Cousin Skeeter: The Lost Episode: Difference between revisions
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The Deep Web, for any readers who don’t know what it is, is essentially the hidden part of the internet that you will be unable to find with normal browsers such as Yahoo or Google. In order to access it, you must use softwares such as Tor. For the most part, the Deep Web is used by criminals to perform illegal activities such as drug trafficking, hitman hiring, and much, much worse. However, I’m not accessing the Deep Web for drugs, hitmen, or illegal pornography. I’m only on the Deep Web for one thing: Some goddamn Cousin Skeeter.
After a few hours of searching, I finally found what appeared to be a Pirate Bay-esque site that hosted a download for the entire series, every 52 episodes in beautiful HD format. I click the large green DOWNLOAD button with glee, and a small message popped up on my laptop screen that read: "Would you like to download videoxxxavi.exe?
I clicked "
I kept myself from leaping in joy as I watch the file quickly download, my happiness quickly fades to fear and regret as my laptop makes a loud screech and crashes. No matter what I did, I could not turn the piece of shit back on as I slowly realize that I must of download some sort of virus.
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I sigh depressingly as I slump to my attic, crawling to the darkest corner and crying, just like I did back in my childhood whenever my parents yelled at me for no reason. I sat there and laid next to an old box as I begin to think about whether or not life means anything, thoughts about my supposed relevance to anyone’s lives begin to fog my head. I try to distract myself by looking through the old box, looking for a reason to not feel so down.
That’s when I found it. Inside the box, lying on top of all the useless junk, was a slim DVD case with no jacket cover on it. I took it out, puzzled, and open it. Inside was a DVD-R, on the face of it, written in bold red, chisel-tipped Sharpie brand permanent marker was "COUSIN SKEETER EPISODE #
After going to the hospital to make sure my asshole wouldn’t gap for the rest of my life, I quickly walked up to the attic to get the DVD. It shouldn't be such a surprise to me that bricks going through your rectum would hurt like hell in retrospect, but it was still pretty damn surprising. Anyways, I took the disc and stared at it, trying to figure out exactly why it was there in my attic. Surely, my parents had nothing to do with the production of the show, and I dont know anybody else who would. Unless…
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The breath taking theme song began, showing the famous Skeeter himself pimpin hoes in the club while Bobby dances along to the theme tune. Man, I forgot how badass Skeeter looked in that shiny silver tuxedo. What a pussy magnet, that guy is. Watching the intro alone made me feel happy, which in turn made me even more excited to get to the actual episode.
The episode started in Bobby’s room. He was lying on his bed, reading a magazine when Skeeter walked up to him. He started to talk in a monotone drone, "Bobby, We need to talk.
Bobby got up, looking somewhat concerned. "What’s wrong, Skeeter?
Skeeter sighed, and looked up to the wall. "Look, I can’t live here
Shocked, Bobby replied, "Why? What happened.
Skeeter looked down, almost shamefully. He then turned to Bobby, "I got a girl pregnate.
Bobby give him a long, disappointed look. "Dammit Skeeter, why? You know you can’t raise a family! You’re too busy pimpin’
"That’s just it. I’m ending my career in being the baddest man who ever lived.
Bobby stared in shock just like me. How could this happen? The subject of unexpected pregnancy was way too adult for the young audience this show was aimed for. I continued to watch, Skeeter now got up and looked out the window in a calm manner.
"When I was younger, Bobby, I thought I could do anything. That I could take on the whole world. I thought that if something like this would happen, I could just run away and still be free.
A small tear could be seen on Skeeter’s face. Bobby sat there on his bed, still stunned at what he’s hearing. Skeeter continued.
"I was naive, but what I never realized was that the world simply didn’t revolved around me. I never even thought about how much my actions could affect the way I lived.
He paused, and there was a long, uncomfortable silence in the room.
"But now, I realized that I have to grow up, and that I have to take responsibility for my actions, especially now that I’m going to have a child of my own.
Bobby got up and walked to Skeeter, "Skeeter, I.. I just dont know what to say. What are you gonna do now?
Skeeter looked up to him, "I already applied for a job at Stater Bros. It’s not much, sadly, but it’s all I can get.
"But where are you going to live?
"My girl, she owns an apartment at that one complex-
"But that place is located down at Wilson street! You know how dangerous it is down there!
"It’s all we have. Either that, or we live with you and your parents, but I can’t just do that to you."
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Bobby bites his lip, a mixture of confusion and frustration on his face. He tried to speak, but all that he could respond with where stutters. Skeeter gave him a hug.
"Thanks for all the help,
"Don’t thank me, thank
Skeeter left the room as Bobby sat next to his window, and the episode abruptly ends. I sat there on my couch, jaws to the floor at what I just saw. I took the disc out of my Xbox and snapped it in half.
"That was horseshit!
I stomped around the room, throwing stuff left to right. I took a picture of my parents and smashed it against the TV screen, instantly breaking both. I jumped up and down on my coffee table until the legs broke. I did this until my neighbors called to cops on me, thinking that someone was being murdered from my screams of anguish.
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