Firebrando Takes Over the World and Kills Everyone (BurningTorrent's 1 Year Anniversary on TPW Special): Difference between revisions
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Firebrando Takes Over the World and Kills Everyone (BurningTorrent's 1 Year Anniversary on TPW Special) (view source)
Revision as of 10:41, 17 June 2021
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minutes later by copious amounts of noise coming from upstairs.
"Oh for fuck’s sake!
out of bed to check what the source of the noise was.
Line 36:
"Look, I know I have an affinity for opening up time-space
rips to this world, but this is ridiculous.
middle of the room.
"We don’t wanna cause any shit. We’re here mainly for fan
service, but there’s another reason we’re here as well.
"Firebrand has gone missing. And you’re the only one who can help us.
"Nope, not doing it.
story ends. (Lol jk.)
"Look m9, we need to find him or he’s going to kill
everyone.
"Fine. But you owe me a free KFC after this.
"Ok.
dimension.
Meanwhile… (OMINOUS MUSIC.)
"Firebrand. Have you got the dank good shit?
figure says.
[[File:Pussybriefcase.gif|thumb|261x261px|Breifcase Full O' Pussy (Fleshlights but I'm Lazy) Aka ISpentTooMuchTimeOnMakingGifsForThisThing.gif]]
"Why yes, I have.
revealing about 50 fleshlights.
"Aww yeh dats sum gud shit, gut shit rite dere.
walks into the dim light of Whateverthefuck Castle and is revealed to be Dio
Brando. (If you haven’t figured out why the title has Firebrando in it instead
Line 69:
Now back with the crew.
"So, how do you suppose we should find him?
in the room.
"Well, we can’t ask Slendy because he’s too done with this
shit. He walks out like every fucking day. He’s still going through his
rebellious phase. He’s left the collective like 1000 times already.
Observer says.
"What about Noah? Do you think he could have some sort of
weird ability that could help us to find where the bastard is?
"Omg we didn’t think of that! Well done Captain Obvious!
Well, it wouldn’t have been the first thing I’d have thought of, but then
again, Allini IS emo, transgender, troll Justin Beiber, so who knows how she
Line 86:
"Alright guys, stop with the banter. I have an idea as to
where he could be.
"Oh yeah? And where would that be?
"In YO MOM!
diss on us, I really can’t believe that people still find that offensive omfg.
"OH MASKY, SHOW ME YOUR WAYS!
"Guys, this is serious I’m fucked in a lot of ways if we
don’t get something done about this. I don’t want to have to confront ‘the
tentacles’ ever again, you got that?
"I WANT TO RIDE THE TENTACLES.
DONE AS FUCK WITH THIS SHIT, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.
"Alex, stop.
"No.
here.
"WILL MY TORMENT NEVER END?
This went on for over fifteen minutes before anyone actually
Line 113:
"Wait. Why don’t we wait for Firebrand to go to Noah and
ambush him then?
"Alright, we’ll do that, it’s the only good suggestion we’ve
had so far.
"Yeah ok then.
A convenient space-time rift opens and we all jump in. We
find ourselves outside of Noah’s house.
"Everyone shut the fuck up and don’t make a sound.
whisper, stepping on a twig in the process.
"HERE COMES THE SON!
don’t know the word if there is one, and fuck if I’m searching it up.
"Shut the fuck up!
Firebrand walks over to Noah’s house as we all watch from
the bushes.
"Get ready to fuckin go.
"We’re going on a mission, start the countdown.
"5, 4, 3, 2, 1 GO!
bushes and go into Mr Maxwell’s house.
Line 144:
cookies in all the rooms.
"Imma go find Noah.
to fend for ourselves.
"YOU’VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD!
corner with Caliborn, Gamzee, Rick, Morty, Toki and Big Da Cat.
"What the fuck is this? Everyone in his group except for Big
Da Cat is awesome as fuck, but nooo, we just had to be put against some of the
dankest ass motherfuckers the multiverse had to offer didn’t we?
everything that is going on.
"Kono Dio Da!
so! My friend’s senpai walks into the room. Dio, Bitchin’, Brando.
