Lego Movie Creepypasta: The Master Builder's Log
Monday
Hi fellow master builders, it's me, Emmet. It's been a month since the attack that Rex Dangervest has caused, but something seems off about today. I came back to the dream house Lucy and I made with some coffees for my friends when I noticed the house was quiet, too quiet. There's no sound and all. Wait, there's something slowly oozing out of the door. It looks like....blood?! Where's it coming from? I'm following the pool of blood right now to find its source. Oh my GOD! It's Unikitty! She had been horribly mutilated beyond recognition! I nearly threw up at the sight. To make things worse, I found out too late that Queen Watevra, Sweet Mayhem, and Ice Cream Cone were hiding behind me the whole time. Sweet Mayhem cut off my legs with a chainsaw. I'm bleeding very badly now, I don't think I'm gonna make it. If you find this, tell Lucy I love her and she can have my poop sock. Goodbye!
Wednesday
I'm in the hospital now. I thought for sure I was a goner. Lucy, Batman, Benny, and Metalbeard came to visit me. Lucy told me that the police showed up and found me after they saw the pool of blood. She told me that after Sweet Mayhem cut off my legs, she, Queen Watevra, and Ice Cream Cone, for no reason, began fighting each other. Blood and organs were flying. The cop told me it was the most GRUESOME scene he had ever seen. I went outside and watched the sunset. Things are still sinking in.
Thursday
Our dream house is being cleaned up and renovated. I have to live in a motel for a while. My room is not your ordinary hotel room. It's very old and dusty with bars on the windows. Everyone there is really mean. They made fun of me because I was disabled. Bruce Willis gave me a black eye and demanded me to toughen up. I showed him though, by smothering him. They're going to find his body in the morning. Hopefully, they won't blame me for his death.
Friday
Benny just arrived at the motel today. He told me something horrible just happened and showed me a video. It was kind of blurry, but I could make out what it was. It looked like President Business, who was lying in the grass unconscious and another guy wearing a panda mask in a golf cart was running him over repeatedly. As he kept doing it, blood spurted on the screen. Benny told me that when someone found out that President Business was subscribed to T-Series instead of Pewdiepie, he straight up killed him. He also told me that earlier he got HIV from Unikitty. Ugh, I told her not to make out with the raptors! Also, my lower half just got an infection. I'm thinking of ending it all.
Saturday
BENNY IS FUCKING DEAD! I found his body hanging IN MY ROOM! He wrote a death note, but I decided to just throw it away. Life can't get any worse. I feel like everyone I know is fucking DYING!
Sunday
Ever since Benny died, my life has gotten worse. I think I might have depression. Batman sent me a gift and a note saying how much he and Alfred miss me:
"Dear Emmet, I'm sorry about what happened. I guess I should've known earlier. I never told Barbara I cheated on her with Queen Waterva. Right now, it's just Alfred and me. Here, you can have my leftover lobster thermidor, it's my favorite! Sorry if it's a little rotten though. I kind of left it in the fridge six months ago. I really miss you, buddy.
--Batman
P.S. I didn't know you had a poop sock."
On the good side however, the lobster thermidor went great with my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Monday
I just got a call from Alfred Pennyworth. He said Batman, or Bruce as he said it, got caught in the Joker's bomb attack. He was rushed to the hospital and died from choking on his own blood. This all feels like a nightmare.
Tuesday
THE HOTEL JUST BURNED DOWN! THERE WAS A HUGE EXPLOSION! EVERYONE IS FUCKING DEAD! I managed to escape, but suffered severe blood loss. My life can't get any worse.
Wednesday
Me and my big mouth. The cops found out it was ME who caused the motel to burn down. I can't believe this, I was so careful. When the cop arrested me, I said I was going to eat his brain. He thought I was joking though. I hope he likes dying.
Saturday
Finally, I got my Master Builder's Log back. It's been a few days in court proving my innocence and guess what? I FUCKING WON! Yeah, luck is finally coming my way. The only thing is that I'm going back to my old apartment.
