Magnet Day
It was the worst day in American history, but you will never read about it in a History Book. On December 8, 1997, a large magnet was unveiled. What was being looked at was the most powerful magnet ever created. Nobody at the unveiling was to bring any metal, but that didn't stop the magnet from causing its destruction. As it was unveiled the crowd cheered, but a large wave of small pieces of metal accelerated toward it like bullets. Suddenly people were dying at random as if they were being shot by shot guns. People started running as fast as they could away from the magnet, but a wave of cars from the parking lot came and ran many of the bystanders over, being crushed by the car, and some getting pushed into the magnet which was a giant ball of scrap metal at this point. Even worse was that there was an airport nearby and airplanes were getting attracted by the magnet as well some buildings which were highly made of metal. Every piece of metal within a 5 mile radius was now inside this giant ball of scrap metal and human bodies. The only reason the magnetism stopped was because all the metal surrounding the magnet weakened its strength. Everyone who witnessed this event is dead. The government tried to cover it up.
The only evidence that this event happened was that all the TVs within a 10 mile radius had been messed with because of the magnet. However although this national tragedy happened, this isn't really that scary compared to what happened to a small boy. A small boy, who will go by the name of Jimmy to hide his identity, was confused by his TV. The picture on the screen was messed up as all the pixels were being sucked into the corner and there picture was much foggier, but more colorful. Jimmy was not a smart boy so he decided to hit the glass of the TV, thinking it could fix it. The Glass of the TV hit back as if a hand were to hit him. There was a bruise on him. The boy decided to get a wrench and hit the glass of the TV in retaliation. This broke the glass, but a hand came out of the TV and dragged Jimmy in.
Jimmy's father came into the room and found that the TV was broken and screamed at Jimmy. "Jimmy! Why is the TV broken." A hand came out of the crack in the TV and pulled in his father. The police came to the house because Jimmy wasn't at school and Jimmy's father wasn't at work. They believed they had gone missing. Their car was still in their garage, so they couldn't had left. The only thing out of place in the home was that there was a broken TV. The police searched the area and came to a tree. What they saw was very disturbing so please proceed with caution. They found a mangled body with a stretched head. The head was stretched as long as the torso. It still made sound, but the police were unsure if it were still alive or it was just muscles contracting. The policeman shot it to put it out of its misery if the thing were still alive. There was no way of knowing. There was no way they could have saved the poor body.
Now this body was actually entirely unrelated to the case. The real scary part of this story was what was on the TV before little Jimmy was sucked into the TV. He was playing Mario 64 and went into the basement where Dire Dire Docks is, but instead of a water wall, there was a giant Wario head who said "You want fun. Wario will show you fun."
They found Jimmy and his father in the attic. They were just watching You Only Live Twice and eating pizza. Jimmy hadn't seen it before. The mangled body by the tree wasn't actually there either, it was just your imagination. The giant magnet incident didn't happen either. It is not in any textbook or in Wikipedia, but thats likely because of the Government coverup.
Oh my gosh, Wario's head is in my house. No Wario! I don't want you to show me fun! Ahhhhhh! Oh you have Jenga? Jenga sounds pretty fun.
Credited to Pf_Farnsworth
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