Gear Reduction

It was February and cold. I didn't have much going for me because I didn't do anything. So I searched the internet on my bed. My back started hurting so I sat crisscross apple sauce. Then I got an ad. Freakin' 2 minutes long. Then I watched the video a little longer "how to make 5 tools that will find you love" and I got another ad. 15 seconds long. I just had to know the 4th tool, so I kept watching. The fourth tool was you take a rubber glove and you put it on your hand inside out so you can open a jar of pickles. Then you take it off and put it over the jar because you use the lid for tool 5. What was tool 5?? Then my back hurt when I was sitting criss cross apple sauce, so I laid back against the wall again. Then I got hungry but I hadn't eaten all day so I knew if I got up I would pass out. So I didn't get any food and soon my stomach stopped hurting. Then right before tool 5 I got another ad. 20,000,000 minutes long! Jesus why make a free adblocker if It doesn't work!! Not cool. So when I was done watching the ad a long time had passed and I was dead. But from my body as I was floating up my back stopped hurting and I saw the 5th tool. They took the lid from the pickles and put it on a different jar of pickles that had a missing lid!! My life was complete and I went to heaven.

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Credited to kbanbury 

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