Skinwalkers from the Desert
One night I got really bored. It was just payday from the job where I work (I make the French fires at the local world famous French fries restaurant) and so then I decided that I wanted to have some fun.
The world famous local casino is less than an hour from where I live and so I left my house and started going to the casino but then I got tired and went back to get my car so that I could drive there instead.
At the casino I went to play the slot machines. I sat down at the slot machines but an old mystic lady said that I stole her spot and said some chants and informed me that I was now cursed.
I didn't believe her, but when I pulled the lever on the machine it came up with SKULL SKULL SKULL??? Also I won $15 but from that point on I knew something spooky was going to happen that very night.
I drove back to my house but needed to stop to refill my gasoline tank with gasoline so I stopped at a gasoline station. I was unscrewing the gasoline tanks's cap when I felt three sharp taps on my shoulder! I turned around to see a fat man trying to sell me some turquoise jewelry. "Wowie zowies! You really spooked me there!" I screamed as I smashed the tray of jewelry out of his hands and onto the diesel-stained driveway.
I jumped into my car quick as I could and drove off into the darkness but I forgot that my gasoline tank cap was still unscrewed so I had to stop my car so that I could screw it back in but then I got back into my car and continued to drive off.
Just then a I saw a shadowy figure run up to the drivers side window. I floored the accelerator pedal but the figure kept up with me the whole time! Could this be the skinwalker of legend I thought to myself? "Yes," it said, and then I saw that it had my wallet in its beak so I slowed down so that I could get my wallet back from it.
"You big dumb skinwalker, fork over my wallet!" I asked and then the skinwalker told me that I left it on top of my roof at the gasoline filling station and was just trying to be helpful by getting it back to me. I got it back and then it let out a bone chilling howl as I ran it down with my car a few hundred yards down the road. I'll never forget that noise.
Wait, is that my alarm clock??
Poop, I overslept. But does that mean I was dreaming the WHOLE TIME?? More like a nightmare, I think you'd agree.
I went to go get my mail because my boss told me I shouldn't bother coming back to work. After I got my mail I went to my French fries restaurant to get my last paycheck.
I opened the envelope to look over my insurance premiums for the month and could not believe my eye: Deductions for federal and state income tax, social security, Medicare, and OBAMACARE FOR SKINWALKERS?!?!? I heard that howl out in the distance as the police escorted me from the HR office. This probably means that what I initially thought was real, that turned out to be a dream, was probably real after all.
OR WAS IT?!?!?
Credited to hotel_torgo
Originally uploaded on August 25, 2014
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