My Grandpa Gave Me a Book
I was 22 years old and I was staying at my grandparents for a few days because my parents were on a local business trip together. I was sleeping in my grandpas study which had stuffed human heads on all the walls. My Grandpa slid into the room while I was surfing Omegle the first night and decided to make a smoothie. Over the loud noise of the blender my grandpa started yelling a story about a Book he found in the sewer or something. I was trying to pay attention, but I was distracted by the constant barrage of penises on my screen. At the end of the story my grandpa pulls a hairy book out of his butt and hands it too me while chugging his smoothie and crying simultaneously. "Don't go into the Hurbybaby Woods at night boy!" My Grandpa screams while walking out of the study on his hands.
That night I decided to open up the hairy book too see what it's all about. Here's one of the short stories:
"Bill was scared but he also thought he could outwit The GoatBaby 666 that roamed the HurbyBaby Woods so he gathered all of his sticks and head out to the woods to face his fears. Bill came back from the woods 2 days later with his eyes and several fingers missing"
Weird story. So I figured I could take on this GoatBaby 666 character. I gathered all my sticks and crept down the stairs past my grandparents room where they were smoking some meth and playing Assasins Creed. They didn't notice me. As soon as I walked into the woods I noticed the air got humid and damp and the bugs stopped talking it was eerie. I gripped my sticks close and trudged on. I heard a sniffle behind me and whipped around. Nothing. I kept going on feeling more uneasy. I heard another rustle and this time I yelled "awwww shittt" and started flipping my sticks like a ninja. To my surprise, it was my grandpa standing behind me with his meth pipe. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME TO HURBYBABY WOODS AT NIGHT BOYYY" he whispered. "NOW IMA EAT U" His skin started ripping apart as he transformed Into a huge GoatBaby 666. I ran as fuck and never looked back and never went to my grandparents again.
TL,DR: My Grandpa tricked me and tried to eat me in the woods.
Credited to 666doge
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