him but Matt killed himself to erase Eddie from ever happening. "PINGAS!" Matt yelled as his last words and a couple years later that would become Robotnik's main line in Sonic. Matt had a funeral but who cares.

Ten months later shit happened again with fourth story arc. Finally we only have one fucking act left Jesus fucking Christ. The group got sent to the digital world to wipe it up.

Fourth Arc:

The group was in the digital world where they saw the Horsemen rip off. "MetalSeadramon, Puppetmon, Machinedramon, and of course the super fabulous Piedmon." The leader Piedmon was saying and then the group was forced to split up like a terrible action movie.

"I fucking hate these villains. I want to finally have a ending to this god damn story." Izzy was saying as he was was beginning to show his fatigue of this story much like how everybody else was.

First defeat was when Ken had found MetalSeadramon. "Hey Ken I thought you were evil." MetalSeadramon said and Ken blew his loads all over their inside.

"Not after I helped them defeat Etemon and Myotismon and started to raise my son. I am the only character in this god damn abridged parody that has even the tiniest ounce of character development!" Ken yelled and then started to walk away. There was a explosion as he walked away. Suddenly a gun was in his hands. Making it totally like Shadow the Hedgehog. "Plus, I'm ten times more bad ass now."

"Is this ever going to be expanded on at any moment?" A voice over the story asked and Ken held up his hands and made himself look even more bad ass. Now imagine this pose and replace him with Shadow the Hedgehog. Now you have the cover of that fucking game.

The second one that was defeated was Puppetmon. "I love war you motherfuckers!" Puppetmon yelled in a high pitched voice that literally everybody fucking ever heard.

"What are we going to do?" Tai asked in a Jay and Silent Bob type of way as the group found their funny play house as Puupetmon liked to call it.

"This is super odd." T.K. said as he looked around and realized that their house was like a control room of what the digidestined were doing at the moment. Which really made no sense the more you think about it. But he turned off the button and it failed now.

"No you sons of a bitches!" Puppetmon yelled ans shot their guns and hit everybody two or three times and it was a miracle they were still alive after that. "I need to fucking win."

"I am Sora and I am fucking tired of this shit." Sora said and she had Biyomon digivolve to her ultimate form and they started to burn Puppetmon.

"Besides, I need to have something to do in this story to show how awesome I am and to show that I deserve to win somebody." Sora was saying and she took her hat off. Then she threw it on the ground which was to declare that she was a now independent woman.

"But my trash hasn't been taken out." Puppetmon shot out their trash from their you know what and everybody felt gross watching digimon climax. Then Kabuterimon burned them and then Joe with his Ikkakumon harpoon torpedo.

"Nobody cares at all about your trash and you are even more stupid than I thought you were if you think I do." Joe was telling Puppetmon when they were finally dead.

Afterwards Mimi decided to leave because she had become a fucking prep and didn't want to deal with the whole fighting anymore. Joe joined her where he said that he loved her and she said that she liked him but she was a bitch and they didn't get together for the time being which made Joe cry. "This whole thing is just so stupid and ridiculous. I just wished there was a single thing that made at least a tiny fucking lick of sense."

"Believe me I think everybody is totally lost in this one. Just as much as you are." Joe was telling Mimi as a supporter and then put his hands on her back like he was trying to provide support for her.

Sudden a metal digimon came in and then fought them but then Joe and Mimi were sincere so their tags glowed and their partners became ultimate form. Leomon came in and Leomon died like usual and Ogremon cried. Joe and his partner killed the metal digimon and Mimi decided to give him a kiss in victory.

"Don't you think that that digimon looked a awful lot like Etemon? Whatever Etemon is already dead so there is no way that it is them. Maybe I am just going crazy." Mimi was saying and Joe looked at her as if that was already well shown.

"We should try and find the group again." Joe decided when he realized that he liked the company of everybody more overall.

Izzy was walking around and fell into a hole.

"Oh great now I am fucking Alice in Fucking Wonderland." Izzy was saying as he was wiping his dust off of him. He hated that god damn movie because none of it was gothic or cool to him.

In the hole he was working on a design for a dragon. "This must be my moment of glory." He was telling himself the entire time he was working on it. He was just sure of it.

