9001 Nights at Freddy Fazbear's Paradise of Pingas Pizza, An Autobiographical Memoir (AKA FNAF 5) Director's Cut: The Final Shreckoning: Game of the Year Edition: Hot Sauce included: Difference between revisions

One day I, Timmy McJimmy, was looking for a job. I had only two cents and  a box that was twelve inches tall on a street corner in Da Hood. In a newspaper I found on the ground, I saw a Help Wanted ad for a new resturantrestaurant. It was called Freddy Fagbear's Pingas Paradise. I yelled "OH SHNAZZ!" and ran all the way to the resturantrestaurant. Luckily, the ad featured the address: 69 2Spooky avenue.I was very happy when they immediately let me have a job because I was homeless. They gave me night watch, even though I wanted to thaw frozen pizza under a heat lamp in the kitchen. They told me to be at work at 12 AM, which I kinda hated but, oh well!

I arrived on time and put on my fabulous security uniform. I then heard a ringing noise coming from a phone on the desk. The man on the phone  told me that I had to use an IPad to watch over the ten animatronics: Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, Katty Kat, Patrick the Potato, Sanic teh Hedgehoge, Doge, Dolan the Duck, and Balloon Bitch. I thought it would be easy enough untilluntil Freddy moved from the stage to the kitchen. I thought it was a glitch, but then Bonnie walked over to Katty Kat. They then went into the Pirate's Cove, being hidden behind the curtain. I heard a pirate-like voice saying "Shiver Me Timbers!" and a lot of clanging noises. I wanted to investigate but then 

I arrived at my job on time, again, and the phone immediately started ringing. The phone guy explained how Shreky threw an onion at a kid who was allergic to onions, causing "The bite of 2015". Shreky was convicted with a life sentence in jail for his crime. He also said that Katty Kat had to be sold because she seduced the children.I also thought I heard him say something about a "purple man", but I was to busy trying to get to level 999 in Flappy Bird to listen (only got to level 987 >:0). I turned on the cameras only to see Freddy,Bonnie, and Chica huddling around Balloon Bitch. Apparently, he was selling illegal "balloons" that made you really super uber high. I also saw Patrick going to the ladies bathroom and Sanic breakdancing to the Trololol song. I thought tonight was going to be just as normal, until I saw a new app on the IPad. It was called Sav3_tH3m.EXE, so I decided to click on it. All it showed was an Atari game where you controlled Freddy. You followed a wierdweird man who looked purple. When you got to the last room the purple man would tickle you with a dildo-looking thing and said "You Can't". Before I could say that this game was crap, the alarm went off and I had to go.

I arrived at 11:40 in the morning and watched some funky PR0NZ and watched some Five Nights At Freddy gameplay untilluntil the phone rang. The phone guy said that today was gonna be fine. He said my paycheck will be sent to me at 8:00 PM tonight. I was so excited, I ran out the room. When I did this, I almost got rekt by Sanic but I went into the office and shut the door in time. I was relieved untilluntil I saw Bonnie running down the other hallway. I closed the door on Bonnie's arm, cutting it of and leaving it in my room as a pet. I played some more Flappy Bird untilluntil I got bored, so I went to check on the others. Dolan and Chica were doing something, um, interesting in the back room. Golden Freddy and Sanic where dancing the dougie when the alarm clock went off and I left.

[[File:Bathroom showdown.jpg|thumb|220x220px|Patrick the PotatoePotato's satanic ritual]]

I arrived at work at 11 PM so I could have a full hour beat Flappy Bird. I did, thankfully, just in time for the next phone call. The phone guy said they needed an animatronic to replace Patrick and Turdy, and they had not that much money from wall repairs, so they brought back the Puppet. Knowing who this Puppet animatronic was, I yelled "Dammit!" He also said that he installed a new app to "spice things up". I checked the IPad and, like he said there was an app called "Animatron Hacker 360". I clicked it and there was, like, a 30 -minute loading screen. After that, a screen popped up with all of the current animatronics: Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, Sanic, Dolan, Balloon Bitch, Golden Freddy and The Puppet. There were several different presets, so i will try to show my reactions to each of them.