"Well we’re fucked time to go.
room.
"Goodbye everyone, it was nice knowing you.
forgetting I have demon powers and could take down at least half of these
idiots in 0.9 seconds.
Line 172:
Caliborn is knocked to the ground and runs away.
"So… Are you Egbert or Cena?
"Cebert.
"OH YEAH BABY LIKE THAT!
room.
"I’m done. Everyone retreat. Give these people some privacy.
Firebrand orders. Him and his gang all get into a portal and go back to
wherever it is that they are going.
"SPACE-TIME RIP MASTER RACE YOU PIECE OF ASS!
into the portal before it closes. Firebrand just sticks up his middle finger at
him.
"HABIT, WHEN YOU’RE DONE IN THERE WE’RE GOING!
knocked on the bedroom door, clearly done with this shit.
"In a minute, OH YEAH BABY!
"Well, now I know why his name rhymes with
Observer says.
"If you don’t mind, we’re going to go wait outside.
tells The Observer.
"Go find Tim and Jay while you’re at it. Fucking pussies.
Wow Observer, rude!
"Sure, whatever Kev.
THERE’S A GAY SEX PARTY GOING ON AND YOU’RE INVITED!
"OH BOY!
GSP?
"There isn’t one.
you want to join in with Noah and
"Oi, guys get ready to go.
getting ready to open a space-time rip instead of one just randomly opening
this time.
"Call me, Noah!
"Yeah, sure
OBSERVER FUCK!
"Aww shit idiot!
the N word is because he’s black IRL and as The Observer.)
"So, did anyone else like the chicken, I thought the chicken
was lovely!
matter and that I had just made the situation 80x more awkward.
"Let’s just go.
in space-time.
"STOP SENDING ME SEXTS YOU ABSOLUTE…!
his sentence before the rip closed.
"So… John. You know anything about Dio or Firebrand or
whatever’s going on?
"Well, characters from different universes have been going
missing and Firebrand has something to do with it.
"Ok then. But do you know where they are?
get more answers from John.
"Whateverthefuck Castle. That’s where their base is.
"Alrighty then. So, how are we going to get there?
John Cebert summons a giant flying carpet and beckons us
onto it.
"Squadala, we’re off!
to lift the carpet into the air. It’s only two seconds in however, when we
realise that we’re going to have to teleport in, as the magic carpet is utterly
fucking shit. And it’s raining.
"Who’s up for some teleportation space-time bendy bullshit?
I ask everyone. They all raise their hands, except for John.
"You can’t, it’s protected by ‘The Whimsical Magic of the
Fleshlights’.
a sex toy possibly possess apart from the ability to make magic in the down
below area?
"Well fuck. What are we going to do then? I’m presuming no
flights go to this area?
"Well, we could get on a private jet to North Korea where
the base is located, but we’ll have to find a way to get out of the jet before
we’re gunned down, as the rest of North Korea is protected by these magical
plastic vagina holes.
"Anyone here have time warping powers then?
questioned us, but before any of us could answer, he thought of something. "Oh
yeah, we could ask Slendy to use his powers to warp time, but he might need
some persuasion.
There’s a short pause.
"I’M NOT BEING THE ONE WHO GETS TENTACLES UP MY BUTTHOLE!
The Observer starts.
"ME NEITHER!
was Alex.
"Aww man guys, he already fucks with my mind way too much, I
don’t want him fucking with my body either!
fuckin team, GAWD!
"I have an idea!
should get Brian to do it!
"Done, deal. He’s probably into that sort of shit anyway.
The Observer shivers.
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done is done.
"Alright, let’s go all GTA on this shit!
board a private jet (which we had to sneak on or else we’d be without
transportation.) In order for this to work, we were going to need to get control
Line 308:
ALLAHU *belch*
ACKBAR! WE’RE GONNA TAKE CONTROL OF THIS PLANE AND WE’RE GONNA 9/11 IT UNLESS
BURNINGTORRENT GETS BETTER GRADES IN MATHS!
a Rick and Morty reference. We meant go full ISIS on this bitch!