The design was complete after what was probably hundreds of hours and even more hundreds of hours to make the actual dragon and the dragon was made. He then used the dragon to fly him out and flew to a pyramid. There he fought another dragon and with his dragon and his new digivolution from knowledge shit, he defeated the dragon.

"I thought I had a original idea when I made that dragon. I guess I don't. But I showed that my fucking dragon is better than that fucking dragon. So it doesn't matter." Izzy said as he patted his dragon happily. Then the dragon flew him in the direction of the group.

When this was happening Tai and Sora found a metal city. Not the same as Metal City. Don't ask... just don't.

"Wow this looks like a horrible dystopia. Still better to be in than the world of Pokemon." Tai was saying as he was checking out how awful it was. It was mainly awful because some houses were taken down.

Sudden Machinedramon showed up.

"God fucking damn it. Can we have like one damn moment without a battle? This is getting annoying." Sora complained when she realized this was yet another battle. Tai had courage and Sora had love so their partners digivolved when they found Machinedramon and helped destroy it when Andromon came in.

"I go you stay no follow." Andromon said and then went to Machinedramon and blew themselves up as a heroic give up. Like if you cried every time.

"That was over climatic." Tai said in sadness and then the group started walking back to where everybody was.

On top of the evil mountain T.K. found Piedmon.

"You are the final asshole to defeat. I can't fucking wait." T.K. said and he took out his lightsaber ripoff while Piedmon took out old style swords.

"I will kill everybody in this digital world. Then once I do it I will make a new world and then try to make it the best to my vision." Piedmon gave off every cliche villain ever as Piedmon made a cut on T.K.'s arm. But then T.K. hit back and that started their sword fight. T.K. sliced Piedmon in half. "That is what you fucking get for being clown Hitler." T.K. told Piedmon and then there was a victory dance. He was just so happy they had won. He traveled back to the group and there was a moment of pure happiness.

"We had come so far and grown so much. Lets never forget this damn adventure." Ken said and made a final toast. Most of them talked as if the events of Matt had never happened. The group went back to human world and partied. Let's just say that it was a total miracle that these people managed to avoid getting arrested for the shit that they had done when they were having their party. Now this story will forever go down in historical archives as the greatest thing fucking ever.

Several years later

There is a epilogue. Davis and Yolei married and had a shit ton of babies among the mix only like one or two was a girl. Joe and somebody got together Mimi, Sora, or Sarah, take your pick and they had twin boys. Cody became famous and published the script to a movie called The Concador. He never got married or had offsprings but dated tons of women. Both ten years younger and ten years older. Tai became a person who worked at a job and became good at it. He might have had an offspring. T.K. married somebody after he settled down from his extreme horniness and playerness. He had a son named Trent. Ken and Kari married and Ken told her about his son who was older than her and they ended up having a daughter that is now two months old. Mimi or Sora or whoever Joe didn't end up with became a fashion chick or so stupid ass occupation and really rich so that ended up well I guess. Everybody was happy and worshipped their adventure like the fucking bible.

Scary Reveal

In Davis's bedroom with Daemon (right after the Myotismon battle), Daemon pressed red button on the wheelchair and the Davis in there fell asleep. Showing that the Davis we knew was actually just a clone. Daemon took off their hood and revealed himself to be the real Davis. The difference was that this one had no face. Meaning that his head was just that. He had no eyes or mouth or ears or nose or hair. Literally nothing. "I am God." Davis said and it was then a pretty obvious give away that he was actually the main villain this whole entire story.
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Latest revision as of 15:31, 5 January 2023

  NSFW WARNING

This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations.
...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

This is a parody of the original TV show with everyone being an adult now. I hope you enjoy this. Thanks for reading. Written by YoloSwag1



Prologue

One day in 2018 two older men were in one of their house. No this isn't yaoi. Their names were T.K. and Joe, ages forty two and forty six respectively. They were talking about their camping story.

"Oh my god I don't want to talk about it though because it was all dark and gothic." T.K. whined like a preppy bitch. Joe took his glasses off all sexily.

"Baby... I mean T.K., stop being a fucking pervert and fantasizing over Sora's daughter." Joe said and T.K. got a confused look on his face.

"So you want me to fantasize over Sora? Like when we knew her?"

"Ew no that would mean that you were fantasizing over a nineteen year old." Joe refused and T.K. pounded his head against the wall.

