My Phone Is a Ghost
I woke up this morning getting a call from my phone. I answered and only heard a heavy breathing on the other side. I hung up and then started crawling down my hallway only to hear my phone ringing again. I crawled back to my room and picked it up and this time it was my stupid son, "heye son". "hey dad" but his voice sounded like an alien. I hung up. I crawled out of my cellar and out into the house. My wife was right where I left her all those years ago, hanging from a rope. She was an alien. If my son was an alien I would have to string him up too. Just, then, my, phone rang and this time it was a facetime, but there was no one on the screen just an empty room. "whaa-". Then he walked into the frame. Spider-man. The ghost of Spider-man. He shot his ghost-web at me through the phone and I deflected it with my combat shield. I took out my Gat. My son walked in looking like an alien and I shot him up. Right behind him walks in none other than fucking Spider-man. I shoot him but I forgot he's a ghost because the bullets go right through him. I thought he was going to eat me or whatever, but to me surprise he walks up and puts a hand on my shoulder and smiles. "You have been choosen by the Elite Spider-man Alien Killing Agency to join our ranks". He handed me a Spider-Man suit. "But remember yung spider, with great power comes great responsibility".
Part 2
I woke up this morning in hot sweats, feeling like I just swam a marathon. I had vivid recollections of my dreams cycling through my mind. Crazy dreams about surgery.. and space. I realized I was running late for school and reached for my phone so I could call my dad to wake him up. He's such a heavy sleeper. The phone rang 2 times and my dad picked up, just then I had an asthma attack and couldn't speak so I breathed heavily into the phone. My dad hung up, I used my inhaler real quick and then called him back. "heye son" "hey dad" He hung up. What the hell. My dad can be a douche sometimes. I began my descent down the sketchy ladder that led me out of my damp attic lair. I got down to the second story and the familiar smell hit me. I peeked down the stairs to the kitchen and saw my dad and my mom. My dad has this insane look in his eyes and he starts shooting me.. with a water gun. "WHAT THE HELL DAD YOU'RE A LUNATIC". He didn't even seem to hear me as his attention was now focused behind me. I turn around. And lo and behold, some weirdo was standing in the kitchen in a fucking spider-man suit. I kid you not. Of course, my deranged dad starts shooting him with the water gun too. Now, at this point I'm fed up with my dad's antics and I need to get to school so I slide out the front door as my dad starts talking to this weird spider-man obsessed loser.
I'm walking down my street to school when I suddenly start getting flashbacks from my childhood. Spider-man suit... The day there was a man with a super-man suit on talking to my dad.
Credited to 666doge
Originally uploaded on June 11, 2015
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