Patrixxx Island: The 24-Part Troll Pasta Epic
EVIL PATTRIXX ISLAND
CHAPTER 1
ONCE I WAS IN MINECRAFT WHEN I GOT A PICTURE FROM MY FRIEND WHICH SHOWED A MUSHROM BIOME AND THE COORDINATES TO SEE IT AND THE SEED. I ENTERED THE SEED, AND I WAS IN A SWAMP. THE SWAMP HAD A VILLAGE IN IT. UNLIKE THOSE VILLAGERS WHICH HAD THE LONG NOES, THEY WERE DEMMIES. ONE WAS SHIT CONCUSSION BLASTING AN ENDERMAN, AND IT DED. SO I DECIDED TO WALK TO THE PLACE THAT HAD THE MUSHROOM BIOME IN IT. I WENT TO IT, AND THERE WERE A LOT OF GINT MUSHROOMS AND MOOSHROMS WERE. I THEN FOUND A CAVE THAT HAD SOME PONIES IN IT.
CHAPTER 2
ME AND THE PONIES MADE A HOUSE. WHEN WE WENT TO SLEEP SOMEPONY KNOCKED ON DA DOR. WHEN I SAW WHO IT WAS, WE CRAPPED OUR PANTS. IT WAS THE KING GAST FROM DA MINECRAP ,MAN. HE SAID "IM GONA KIL YOU EHEHEHEHERUHRSDEFWJIOG9STU9SGT" BUT THEN SOMEONE KILLED IT AND HEROBRINE WAS THE SOMEONE WHO KILLED IT. BUT THEN HEROBRINE DIED BECAUSE OF NOTCH DOING A HEROBRINE FLIP. THEN NOTCH DIED AND GUESS WHO KILLED NOTCH? EVIL PATRIXXX! I DUG THROUGH THE MOOSHROOM SIDE BUT THE PONIES DIED.
BUT ONE WAS DISCORD.
CHAPTER 3
I RAN TO THE CAVE WHERE HAPPY APPY WAS RAPING FOERNSIK. I SAID "HEY BITCH" AND HAPPY STOPPED RAPING FORENZIK. I THEN SAID "EVIL PATRIXX IS CHASING ME." THEY THEN SCREAMED, AND I WENT TO THE TOP OF THE ISLAND, AND BLEW OUT THE CORNERS. PATRIXXX COULDN'T GET ME, BECAUSE I WAS ON TOP OF A PEAK 512 BLOKS HIHG, OR 512 CUBIC METERS, OR 512 METERS, OR 1,679 feet (ABOUT DAR)).
CHAPTER 4
I THEN FOUND OUT THAT FORENSIK WASN'T FORENZIK AT ALL. HE UNZIPPERED HIS HOODIE AND IT WAS CHARLIE GODON FROM FLOWERS FOR ALGIENON. THEN HAPPY APPY UNZIPPED AND IT WAS THE MOUSE ALGERNON. I SAID "HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU HAVE RAPED CHARLIE GORDON" AND THE MOUSE SIAD "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" WHICH IS MOUSE FOR "BECAUSE I HAVE A HUGE DREW PICKLES KOK" AND WHEN HE SAID THAT DREW PICKLES AND CANDLEBLACK TRIED TO FIGHT EVIL PATTRIXX BUT DIED. EXCEPT FOR CANDLEBLACK AND DREW PICKLES.