Sunday
I JUST GOT STABBED! THAT BASTARD STOLE MY COFFEE! I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA MAKE IT! IT WAS A WILD RIDE, BUT NOW MY SUFFERING WILL END! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!
???day: Wednesday
I have no idea what day it is. I'm in the hospital again. Let me ask the doctor what day it is. They're going to move me to another motel. It looks a lot better than the other one, but I don't think I'll last there though. I'm just going to end it.
Thursday
Good news, things might finally be going my way. Just kidding, someone just got fucking GUTTED DURING LUNCH HOUR!
Friday
Today I had a PTSD flashback. The others were playing baseball and one of them got mad and FUCKING BASHED SOME KID'S SKULL IN! Normally I would find this amusing, but then I had a flashback of when Sweet Mayem cut off my legs. I can tell life is going to be pretty hellish from here.
Saturday
Metalbeard and Lucy arrived at the hotel today. When I saw Lucy, her eyes, oh my GOD! her eyes were hyper-realistic and bloodshot! Right when she got here, she SHANKED SOMEONE WITH A SCALPEL! I don't know why, but I feel like there's something off about her!
Sunday
Lucy's got TWO GUNS and is on a KILLING SPREE! Bodies are dropping left and right! I'm really scared for my life right now!
Monday
Lucy shaved me bald and stabbed me in the chest.
Tuesday
I'm thinking of killing Lucy. She just killed two more people today. SHE STABBED MY EYE OUT! After that, she ran off. The nurse gave me an eyepatch. Metalbeard told me I don't look that bad. Well, to you that is, because I look like a fucking pirate like you. Thanks for nothing.
Wednesday
Metalbeard died today. He drowned in a river next to the sewer. They found his head floating in it. People say it was a suicide, but I'm pretty sure Lucy killed him. I hope she got eaten by wolves or something. My eye still hurts A LOT! If she didn't take any drugs, I wouldn't look like fucking Dan Crenshaw.
Thursday
Everyone at this hotel is really nice....well, except for that son of a bitch Lloyd Garmadon, who threatened that his dad will kill me if I messed with him in any way. That might be the STUPIDEST name on Earth! I'm going to get him.
Friday
Lloyd died today. Everyone says he was smothered, but I wouldn't know anything about that.
Saturday
Damn, I need to redo my life instead of writing in this thing all the time. These might be my final weeks before the infection spreads to my brain and kills me. I started hacking up blood and smelling like poop today. These are signs that I'm going to die soon. The worst part is that Lucy keeps sending me threatening letters, including this one:
"I'll kill you, Emmet!
--Lucy
P.S. Keep your fucking poop sock..."
Shit, I think I heard someone clawing at the window. It's Lucy, she's come back to KILL ME! I hope that bitch can keep up with my mad wheelchair skills. Lucy followed me into the forest. Apparently, she CAN keep up with my mad wheelchair skills! I'll keep this updated as things happen. Lucy tried to strangle me. At first, I couldn't overpower her, but I eventually got on top of her and beat her with a spoon. I scooped her eye out. Now she knows what it feels like. Lucy began to have a seizure until finally, her heart stopped and she collapsed. I'll wait for her to wake up in the morning to find out what to do with her. Right now, I'm going to have sex with her body, I'll even shave off her hair and make it mine.
Monday
Lucy woke up this morning and had a mental breakdown. She was asking me questions like why I had her hair and why she couldn't see out of her other eye. I told her about her wanting to kill everyone, which made her start crying. She said she was sorry and she begged me not to call the police. I said I wouldn't, but instead I smothered her with a pillow. I hope nobody else has to get smothered because it's tiring on the arms.
Tuesday
I buried Lucy's body in the woods and it's not that easy. Have you ever tried to dig a hole in a wheelchair? The infection won't stop spreading. I'm feeling better, but if they don't find a cure for me soon, I'm going to die.