"Jesus christ. Can we stop talking about what I fantasize over and do something productive?" T.K. found a empty notebook and started to write. "How about we write of our adventures at the digital world?"

Joe agreed and promised that was the last pervert joke he would make.

First Arc:

Ken woke up and found a paper. "Sam died lol."

"Fuck." Ken said and then the swear counter went to explosion. Wow and he wasn't even twenty-one yet.

Ken walks to Susan's house and cries. "I fucking love you." Ken declared and they got naked and had wild sex. They forgot protection so she got pregnant.

The next morning Ken walks to home but then sees a man in a purple jacket. "Time to go to my world." He said in inserted a evil in his brain and threw him in a vortex.

Four Years Later

Devimon started flying by and saw a small digimon. "Bye bye." Devimon said and then snapped their fingers and exploded the digimon.

"Can you find Patamon?" Devimon asked a new digimon called Ignitemon.

"No." Ignitemon said and Devimon left them alone thinking they were useless.

Meanwhile at Earth, Joe was on a date. "I love you Sarah." Joe confessed and they kissed. "Want to date?"

"Fuck off." Sarah said and then Joe went home.

"She rejected me." Joe said and ran away to summer camp.

"What is your age?" Eric the head guy asked and Joe said twenty. "Then you can raise these people for a while."

"Matt is 23, Tai and Sora are nineteen, Izzy and Mimi are 20, and T.K. is twenty-one." Joe read and then went to the cabin.

"Let's go on a adventure." Joe told them and then a wave came in and sucked them in.

In a odd world, the group woke up. "We are digimon." Tai's digimon said and then introduced. "I am dinosaur. Gabumon is emo dog. Biyomon is pink bird for LGBT. Tentomon is smart bug. Palmon is living plant. Gomamon is a seal. Patamon is useless."

After this short introduction, Devimon showed up. "I am evil. I am looking for my son."

"Am I your son?" Patamon asked and Devimon said yes. Shocked reactions went everywhere and the group nearly wet their pants.

"I will be taking you." Devimon said and grabbed Patamon. Somebody screamed and ran up to save them but got bitched slapped.

Ignitemon flew in right afterwards.

"I will help you." Ignitemon said and then everybody looked confused.

"I wasn't in the original show but this isn't like the show so it doesn't matter." Ignitemon reminded them and the group started to run to find Devimon.

After several hours of straight up running they found Devimon doing gross stuff to Patamon.

"Hold them tight." Patamon said and then digivolved to Angemon. They held Devimon in a full nelson.

"FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!!!!" Ignitemon yelled as they shot a powerful attack at them and killed them.

"Double kill." The narrator yelled and then there was a thing next to Devimon that started speaking.

"Oh look a new fucking threat. Let's take care of that." Ken who was now evil said this through the small thing that started to speak.

"We have to train." Sora said in a annoyed voice. T.K. left the group for no reason whatsoever.

In the several weeks it took for Ken and their helper JewelBeemon to show up, the group started training like crazy with Ignitemon. "I am a creepy digimon and a potential porn dealer. But I won't ever admit that to you." Ignitemon said and then the training began. The group all had their digimon digivolve and they had new power levels like high.

With T,K. he trained with a man named Gennai. "You need to master the worstbending." Gennai told T.K. and gave him a lightsaber that was a blue one. After all this crazy training T.K. reached a new high level. It had made Matt jealous and Mimi want to get in his pants. He climbed up a mountain and shit and saved some digimon from a dark world and a evil digimon called Dagomon. Oh wait that didn't happen yet sorry.

Ken was with JewelBeemon and they dealt with bugs that tried to seduce them. "I will be your slave if you become my prison bitch." The bug offered to Ken and he screamed as he yelled at them to fuck off. "NO ONE GETS MY DICK BESIDES SUSAN!!!!!" Ken held his arms up like Vegeta when he yelled this exact chant.

Eventually Ken found the group and laughed at how weak they were. "Really your power level is only like 1,500? Whatever." Ken snapped his hand and then a couple garbage digimon popped up. They were Numemon and around five in all. "These all have the same power level of Devimon."

"This will be one fun party." JewelBeemon said as they held their hand up.

"I got this one." Mimi said with Palmon when they digivolved to Togemon but them they blew up on Palmon and killed them. Mimi cried. "Togemon's here. No wait Togemon's dead." Tentomon said and cried a small tear. All the digimon digivolved and Tentomon's evolved form Kabuterimon destroyed all the Numemon.

