Evil Real Estate Agent
"Ha Ha Ha" I laughed Evilly as my villainous plot played out in a malicious manner. Ghosts started coming out of the walls and waving their ghostly arms at the other two people in the room, who had just finished signing the house buying contract.
"Oh No, you sold us a haunted house!!!" said the stupid non-Evil man who I sold the haunted house to. "How could you do this to us?!"
"You should have known not to hire an evil agent! Now you are tied to a 30-year fixed mortgage and 30 years of legally-binding hauntings!"
I grinned what I imagine was a very intimidating grin because my teeth are honestly kind of gross. I floss and everything but it doesn't seem to be helping. The dentist said I'm one of her worst patients, and not just because I sold her a ghoul-infested condo. Does anyone have any good toothpaste recommendations?
Anyway. I grinned my disgusting smile at the man and he stared at me in horror. I was shocked though when his husband grinned right back at me. "You fool!" he shouted.
"I'm not a fool my mom says I am very smart." I pouted. "You are a fool and fools drool."
"No you are a fool..." he said again. After some lengthy back and forth about who the fool is he held up the contract they had just signed.
"I tricked you! I signed your name on it! In your own blood!!!! See???" He smirked.
Sure enough there was my name. I was horrified and scared and spooked. "That's why you needed my blood??? You said it was for friendship purposes!"
He didn't answer, and instead laughed and laughed and laughed while the realization of what had just happened dawned on me. I was tied to a 30-year fixed mortgage, and worst of all, to these ghosts. And these aren't like nice cute friendly ghosts that tuck you into bed at night and give you a forehead kiss. They're MEAN ghosts!! One of them said I looked like if a turnip and a rotten banana had a baby. It really hurt my feelings.
"NOOOOOOOO!" I yelled shoutingly. The couple walked out and shut the door behind them with a loud thud.
The ghosts waved their arms and did a synchronized musical number about the many ways they are going to torture and kill me. I ran and locked myself in the bathroom and am writing this from my smartphone that can only access this site because trust me. please help me!!!! I just remembered they can move through walls, and they're wrapping up the last verse of the song...
Credited to officialmexico
| Comments • 0 |
Loading comments...
|
