Mediocrity Births A Monster: Difference between revisions
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It’s just another mediocre evening in my mediocre life as I make my usual mediocre drive from my mediocre job where I bring home a mediocre check every week so I can support my mediocre lifestyle. When I pulled into my mediocre driveway, I got out of my mediocre car and went inside my mediocre house. As I was walking through my mediocre living room to get to my mediocre kitchen so I could fix me a mediocre ham sandwich to eat, I hit my mediocre big toe against my mediocre couch. I yelled so many cuss words, all I needed was a nice beat and I would be a mediocre rapper. My yelling woke up my wife. Oh yeah, she’s mediocre, too. Anyway, she met me in the mediocre kitchen and I could tell from the look on her mediocre face that we were about to get in a mediocre argument.
After our mediocre anger subsided, my mediocre wife tried to give me a mediocre apology and made mediocre promises that she would do better, but I knew she couldn’t do better. Neither of us could. We were just too mediocre. It’s our mediocre lot in this mediocre life and we can’t change that, no matter what. And so, I limped out of my mediocre house, got in my mediocre car and drove to the nearest mediocre bar, hopping to drown my mediocrity with as much alcohol as possible. I drank mediocre beer and mediocre liquor until my mediocre head started spinning, but the mediocrity was still there. I couldn’t shake it no matter what I did.
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Then, I turned around and saw her. She was the sexiest woman I had ever seen with my mediocre eyes. She was thick in all the right places and had curves that could drive a mediocre man like me insane. She walked over to me and took a seat on the mediocre stool beside me. She flashed me a smile, and I gave her a mediocre smile back.
When I opened my mediocre eyes, I saw that I was alone in the forest now. I stood up and tried to walk, but I tripped over something. When I looked to see what I tripped over, I almost had a mediocre heart attack. I tripped over my own penis! It had been stretched so long, it looked like a fireman’s hose.
So, this was my life now. I went from being a mediocre man to a horny ass monster with a long dick. I’m now the Slinky Thang. I live in the forest across from Slender Man. I used to have tea with him every day at ten in the morning. We talk and bullshit for a while, laughing about our latest victims and how they always beg for us to stop or let them go. Slender’s a pretty cool guy once you get to know him. Then again, I’m not his victim. As of right now, Slender and I aren’t speaking to each other. I don’t wear pants anymore, as I have to let my long dick hang free, and when I went to have tea with him the other day, he kept tripping over my dick and it really pissed him off. I rolled my dick up and left, going back to my forest and waiting for my next victim. So, if you stumble across the forest to the left of Slender’s forest, just know that when you get that strange feeling and then you say,
--JRod1988
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