"Hey your Devimon is still stronger than our Devimon. But JewelBeemon is worth 6 Devimon's and I am worth fifteen Devimon's." Ken was telling them in excitement.

"I am a bitch. Ken hates me." JewelBeemon said and the started blowing shit up and annoying everybody with their Trump talks.

Then when JewelBeemon was done they blew up Kabuterimon. Greymon blew themselves up to defeat JewelBeemon but failed. JewelBeemon pumbled Garurumon into submission. Then they destroyed Birdramon with their fire powers bounced back at them. Afterwards they destroyed Ikkakumon by sending their torpedoes back at them before they exploded.

"That was easy." Ken said and then T.K. came with a crazy power level.

"HOLY SHIT! IT'S OVER 9000!" Ken yelled and threw his digivice down. Then he threw a grenade at JewelBeemon and blew them up as they were asking why Ken did that.

"Because you're annoying and I want to fight him." Ken then took out a read lightsaber and had a duel with T.K. that brought them through the mountains and through all the plains. It ended when T.K. sliced at Ken's back and Ken felt awful for it.

"Fuck off." Ken told T.K. and the group celebrated their victory.

"We don't ever have to see him alive." Mimi was saying happily and then Ken muttered that they were going to see him in the next story arc.

Second Arc:

The group found Gennai walking up to them. "Our digimon are dead." Tai cried and Gennai laughed so hard you thought he was going to start coughing.

"Seriously you can't see the eggs you fucking idiots!?" Gennai pointed down at the ground and the eggs were all there. "Well besides Angemon. They're totally gone."

"Anyways there is a quest. To make digimon more powerful, you must find the tags." Gennai explained and then left. "Find them in a place called Server." He added in as a last second message.

"Let's do it." T.K. was saying like he was the leader. Then Joe got a Jeremy Renner face which scared the living fuck out of him. T.K. then left again like he does in every story arc.

The group started to go Sever and reached their by plot devices. Once there they found a evil digimon over lord. "My name is Etemon and I will stick around for fucking ever."

They started to play horrible rap music and Sora wanted to scream due to how awful it was.

Some bunny digimon found them and fought them. "These are harder than I thought." T.K. said as he fought them since he was the only who could do anything now. After the fight Tai got his tag and his egg hatched.

The group walked into a empty house. "I'm gay and adopted." Izzy confessed to the group and they really couldn't care less. Matt laughed in rejection to show he was not going to date him.

Afterwards the group slept and then Joe snuck out and reached a stadium. Tai came to him. "If you fuck up I have to fight in your place." Tai admitted and then the rest of the group came in. "Shit. I was wanting to make out with you." Tai said to nobody in particular.

Then Etemon came on screen. "Please don't." Etemon requested and then snapped their finger. A evil Greymon came in. Tai had Agumon become Greymon and fought the evil one. Joe found his tag under a field goal. Tai wanted to use his tag but it didn't work and he got a giant angry Godzilla rip off. They ripped other Greymon up and started to tear the place apart.

"God damn it Nappa." Etemon was saying and nobody got the joke. Then Ken came in with a different outfit from his evil one.

"I got a fire in my ass!" Ken yelled as he shot a giant beam wave out of his hands.

"WOW! When did this turn into DBZ?" Mimi asked in utter confusion and Ken defeated angry Greymon and they became Agumon again. After Joe picked up his tag his egg hatched.

"Etemon is fucking evil and I hate you all but I hate Etemon more so for now which later translates to the rest of the story I will be working with you." Ken told them and they started walking.

They found a treehouse which was Piximon's and they got a bit of training. Izzy got his tag and his egg hatched. Piximon then reveals a prophecy.

"You save the world. You guys digivolve. Angemon dies. T.K. is jedi. Davis and Daemon team up. Four horsemen rip offs will be evil later. Somebody dies I guess. Female Angemon comes in." Piximon pretty much gave the prophecy as bluntly as that. The group left the place.

That night the group was asleep when Matt was at a lake. He put his head in for no real reason. There was vision. "Oh my god what the fuck is happening?" Matt asked when he realized his dad used to be awesome and fought the D-Reaper until he married his mother who was over thirty years younger than him.

