Knock, knock, ginger
It was my turn to knock. I had chosen Mr Wilson's house again because he always came to the door and he always cussed us out the best. He would yell offensive slurs into the darkness whilst still in his pyjamas, or that one time, stark naked.
I walked up the familiar path and threw a stone at his mangy cat. It hissed at me and ran ahead... through the open front door. Someone had left it ajar. I looked back. Benjy and the others were shrugging, gesturing at me to get on with it. The front door creaked open even further. Not wanting to look like a chicken, and actually feeling a bit concerned, I went in.
"Mr Wilson?"
The lights were off. Blue fluctuations from the TV set cast shadows on the wall. Photos of Mr Wilson's wife smiled at me. (She'd passed away a few years back and everyone said he kept her body in the freezer.) I crept into the lounge. It was stuffy, dank. Mr Wilson was sitting in his chair in front of the TV.
"Mr Wilson?"
He didn't respond. Didn't even turn his head. He might have been sleeping. I hoped he was sleeping, and edged around to get a better look. What I saw next still haunts my dreams.
Mr Wilson was dead and it looked like he'd been dead for a while. His eyes were hollow shells oozing long, black tears. His mouth hung slack and a multitude of maggots and flies were working their away around his plastic dentures; a monstrous picture, framed nicely by his swollen purple lips. I'd never seen a body so still or so stick thin. In fact, this was my first corpse. My limbs went numb, blood rushed in my ears, my vision started to go, then I threw up.
"Sammy?" It was Benjy come looking for me, "What's going on in- Oh shit!" He said as he came into the lounge.
There was a long pause. Then he started laughing.
"What the fuck? Why are you laughing?"
"Look." Benjy said, pointing to where I'd been sick.
"What?"
"That's a penis."
I looked down and... he was right! The shape my vomit had made when hitting the carpet looked exactly like a penis. I mean the likeness was uncanny.
"Sammy, no, look! Look! No way!"
Mr Wilson's cat had approached us and had started lapping up the area of my puke that was the balls. We couldn't stop laughing at the cat because he was obviously loving it. Benjy filmed everything for about 10 minutes then the spread meant that all the definition was gone so we called the police or whatever and went home.
Credited to koalazeus
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