I AIN'T AFRAID OF NO CLOWNS

SO IT REMEMBER WHEN I WAS SO MUCH YOUNGER LIKE TWO YEARS AGO SEEING DISNEY PARADES AND BEING DEATHLY AFRAID OF THE CLOWNS, SOMETIMES I'D EVEN SHIT MY PANTS, I REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE WOULD ALWAYS ASK ME TO "STOP SCREAMING" OR "STOP SHITTING MY PANTS" OR "STOP COMING TO DISNEY EVERYDAY BY JUMPING OVER THE FENCE, AND SERIOUSLY YOU'RE 35 AND YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN WHY DO YOU COME HERE?" BUT THEY NEVER UNDERSTOOD. RECENTLY SOME PEOPLE THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO DRESS UP LIKE CLOWNS AND TERRORIZE PEOPLE. SO AS SOON AS I HEARD THIS I LOCKED MYSELF IN MY HOUSE AND BOUGHT ADULT DIAPERS JUST IN CASE. BUT ALAS, MY JOB WAS AN ADVERTISER FOR MCDONALD'S ON THE STREET SO I WASN'T SAFE, THEY WERE OUT THERE, AND IF I DIDN'T STOP THEM I COULD DIE. SO I WENT TO THE HALLOWEEN STORE AND BOUGHT A DRAMA MASK FOR NO REASON, I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T BUT LIKE A FACE MASK OR ANYTHING, AND A BASEBALL BAT SO I COULD DO SOME CLOWN BUSTING.

SO ONE NIGHT, WHEN MY PARENTS WERE ALSEEP, I WENT OUT WITH MY DRAMA QUEEN MASK AND BASEBALL BAT AND WENT OUT IN MY BICYCLE THAT HAD A CARD IN THE WHEEL SO I COULD SOUND COOL. I WENT TO THIS ONE PICNIC SPOT AND FOUND NO ONE THERE, THEN I SAW THIS ONE COUPLE, MAKING OUT ON THE GRAS, SO I CREEPED UP TO THEM AND STARTED WATCHING THEM, BUT NOT IN ANY CREEPY WAY JUST TO LIKE, HELP THEM. THEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN, A CLOWN APPEARED IN FRONT OF THEM "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" THAT HIGH PICTURED SHRIEK DIDN'T COME FROM THE WOMAN, IT CAME FROM ME "PLEASEDONTHURTMEILLDOANYTHINGFORYOUIPROMISE!!!" "ARE YOU SHITTING YOUR PANTS?" THE CLOWN SAID, IN A NORMAL VOICE "WAIT WHAT? YOU'RE NOT A CLOWN" THE. I PROCEEDED TO BEAT HIS HEAD IN, THEN I KILLED THE COUPLE MAKING OUT, THEN I BIKED AWAY AND THE I SAW ANOTHER CLOWN MEH I DON'T CARE, I AIN'T AFRAID OF NO CLOWNS

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