Matt pulled his head out of the water and saw Sora taking a swim. He had the largest boner ever.

Meanwhile with T.K. he was at a priory. He met Bearmon who told him he was special. Then he went to a dark world and saved Shoutmon and saved a village and then did some training met his friend named Davis and apologized to Yolei and said hi to Cody and his mother and his father and then came back to digital world and the went to Metal City to tell them of the invasion and then he fought Valkyrimon and won although he almost died while Shoutmon fought Dagomon and defeated them but lost their own life. T.K. then decided to take Bearmon and introduce them to the group.

While that happened the group found a boat. "Free spa you know you love it." The sign said and the group walked in to get in the spa. Everybody got naked and there was a large fucking digidestined orgy. Which unlike a Sonic orgy where you burn the whole fucker down you record the whole fucker.

Then a chicken digimon came in but then Mimi told them fuck off and defeated them somehow and she got her tag and her digimon hatched into Palmon again.

"That was the most hot thing I had ever dealt with in my entire life." Joe was saying as the whole group agreed.

Then they walked into Mines of Moria rip off. "This is so dark and brody." Matt was saying in his best attempt to be edgy. Then the group found a book that told them get out. So they left but after fighting Balrog rip off and then Matt got his tag and egg to hatch. I just realized that the Izzy and Matt tag find were in reverse.

Anyways the group found T.K. and he led them to Metal City where he introduced them to the massively dick like council. They rejected them so they had to doe the fight all alone.

The group found a large digimon that looked like Datamon and then they said. "My name is Datamon. How are you gentlemen? All your tags are belong to us." Then Tai told them fuck off and Greymon digivolved to MetalGreymon with their tag and then defeated Datamon but they were sent to earth. Sora got her tag and her egg hatched.

Ken and T.K. fought Etemon and Etemon had killed Ken who was saying that the reason Ken was evil was because Sam died and there was a digimon that took his mind over and no matter how much he wanted to chance he just couldn't. "You changed yourself. You are redeemed." T.K. said his forgiveness before Ken died. Then he had a five hour long fight with Etemon and then killed him eventually. Then after the group had won they reached the council again.

"You will be granted any wish you so damn well please." Gallantmon the head of council said.

"We wish for Ken to be revived." Tai submitted the wish as the leader and Ken was revived now as a good team member.

"We won't train him." Gallantmon told Gennai who said that he was the best hope. "Find but just you." Gallantmon gave in and there was a celebration.

"Where did Ignitemon and Bearmon go?" Mimi asked in utter confusion and they agreed to let it go. They won't be showing up again lol.

Third Arc:

This is the digimon equal to Cell Saga. So of course expect a shit ton of time travel stories and weird ass stuff that makes no fucking sense.

The group left the Metal City building and started walking around to just enjoy the scenery. "Wow this is better than any fucking Zack fucking Snyder film." Mimi was saying as she was looking at everything. Joe had a boner from her because she was hot and he had lust.

"Can we please make a fucking movie?" Izzy asked wanting to be useful for once.

Suddenly the group found a city and a church. "Let's study religion in this fucking hell hole." Ken decided and the group walked inside. Once inside they saw a wedding getting ready.

"Fuck me Mimi." Dukemon said the milisecond they saw her. There was a wedding thing and the group tried their best to save Mimi while Ken was breaking the secret of the fake money there. Matt fought Dukemon who almost killed him lol. T.K. fought off the guards while the other group members were saving Mimi and getting the fake money out and burning it.

Without any sort of resolution, Matt woke up a few days later and saw that only Ken was there with him. They started to walk away and found a place the group was at later.

It was a place ruled by Myotismon oops that is the villain here. So then the group fought their minions and suddenly found a gate to Earth. So suddenly they went inside with Myotismon soon following.

"We must defeat them." T.K. pointed out the perfectly obvious when they were in a meeting.

"Let's do our own shit to do it." Sora decided and the group split up seven ways.

Meanwhile T.K.'s wheelchaired bound friend Davis found Daemon. Who was secretly a villain prior but soon won't be.

"Davis let's join forces." Daemon suggested as Davis was confused.

"Aren't we enemies?"

"That was a hundred and twenty years ago and besides nobody read Digimon Origins." Daemon said and the two teamed up.

