Glitter and the Ghostly Gadget

Life at the "Silicon Valley", the ironically named strip joint I moonlighted at, (level 5 Janitor) was a bizarre blend of glitter, dollar bills, and lost dignity. And then, one fateful night, I found a USB drive that added a new ingredient: lunacy.

The USB, worn and sporting a logo that looked like a red laughing devil, lay forgotten under the sticky bar counter. Naturally, being a connoisseur of chaos, (that's what my mom calls me) I decided to plug it into my laptop when I got home.

The only file on it was labeled "ShakeWhatYaMamaGaveYou.txt". It contained binary code which, upon translation, said: "24 hours. Pass it on. Shake it, don't break it."

Of course, at that very moment, my laptop went dark and the USB got stuck like a stubborn piece of glitter on a sweaty dancer's, uh, arm. But I wasn't about to let a rebellious USB put a damper on my evening. I had a date with some pizza roles in the freezer.

That night, I dreamt of spectral figures gyrating on poles and a ghostly DJ chanting a countdown. I woke up feeling like I'd gone ten rounds with a mechanical bull. My laptop was still dead and the USB remained stubbornly stuck.

Over the next days, every electronic I touched started malfunctioning like a drunk customer on dollar-draft night. My microwave, my electric toothbrush, even my precious transformers collection - everything went haywire!

Now, I'm writing this on the trusty old typewriter in the club's office to later be faxed and uploaded to reddit for precious internet points.

So here's my advice: If you ever see a sketchy USB at your workplace, don't plug it in. Especially if your workplace involves disco balls and dance poles.

And to the lucky person who finds the USB that I've casually tossed on a city bus...you've been warned. Keep it far, far away from your transformers collection. Or else...

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Credited to Historical-Guess-952 

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