Parallel universe Seinfeld pops up out of nowhere to perform observational comedy: Difference between revisions
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"Goodbye Jenny Seinfeld", I said to the puppy suckling on my teat. "Goodbye", I whispered to the ether. |
"Goodbye Jenny Seinfeld", I said to the puppy suckling on my teat. "Goodbye", I whispered to the ether. |
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I lay sleeping in the coronavirus wing of the hospital, my eyes wide woken and my body convulsing with laughter at the thought of finally dying finally. |
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The doc came in the room and said "你快死了 同性戀者". "So", I thought to my dying self, "I'll be dead soon". Better do what I gotta do. |
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I woke from my sleep, closed my eyes and went to the stairwell. Looking down the hole bit in the middle I could see all the way to the basement levels. Looking back at me were two eyes, glowing in the darkness of the lowest floor. I went down oh like probably 17 floors or something I wasn't counting it didn't seem important at the time, to be honest I don't see what you're annoyed about, does it make a difference exactly how many floors it was. Anyway, as I neared basement level -3 the face behind the eyes spoke. |
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"What's up, partner? Hows about you saddle up and we ride on out of this 'ere town". No stand up routine, just straight talk. It was Jessy Seinfeld. |
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Now, Jessy is a name that goes for both boys and girls and I wasn't sure from the ten gallon hat, chaps and plaid shirt which one this was. I came in close and french kissed Jessy Seinfeld hard on the mouth and elsewhere for the next couple of hours. Ok, Jessica, I thought inside my head-mush, let's get out of here. |
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A shiver walked down my spine, it was doctor 不合格. "You are a very sick person, you must return to the coronavirus dance-floor immediately," he insisted. I didn't know how to interpret that. I pulled my six-gun and shot him dead. Then i shot myself too in case I was my enemy. I wasn't sure anymore. |
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When I woke up in the coronavirus ward of Chopsticks Hospital I was not dead anymore. The nurse at the end of my bed was writing my chart, and when she looked up it was Jessy Seinfeld looking back at me. I pulled my six gun and shot myself dead. |
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When I woke up in the coronavirus ward of Chopsticks Hospital I was not dead anymore. The nurse at the end of my bed was writing my chart, and when she looked up it was Jessy Seinfeld looking back at me. I pulled my six gun and shot myself dead. |
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When I woke up in the coronavirus ward of Chopsticks Hospital I was not dead anymore. The nurse at the end of my bed was writing my chart, and when she looked up it was Jessy Seinfeld looking back at me. I pulled my six gun and shot myself dead. |
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... |
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When I woke up in the coronavirus ward of Chopsticks Hospital I was not dead anymore. The nurse at the end of my bed was writing my chart, and when she looked up it was Jessy Seinfeld looking back at me. I pulled my six gun and shot myself dead. |
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When I woke up in the bum burns ward of St. Fucktards Hospital I was not dead anymore. "Gosh darned groundhogs. You know when you're at the saloon and the bartender doesn't want any trouble, mister, but you're just itchin' for a gun fight?", said Jessy Seinfeld, before spitting into the sawdust on the floor. "Next time we go to a Chinese restaurant", I screamed in Frank Costanza's voice, "we need to book a table! We have missed the movie and all that shit!" But it was too late, I was all of China now. |
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{{by|Headpuncher}} |
{{by|Headpuncher}} |