Sora saved a light house from elephants and her mother died from a fire digimon but it was okay since her tag of love glowed when she died. Then she met a gross greasy guy who worked at the lighthouse even though he looked like he was working at fast food and hadn't ever taken care of his acne since he was nineteen and flipped burgers for ten dollars a day and he was like thirty on top of it. "This is how I like my men." Sora said while she was aroused as fuck.

As that happened Izzy met Davis while with Tentomon and Davis was with Daemon. Davis explained how there was a villain that was the killer of Sam named Owikawa (or the ten thousandth Eddie in the expanded universe). Then Davis explained how he went back in time when he was first born because Davis was fighting a digimon called who gives a shit to spell it mon. Then he grew up here and then was now evil to get back to his time line. Daemon is a enemy before because Davis made this world you know as the digital world when he was only a stupid young adult and Daemon wanted me to die but now they are team mates. So now with all that aside, Izzy felt mind fucked. Then Myotismon came in and broke his back like how Zoom did and he was put in his bedroom bed to recover. Owikawa came in and injected a poison into him. When he walked out of the room, Izzy died in a matter of just minutes from the poison.

Elsewhere, Ken had a epic fight. He created a digimon called BlackWarGreymon and had a fight with it and shit. They nearly destroyed most of the city and many people fucker died lol. Then Ken did some shit and took a rest at Tai's house. Tai's mother went into labor and while dealing with BlackWarGreymon he was leading her to the hospital. Once there he did some great power up and used his power up to attack and defeat BlackWarGreymon. He then fell down onto the hospital bed. The labor was completed and the baby was a girl named Kari. As a reward for his hard work, Tai's father gave him a new set of clothes. His winter outfit. Saying that it is his gift to him and said that when Kari is old enough, if Ken was single, he would be more than honored for him to marry Kari. Which surprised Ken since he was like twenty now.

Afterwards, Ken walked to Susan by. "Hey how is you?"

"I have a son Ken." Susan said and then told him who he was. "He is three years old now. You are the father. His name is Lucas Harold Ichijouji."

"I want to help raise him." Ken said and she agreed to let him help her. Which mean that Ken was now a father figure.

Elsewhere, Mimi was at the park. She talked about how she gets off on death and how she wants to die so she can get off twenty ties over. Then she talked about how she likes really old ass dudes. Then she fought a digimon and went home where she found out her father was a sperm donor. He has like a hundred offsprings lol that fucking idiot.

Elsewhere, Jim Joe's older brother met his friends from the past again. Their names were Koji, Takuya, Zoe and Tommy. He then confronted his girlfriend and found that she was pregnant lol. His group of ex friends decided to write out the events of their life in a story.

Elsewhere, Matt sucked and then found Davis and Daemon who explained there was a rewrite they needed to do. So Davis used a plot convient time machine to go back in time and restart this. Or at least enough time to prevent Izzy from dying and shit. But still somehow keep the events of Kari being born and him learning of his son. It's fucking confusing.

Then afterwards all the group got in a meeting and decided they needed to be more careful now with Matt using his first timeline knowledge to convince them. "Yeah that shit never works." When asked about his wheelchair, Davis explains that he was hit by a car lol and had permanent knee paralysis.

The group did better this second run at least. Davis had his friend Cody come over and he became the Concador. Which is a hero lol. He did some hero like stuff and save the day. "I feel good." Cody said and Davis responded with good. Matt found out about Eddie and his story and was confused as fuck since he was related to Matt which was all like DBZ and shit. T.K. saved a coperate building called Ford INC with the most beautiful monologue ever written. "I fucking miss you son and I wish that you were there to see your mothers death and I feel terrible. Please come home with me and you can see like your twenty trillion brothers again." Gallantmon begged the head of Ford INC. "Fine I will join." The head of Ford INC said and Gallantmon went to his wives grave and his wife was named Jeri.

T.K. got praise from Gennai and Gallantmon for exceeding their expectations. T.K. walked around until he found a woman. Her name was Lily or some generic bullshit. They fell in love and they made out like fucking fuck. They were also blushing worse than fucking porn. T.K. had a nineteen inch boner and she felt it. They had sex.

Elsewhere Davis wrote a letter to a woman named Yolei declaring his love. He talked to her about everything and how much lust he had for her even though she's like twenty and he is nearly five hundred.

