How My Friend Became a Zombie: Difference between revisions
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imported>Dalokohs Pootis Spencer (Created page with "Hello guys. Today I will talk about how my friend, Johnny Abatti, became a zombie. Well, he lives here, with me. I teach him to eat meat, not human brains. He wouldn't kill me...") |
imported>Dalokohs Pootis Spencer No edit summary |
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"SHOOT HER DOWN!" I yelled. He throw a shit, the shit flied and she turned around with opened mouth and... |
"SHOOT HER DOWN!" I yelled. He throw a shit, the shit flied and she turned around with opened mouth and... |
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"FIRE IN DA HOLE" Johnny yelled. I was |
"FIRE IN DA HOLE" Johnny yelled. I was watching with pride how that smelly projectile landed right into her mouth. Also, that was like scene from 2girls1cup. That is Johnny's favourite movie now. |
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Well, that shit was landed real hard, so she's been knocked out. After 3 minutes she woke up, said "YOU TWO ARE GONNA PAY FOR THIS!!!", took a bottle shard and ran into us. I grab a pipe and swung to her and... |
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See ya'! |
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...CRACK, broke her neck. I didn't want to kill her, so I landed a few drops to her mouth. She woke as a zombie and say: "What did you two did to me? WHAT? I will kill you, and e''t tout le gâteau est allé''!" she ran to me, in inhuman speed and I swung the pipe again and... |
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...CRACK, broke her neck. Unfortunately, she put her head again and jumped to me. Johnny said: "DUCK, HARVEY!" and I did what he told me. He slapped her, and she fainted. |
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"Oh, yea! New ability aquired! Falcon punch!" Johnny said. |
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"Throw her at sewer system. I heard there are crocodiles 'round them." |
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"Okay-WHOA!" Johnny shocked. |
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"What's the matter-Oh, God." I almost fainted. |
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There was some old guy that was like Johnny Abatti: a zombie. We peeked at sewer and he looked to us. Probably me, 'cause he said: "Brains! BRAINS!" |
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He swam to us, but too slow because crocodile ate him. He pointed at Johnny and said: "Come to Nevada... Follow the sewer path... Take my airboat-" |
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And he died. I said to Johnny: |
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"Well, my bud. You can go to your tribe. You'll miss me and... Come at me bro." I cried. |
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"Shhh... Don't worry, I'll always be with you. I am not leaving!" Johnny said. |
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"Really?" I asked. |
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"Yes, now we can make a sewer house. Like tree house, but just at sewers!" |
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"I can't. Sewers are too smelly." |
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"Then we need a Portal Gun-" |
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"No, you don't. We'll see it now." I aimed the gun at myself. |
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"NO-" he yelled but that was too late. I shot myself. |
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He cried over my dead body. But I came behind him and said: "Hello, imbecile! I am a Walrider now!" |
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Johnny turned his head: "Harvey, is that really you?" |
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"Yes, now we can make a house." I said happily. |
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"Can I hug you?" Johnny asked. |
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"Sure-" |
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SLAP!!! |
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"How can you do this to me, you stupid bitch? I wanted to put some air vents to replenish the smell, not to make a suicide! Great, now what? If I were you I will bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla..." he talked to Doomsday. |
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Well, that was my and his life. We're still friends. And the moral of this story is: |
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Never EVER buy things from hobos. |
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