Sleep Deprivation Gone Wrong

Get it? Sleep deprivation? "No sleep?" Holy shit you're dense.

The following is based on a true story... And you can't handle the truth.

Anyway supposedly going several days without sleep will simulate the effects of heavy intoxication. I'm broke as fuck so I decided to try it. So I stayed awake for a while watching Netflix. Then I started seeing... things. As in, normal things indeed like the Netflix logo in between episodes.

But then I started seeing... more things. Things that were... indeed... strange. I saw my own reflection in my laptop screen: a hideous, warped, malformed mask of inhumane origin.

Then indeed I started seeing things I didn't expect. Like colors where there shouldn't be colors: orange Doritos stains where there shouldn't be any. Unless, wait, maybe there should be? I indeed forget. It's been almost 3 hours straight of awakeness; I can't remember if indeed I ate any Doritos or not. The smart money is on "yes because you're a lazy fatass."

Then the exhaustion hit me like a thing that hits things really hard. Indeed, I felt pretty-white-girl-wasted, which was a spooky feeling for a four hundred pound albino [totally alpha] male.

In my pseudo-drunken stupor, I realized I wanted nothing more than to take a nap. So indeed I did.

Wait, fuck! The whole point was for me to stay awake! But when I woke up, I indeed saw something that haunts me to this day:

My laptop screen had indeed fallen asleep. Which means it was indeed white-girl wasted. Which (1) is impossible for an inanimate object and (2) means I had indeed spilled an alcoholic drink on it which I DIDN'T HAVE. Also (3) it should be BROKEN. But indeed it WASN'T.

Who am I? Am I the real monster???? Or is something far more sinister indeed at work?

TL;DR: My laptop got drunk off ghost beer and then I realized I wa-

...

INDEED

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Originally uploaded on March 31, 2015

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