CHAPER 5
I THEN NOTICED THAT THE PONIES SKELETON POPED OUT. THEY WERE ALL POPPING OUT AND ATTACKING EVIL PATTRIXX. PATRIXXX USED THE GORE LAZER AND KILLED THEM ALL. THEN CHARLIE GOT AN IDEA. HE GOT DREW PICKLES, GRABED HIM BY THE COCK, AND STARTED HITTING PATTRIX WITH DREW'S BODY. PATRIXXX THEN THREW DREW PICKLES TO THE NETHER, WHERE HE RAPED THE BLAZES AND THE MAGLA CUBES. THEN, THE MOOSHROOMS THREW FLAMING FIREBALLS AT US. THE MOOSHROOMS WERE WORKING FOR PATTRIXXXXXXXXXUJH9FDUIHJGJUIOADFTRIOUJTRWASEPIOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1117843789325978Y2459874562978
CHAPTER 5 I MEANT 7 NO 6
ALL THE CLOUDS TRNED TO PATRIXXX AS WE WENT INTO THE CAVE. WE THEN SAW THE DEMMY VILLAGER WHO SHIT CONCUSSION BLASTED THE ENDERMAN. THEN CHARLIE GORDON TOOK OFF HIS CLOTHES IN FRONT OF THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS AND SAID "OH YEAH SUK MY DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK FOR CUTIE MARKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" but then PATTRIXXX SHOT HIS gore fest AT CHARLY AND IT TURNED INTO SWEET APPLE MASSAKRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH CHARLY GODON AS BIG MAC!!!!!!!!
ChAPTER 7
OH GOd, SOME of MY TEXT IS BECOMING LIKE CHARLIE GORDON WHEN HE WASN'T RETARDED. IN THE 10TH CHAPTER IT might be perfect TEXT AAAAAAAAH
SO AFTER THAT horrifying scene with CHARLIE GORDON raping THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, THE GRAASS started becoming PatRIXXX!!!! WE GOT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE, DUG A HOLE TO THE bedrock, and staYED DAR UNTIL IT WENT BAK TO NORMAL. WE GOT OUT AND THE MYCELLIUM ON THE GROUND WAS STILL PATRIXXX but notch's ghost BURNED IT!
ChapTER 8
So after THAT, WE WENT BACK TO THE HOUSE. The smell of DERAD ponies filled DA AIR, AND WE KRINGED. THEN I NOTICED THAT DEMMY WASN'T THERE. SHE WAS BEING KILLED BY PATTRIXXX!!!! WE TRIEd to help Demmy but IT WAS OBVIOUS SHE WAS DEaD. WE THEN CRIED UNTIL MORNING, AND THEN Charlie said "We need to kill PATRIXXX by a ENDAORMARN.'
ChapteR 9
SO we decided to find a enderoaman. WE BUILT A BOAT out of Pinoccohio. WE THEN ALL RODE ON IT UNTIL WE saw a castle built on an island. It was named the "PONAY ISLEND DISKO PALACK." So we went in and THERE WERE MANY Ponies RAVING TO VITYL SCRAKTCH. WE THEN SIAD "Is there any Endermen IN THE HOUSE?" SO THEN WE FOUND SOME SEXY SEXY ENDERMEN.
Chapter 10
Oh fuck. This Troll Pasta now has good grammar and punctuation. See? I am pulling a Charlie Gordon (but not like doing something stupid, like having bad grammar and improving, but at the end it goes back to bad.)
So after we got the Endermen. We proceeded to have sex with them. After that, Charlie said "We need to find Evil Patrick, and have the big black Endermen rape him." So we went back to PaTRIXXXX ISLAND (YOU SEE, I am still under the influence), and there he was. He gave us that fucking smugass look. The man who made him (the image not the pasta) can go fuck himself with a cactus.
Capter 11
Yay my grammar and puncuation is gettin worse.
So we dECIDED to fight EVIL PATRIXXX. We first threw Demmy at him, and she used the Diarrhea Concussion Blast. PATRIXXX used the goar fest, and they collided. It was sOOOOOO BRIGHT, MEH, CHARTLY GODON, Algernon the mouse, Drew Pickles, CaNDUILBLAK, the Mooshrooms, the Cutie Mark KUSAUDERS, Notch's goast, the skeletons of the ponies, those sexy black endermen, the ponies at the PONAY ISLEND DISKO PALAC, anD VINYUL ASCRATCH NEDDED TO PUT SUNGLASES ON EXCEPT FOR DEMY AND PATRIXXX.
AFTER THAT we saw that Patrixxx hasd killed Demmy. SHE HAD EXLPODED INTO COINS, WHICH HAD DEAD GUYS ON DEM. WE THEN SENT THE BLACK MEN AFTER HIM.