Wednesday
People are starting to catch wind of my murders. After they found Lucy's body in the woods, they immediately blamed me for her death. I denied it, but it's only a matter of time before I'm found out.
Thursday
The police are investigating Lucy and Lloyd's deaths. They found many clues linking me to the murders. I need to do something or I'm going to be fucked, but what will they do to arrest me? I'm already a dead man in a wheelchair.
Friday
The police have an ARREST WARRANT after me! They found out about all my murders, EVERYBODY! I haven't been entirely honest to you fellow master builders. This is my confession, I murdered Unikitty, Queen Watevra, Sweet Mayhem, Ice Cream Cone, Bruce, Benny, Batman, Metalbeard, Lloyd, Lucy, and even President Business. Unikitty's death was an accident and I didn't mean to kill her. I was going to dispose of her remains, but I colored the house in hyper-realistic blood doing so. Once Queen Watevra, Sweet Mayhem, and Ice Cream Cone found out, I had to kill them too, and framed it as a collective murder-suicide. I couldn't believe the police and my friends actually bought that crap. After killing them, I cut off my legs to sell the story even more. Now I wish I hadn't. Of course, it's not going to matter how much the police believe me. I'm going to die soon. I don't want to die, but I will. Fuck, I wish none of this ever happened. I regret it all.
Saturday
THE COPS FOUND MY APARTMENT! They're going to bust in! I don't have a lot of time to write in this, so I'll make it quick. The cops traced my location back to my old apartment. I'm sure as HELL not gonna let them take me in! This is probably, no this IS my last entry in the Master Builder's Log. I'm going to do a last stand and hopefully take a few of them with me. I will be listening to music while doing this too, just to make it more action-like. I may not be famous as a master builder anymore, but instead famous as one of the best serial killers. It's not the way I wanted to be famous, but it's a way.
NEWS REPORT:
Bricksburg in Shock After Its Deadliest Shooting
Bricksburg citizens were shocked after the shooting that happened on the middle floor of an apartment building on Saturday. The shooting involved the police and resulted in 26 killed and 39 injured. The shooter, the master builder called Emmet Brickowski who will be euthanized at the hospital, detailed in his reason for committing the act in a tablet known as the "Master Builder's Log". Other master builders have said the Master Builder's Log also details 11 other murders carried out by Brickowski. Brickowski, a disabled man with blue and pink woman's hair and only one eye, also caused the motel fire earlier this year, which took the lives of 32 people. "I can't believe Emmet would ever do this!" said Sherrie, one of Brickowski's neighbors. "Bat-dad is dead because of him!" said Dick Grayson AKA Robin, Batman's partner who was also one of Brickowski's victims. "He even murdered my sister!" said Prince Puppycorn, the brother of one of Brickowski's victims. No one would have expected the famous master builder who stopped both Taco Tuesday and Armomageddon of all people in Bricksburg to commit such heinous acts. It was said that Emmet was Alt Right because he had guns and knew how to use them. Police say they will release the full Master Builder's Log in April of 2019. More details should surface in the coming days, in the meantime we, along with the rest of the town mourn at the deaths of our fellow citizens.
Thursday
They caught me! Goddamn cops, they're guarding me everywhere. I'm going to have a last meal of chicken lasagna with bechamel sauce and mushrooms before they euthanize me. At least it'll end all the pain I'm feeling from the infection spreading all around my body. I feel my insides being eaten alive. The worst part is that none of my friends are here to see my final moments, my surviving friends that is. They're not allowing visitors to come in. I can't write in this thing anymore, I'm too weak. Also, it was damaged, so it will shut down soon. I'm sorry for everything I've done. I just wish I could push a rewind button and undo all the things I did. Lucy and I could have made a family if I didn't kill her. I can hardly move or think. At least when I die, I'll be a ghost like Vitruvius, and probably like my friends are. I love you guys, and I wish I never killed any of you. Remember my fellow master builders, everything is awesome.
Signing off.
In loving memory of Emmet...
Credited to Christopher lubrano
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