A Myotismon servant named Wizardmon met a woman named Julie and fell in love with her. They were a great couple. Wizardmon X Julie for fucking ever. Then Myotismon killed Julie and Wizardmon wanted revenge. So he trained with Gennai and started to go up Radio Tower.

Skip to the battle of Radio Tower. Davis confessed his creation of digital world creating while standing up despite his paralysis like Pearl Harbor and Yolei came in and made out with him as hot as fuck. They started to take off their clothes quickly and stuff. Everybody left besides Daemon who recorded and made a sex tape out of it.

Radio Tower battle happened. Nothing matters in it besides Joe and Mimi kissing and shit, Izzy nearly dying again but not, Cody being extra epic, Sora falling in love again with somebody, Wizardmon killing Myotismon after getting shot by lady Angemon arrows like the prophecy and him being more crippled than a movie hero at the end and him going to Julie's grave spot and said that he did it, then climaxing in Eddie confessing his crimes to Ken and nearly killing him but Matt killed himself to erase Eddie from ever happening. "PINGAS!" Matt yelled as his last words and a couple years later that would become Robotnik's main line in Sonic. Matt had a funeral but who cares.

Ten months later shit happened again with fourth story arc. Finally we only have one fucking act left Jesus fucking Christ. The group got sent to the digital world to wipe it up.

Fourth Arc:

The group was in the digital world where they saw the Horsemen rip off. "MetalSeadramon, Puppetmon, Machinedramon, and of course the super fabulous Piedmon." The leader Piedmon was saying and then the group was forced to split up like a terrible action movie.

"I fucking hate these villains. I want to finally have a ending to this god damn story." Izzy was saying as he was was beginning to show his fatigue of this story much like how everybody else was.

First defeat was when Ken had found MetalSeadramon. "Hey Ken I thought you were evil." MetalSeadramon said and Ken blew his loads all over their inside.

"Not after I helped them defeat Etemon and Myotismon and started to raise my son. I am the only character in this god damn abridged parody that has even the tiniest ounce of character development!" Ken yelled and then started to walk away. There was a explosion as he walked away. Suddenly a gun was in his hands. Making it totally like Shadow the Hedgehog. "Plus, I'm ten times more bad ass now."

"Is this ever going to be expanded on at any moment?" A voice over the story asked and Ken held up his hands and made himself look even more bad ass. Now imagine this pose and replace him with Shadow the Hedgehog. Now you have the cover of that fucking game.

The second one that was defeated was Puppetmon. "I love war you motherfuckers!" Puppetmon yelled in a high pitched voice that literally everybody fucking ever heard.

"What are we going to do?" Tai asked in a Jay and Silent Bob type of way as the group found their funny play house as Puupetmon liked to call it.

"This is super odd." T.K. said as he looked around and realized that their house was like a control room of what the digidestined were doing at the moment. Which really made no sense the more you think about it. But he turned off the button and it failed now.

"No you sons of a bitches!" Puppetmon yelled ans shot their guns and hit everybody two or three times and it was a miracle they were still alive after that. "I need to fucking win."

"I am Sora and I am fucking tired of this shit." Sora said and she had Biyomon digivolve to her ultimate form and they started to burn Puppetmon.

"Besides, I need to have something to do in this story to show how awesome I am and to show that I deserve to win somebody." Sora was saying and she took her hat off. Then she threw it on the ground which was to declare that she was a now independent woman.

"But my trash hasn't been taken out." Puppetmon shot out their trash from their you know what and everybody felt gross watching digimon climax. Then Kabuterimon burned them and then Joe with his Ikkakumon harpoon torpedo.

"Nobody cares at all about your trash and you are even more stupid than I thought you were if you think I do." Joe was telling Puppetmon when they were finally dead.

Afterwards Mimi decided to leave because she had become a fucking prep and didn't want to deal with the whole fighting anymore. Joe joined her where he said that he loved her and she said that she liked him but she was a bitch and they didn't get together for the time being which made Joe cry. "This whole thing is just so stupid and ridiculous. I just wished there was a single thing that made at least a tiny fucking lick of sense."

"Believe me I think everybody is totally lost in this one. Just as much as you are." Joe was telling Mimi as a supporter and then put his hands on her back like he was trying to provide support for her.

