I Accidentally Killed Slenderman

Okay so a few weeks ago I was haunted. I was trying to sleep when suddenly Jeff the Killer came out of the closet!

"I already knew you were gay," I said. "Now shut up and let me go to sleep!"

Then he killed me. I told him not to do that anymore, but he just doesn't listen.

So then the next day I went to some old abandoned (and supposedly haunted) park. That was when I met Slenderman. His appearance caused my video camera to glitch out, which I was really annoyed about.

"Will you stop that!"

He just stood there and stared. Or at least, I'm guessing that's what he was doing; it's hard to tell with a guy who doesn't have a face. I guess that's also why he never said anything. I mean, talking without a mouth is hard (unless of course you're a demonic hedgehog who twirls like a ballerina, but I'm getting off track here). Then suddenly, Slendy ran right towards me! I dodged out of the way, but he kept going. He ran into a tree and knocked himself out. I guess it's hard to see where you're going when you don't have any eyes.

After I got home, I slapped that stupid cut-into-his-face-with-a-knife grin off Jeff's face. Now it's a frown instead.

I went to watch one of his favorite movies, just for the heck of it. I don't remember much of it; I guess it was supposed to be cursed or something dumb like that?

But after I finished the movie, the phone suddenly rang. Which was weird, because I don't even own a phone, but I just shrugged it off as a glitch in the matrix and answered it.

"YOOOOU wILLLL DiES IN SEVEN DAYZ!!!!" some demonic voice said.

"Who the heck are you?" I asked. "And geez, you have horrible grammar!"

"WHaTZ R U TALKINNG ABOOT??? I hAave AWESUMZ GRAMERR!!!!!!!"

"Then why are your E's all done backwards? How the heck do you even do that in spoken language?!"

"SVEN DAYZ!!!!!!!!"

Then he hung up the phone. I then proceeded to perform an exorcism on it. Once the demon was out, I smashed it with a sledgehammer.

So I guess I have a phone now. And a very flattened demon stuck to my wall.

About a week later, I died. I hate when that happens.

Then, earlier this week, I met Jeff's dog, Smile. He was basically what would happen if Jeff and Doge did the nasty in my closet while on crack.

"Much curses. Such spread word. Wow."

And that was how I discovered the cure for antidisestablishmentarianism.

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Credited to Pikapikarai 
Originally uploaded on May 12, 2016

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