CHAPPTER 12
[Missing video: PATRIXXX KILS SKIDWARD. - Caption: "DA FOTAGE!!!##!!#@#%$%@$@^@^$&^@#"]
YAY MY TROL PASTA SPECH IS BACK FUK YOU GRAMAER NATZIS.\
SO THEN THE ENDERGEN BOT OBSIDIAN AND HIT PATRIXXX WITH THEM AND NOW HE'S DEAD. OH GOD HE KILLED THEM SO WE SENT DREW PICKLES AND CANDULBLAKCKFKGKSHG,LGS.H. CANDULBLAKCKCKCJKDGIJFJUPIKGHSIKPOD USED HIS DONG TO ROPE UP EVIL PATRIXXX BUT PATRIXXX SAWED IT IN HALF, SICNEKING DREW PIKLES.
THEN WE THREW SKIDWARD AT HIM AND THIS HAPENED. ITS REVRSED
CHAPTOR 13: NOW WE HAVE SUBTITLES!!!!!! IN THIS ONE; DA WEPIN ANGLES.
OKAY SO THE ENDERMEN, DEMMY, AND SKIDWARD DIED. ME, CHARLY GODON, DREW PIKELS (CANDLBLAK DIED), AND ALGERNON WERE THE ONLY SURVIVORS. THEY WONDRED HOW WE COULD GET OUT. THEN PATTRIXXX SAW THOSE FUCKING WEEPING ANGELS. ONCE, WHILE IN EQUASTRIA, PATRIXXX SAW A WEEPING ANGEL. HE KILLED IT, BUT ANOTHER APPEARED. HE KILLED THAT AS WELL, BUT HE WENT AWAY.
THE WEEPING ANGELS ATTACKED PATRIXXX BUT HE STABBED THEM. HOLY SHIT, WILL HE EVER DIE?
CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPTOR 14: NOW PRINCES CELERY-STIA IS INVOLVED JESUS CHRIS!!!!!!
SO THEN WE SAW SOME BIG THING FLY FROM THE SKY. IT WAS CELESTIA, HERE TO KILL PATRIXXX! SHE FIRED A RAINBOW, BUT PATRIXXX USED THE GORE FAST AND THREW THE DEAD PONY SKELETONS AT CELESTIA. THE RAINBOW WENT OUT TO THE SUN, ENTERED A PORTAL, AND HIT JENS' COCK. HIS COCK WAS FROZEN!
SO THEN PATRIXXX USED THE GORE FEST AT CELESYTA AND SHE SAW THE PICCYS OF SWET APLE MASSAKUR AND CUPCAAAAAAAAKES! SHE WAS DISTURBED SO SHE WENT BACK TO EQUESTRIA TO RAPE SOME PONIES BECAUSE SHE WAS REALLY MOLESTIA.
CHAPTER 15: NOW WID SHERLOK HOLMS
SORRY FOR THE LATE POST
NOW WHER WAS I
OH YES
SHERLOK HOLMS CAM OUT OF A PORTAL AND SAID "YO WAZZUP BIZNITCHZ I AM SHERLOK HOLMS" AND BEN SAID "I AM BEN AND WE ARE HERE" BNUT THEY WERE CUYTY OFF BY EVIL; PATRIXX! PATRIX SHOT A FIREBLAA AT SHERKOL HOMLMS AND BEN! THEY DIED!