Sudden a metal digimon came in and then fought them but then Joe and Mimi were sincere so their tags glowed and their partners became ultimate form. Leomon came in and Leomon died like usual and Ogremon cried. Joe and his partner killed the metal digimon and Mimi decided to give him a kiss in victory.

"Don't you think that that digimon looked a awful lot like Etemon? Whatever Etemon is already dead so there is no way that it is them. Maybe I am just going crazy." Mimi was saying and Joe looked at her as if that was already well shown.

"We should try and find the group again." Joe decided when he realized that he liked the company of everybody more overall.

Izzy was walking around and fell into a hole.

"Oh great now I am fucking Alice in Fucking Wonderland." Izzy was saying as he was wiping his dust off of him. He hated that god damn movie because none of it was gothic or cool to him.

In the hole he was working on a design for a dragon. "This must be my moment of glory." He was telling himself the entire time he was working on it. He was just sure of it.

The design was complete after what was probably hundreds of hours and even more hundreds of hours to make the actual dragon and the dragon was made. He then used the dragon to fly him out and flew to a pyramid. There he fought another dragon and with his dragon and his new digivolution from knowledge shit, he defeated the dragon.

"I thought I had a original idea when I made that dragon. I guess I don't. But I showed that my fucking dragon is better than that fucking dragon. So it doesn't matter." Izzy said as he patted his dragon happily. Then the dragon flew him in the direction of the group.

When this was happening Tai and Sora found a metal city. Not the same as Metal City. Don't ask... just don't.

"Wow this looks like a horrible dystopia. Still better to be in than the world of Pokemon." Tai was saying as he was checking out how awful it was. It was mainly awful because some houses were taken down.

Sudden Machinedramon showed up.

"God fucking damn it. Can we have like one damn moment without a battle? This is getting annoying." Sora complained when she realized this was yet another battle. Tai had courage and Sora had love so their partners digivolved when they found Machinedramon and helped destroy it when Andromon came in.

"I go you stay no follow." Andromon said and then went to Machinedramon and blew themselves up as a heroic give up. Like if you cried every time.

"That was over climatic." Tai said in sadness and then the group started walking back to where everybody was.

On top of the evil mountain T.K. found Piedmon.

"You are the final asshole to defeat. I can't fucking wait." T.K. said and he took out his lightsaber ripoff while Piedmon took out old style swords.

"I will kill everybody in this digital world. Then once I do it I will make a new world and then try to make it the best to my vision." Piedmon gave off every cliche villain ever as Piedmon made a cut on T.K.'s arm. But then T.K. hit back and that started their sword fight. T.K. sliced Piedmon in half. "That is what you fucking get for being clown Hitler." T.K. told Piedmon and then there was a victory dance. He was just so happy they had won. He traveled back to the group and there was a moment of pure happiness.

"We had come so far and grown so much. Lets never forget this damn adventure." Ken said and made a final toast. Most of them talked as if the events of Matt had never happened. The group went back to human world and partied. Let's just say that it was a total miracle that these people managed to avoid getting arrested for the shit that they had done when they were having their party. Now this story will forever go down in historical archives as the greatest thing fucking ever.

Several years later

There is a epilogue. Davis and Yolei married and had a shit ton of babies among the mix only like one or two was a girl. Joe and somebody got together Mimi, Sora, or Sarah, take your pick and they had twin boys. Cody became famous and published the script to a movie called The Concador. He never got married or had offsprings but dated tons of women. Both ten years younger and ten years older. Tai became a person who worked at a job and became good at it. He might have had an offspring. T.K. married somebody after he settled down from his extreme horniness and playerness. He had a son named Trent. Ken and Kari married and Ken told her about his son who was older than her and they ended up having a daughter that is now two months old. Mimi or Sora or whoever Joe didn't end up with became a fashion chick or so stupid ass occupation and really rich so that ended up well I guess. Everybody was happy and worshipped their adventure like the fucking bible.

Scary Reveal

In Davis's bedroom with Daemon (right after the Myotismon battle), Daemon pressed red button on the wheelchair and the Davis in there fell asleep. Showing that the Davis we knew was actually just a clone. Daemon took off their hood and revealed himself to be the real Davis. The difference was that this one had no face. Meaning that his head was just that. He had no eyes or mouth or ears or nose or hair. Literally nothing. "I am God." Davis said and it was then a pretty obvious give away that he was actually the main villain this whole entire story.

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