CHAPTR 16: TEH SKELLINGTINZ CUM
WIT SHURLOCK HOEZ DED I DECIDD "HA, Y NAWT JUST BURN HIM?" SO DN AMOTHERFUCKIN' SKELLINGTIN POOPED OWT ND LAZRD EVILE PATRIXXX BUT HE ALRED DED N A FIR SO EVILE CAP'N BAWYER WIL TAK HIZ PLAC. SO EVILE CAP'N BAWYER SED "IT'S TIEM 2 DDDDDDDDDDDUEL!" ND FRU A GAYNADE AT TEH SKELLINGTIN BUT THEN AWIKICONTRIBUTOR USED HIZ AMAZNGNES 2 MURDERP EVILE CAP'N BAWYER BUT HE CAM BAC!!!1
CHAPR 17: MUDKIPZ COUNTI
OKOKOKOK SO, PATRIXX TRLELPARTED EM TO MUDKUIP CONTY N DER WUZ FULLZS OF KUIPZ N LIEK DER WUZ NO ONE DER CEPT MUDKIPS, WICH WUZ WERD CUZ IZ WEIRD, U NO WAT I MEEN?\
CHAPTER 18: PATRIXXX N DEH BRONY PARAD3
SO, DER I WUZ (SPICY) N I WUZ FAPPIN N PATRIXX GRABBIN N I WUZ LIEK HOLD ON LEMME FIN, DEN I DID N HE TUK MEH TOO TEH BRONY PAARAD4E I WUZ LIEK IM NOTA BRONY, DEN PATRIXX PUT A SPLL N MEH N I BCEAM BRONY N HE DID TEH SAEM 2 U IF U IZ BRONY!!!!!! BE WRN3D! BXDDER WUZ LOSTA PON3Z N WEIRDO WAZ DER ALUNG WIF MOMO N WERDOZZY N BILL99999999 SO, WE WERE LIEK PONY N I WUZ LIEK LOLK , (CUZ TEH SPELL DIDN TEAK FECT YET) DEN, A PONY CEAM OUT N SHE SED MAH NAME IZ VINYL SCRTCH I WORK FOR PATRIXX N I WAS LIEK OKOKOK B MINE, N YA DAT WUZ HAPPNIN!!!1!
CHPER 19: BEEP BOOB SUN, BEEP BOOP
SO DEN, cHARLie Gordon, wait, oh fuck, my grammar is good again! Oh well, fuck you guys, im going home.... Nevermind, Dronian doesn't pay me enough. So, we left the Brony Parade and returned to Partick's Island. No, NO! I SPELLED PATRICK CORRECT! NOOOOO! Oh well, CHarlie Gordon was waiting for our arrival, he wanted us to deliver a parcel to Professor Oak. Before we could deliver, Patrixxx kicked us to the Sun. Which was weird cause he actually kicked himself in the balls. Lol.
Chapter 20: Back 2 NORMEL
loLOLOLK, SO IM BEK 2 NORMEL OK? OK. LOLOL8OTRDHSGHDFHNGNSRVAWKDF idhv WIhcv aicovZIh ai vWI oc OJC AOWC V i haz bin under curxse dof parrixx hellp mehh nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHPER 21: OLD ENUH 2 DRUNK
[Missing image: Time-dominator-1st-cover.jpg - Caption: "TEH TIEM MACHEEN"]
BUT I LIED! Just as we were about to hit the Sun, some creepy-looking Sonic wannabee called Socket happened to come along in his time machine and intercept us, but he accidentally hit the wrong button and sent us to the Stone Age instead of sending us back to Earth, where a pre-historic version of Jeff The Killer attacked us. "UGG UGG UGG YOU AM GO SLEEP NOW" he said, clutching an obsidasin knife. We freaked out and started running away. Then Slenderman kicked his ass and sent us back to our own time. But Prehistoric Jeff slipped through the time portal along with us and chased us again. The Broken Glass Beast tripped him up and he fell on his ugly face. To celebrate our survival, all of us went to Las Vegas. But Patrixxx wasn't done with us yet!
CHATTER 22: DA KAL OFF PATULHU
SUDDLY CTHULHU WOK UP FRUM HIS ETURNAL SLUBMER AND WENT RUND KILIN EVERWUN AN DRIVEN PEPOL INSAEN AN DEN EVIL PATRIXXX SHOWD UP AND CHALENGED HIM TO A BATTEL DEY FAWT FOR 24 HRS STRAIT AN BLEWED UP TEH ERFS IN DA PROCCES AN DEN DAY MERGED TOGETUR AN BECAM PATULHU!
CHAPTUR 23: You're STILL Reading This?!
PATULHU AET DIS CHAPTUR AND DEN A HYPER RAELITSIC SKELELETON POPED OUT!
CHUPTRD 24 TEH ENDIGN
SO PATULHU KILLD EVERONE AND TEH WIRLD EXPLODEDED AND EVERYWON DIAD ACCEPT PATULHU AND DEN HE WENT OUT TO A BAR WITH SONIXXX AND THE FARTED TEH HEND.
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