Line 315:
"GIVE US THE
FUCKING PLANE!
"KKK.
pilot says as he and his companion go into the main body of the plane. Somehow,
all 9 of us manage to fit in the cockpit, and also, Allini knows how to fly an
Line 323:
"SLENDY GET
YO BITCH ASS TO WORK AND USE THE TIMEY WARP WARP POWERS RIGHT ABOUT… NOW!
Observer shouts into the phone, just as we are crossing the border to North
Korea. Surprisingly, we managed to do it just in time. Any second later, and
Line 334:
"So, where do
we head now?
"We can
teleport now that we’re past the border, so I’ll open up the rift this time.
John summons all of his power, and creates an unstable rift, but we should be
fine.
Line 346:
"So, what should we do first, find the trapped characters,
or find Firebrand and Dio?
"Find those two mofos. Some of the characters are probably
really horny from being exposed to the magical fleshlight radiation for too
long. Trust me, you don’t want to deal with them when they’re like that,
especially not while fighting.
"But wait, doesn’t that mean we’ll be affected too?
"If we get going now and defeat all of these motherfuckers,
we should be fine.
destination. I get my weapon out ready, as does everyone else.
"Guys, be quiet, I hear something.
we remain quiet. Around the corner, we see… GOLDEN FLESHLIGHTS IN A SUITCASE!?
But… Oh my god! What if they’re harnessing energy from the characters and using
Line 365:
(Well other than the obvious, duh!)
"We storm this operation, NOW!
but they all come along eventually.
We burst into the room.
"BANG, BANG IT’S THE POLICE, NOW PREPARE TO DIE FUCKBOIIIIS!
I shout.
"You’re too late, foolish mortals!
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO THOSE POOR CHARACTERS AND
WHAT ARE THOOOOSE!?
meme joke ok?
"Well, the characters are giving us some really dank energy
to power these special edition gold fleshlights. We are using the fleshlights
to create a doomsday device, and for… other
"Ewww, noooo!
"Tim, get your mind out of the fucking gutter, we’re using
them so we can fuse.
"That’s even worse!
"We’ll do it right now, we’ve been needing to test this.
"Dio Sama!
"Firebrand!
"DNA DIGIVOLVE TO…!
[[File:Firebrando.png|thumb|297x297px|"It was me, Firebrando!"]]
"FIREBRANDO!
beat.
"Now my minions… RISE!
little shits.
Line 411:
"B-but fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak characters
stronger!
and destroys my Gawd Sword.
"You were saying?
scene.
Line 426:
minions, and we’re all pretty much defenceless.
"WHAT ABILITIES DOES EVERYONE HAVE!?
"I CAN KILL AT LEAST SOME OF THEM OFF WITH MY DEMON POWERS,
THE REST OF YOU ARE PRETTY MUCH USELESS, EXCEPT EVAN!
"WHY THE FUCK ARE WE SHOUTING?
of his lungs.
"I DON’T KNOW, BUT WE SHOULD PROBABLY START FIGHTING THEM
NOW!
Sarkeesian just in time.
"NO! I CANNOT BE CORRUPTED BY THAT MOVEMENT!
female, no, I am not a feminist because modern feminism is bullshit in my
honest opinion. Please don’t make me go on a rant about how it used to be a
Line 479:
favourite Youtuber.)
"No, stop! I run a gaming channel!
"No, sorry. Now that I’ve removed the knife you’ll bleed out
in a matter of seconds.
"Well, at least it wasn’t Comic Sans this time. Tell my Ordinary
Gamers… I love them!
returning to my battle.
Line 510:
in the chin, before kicking him in the nuts.
"DEEEEEZ NUTS! HAHAH GOT EEEM!
subsequently killed himself because of the shitty meme joke.
Devdev Booday and Tavrisol were against Caliborn and Gamzee.
"DIE AGENDER SCUM! JUST IDENTIFY AS MALE AND YOU’RE AUTOMATICALLY BETTER THAN
EVERYONE ELSE!
just zoned out.
Line 523:
rest of us.
"I don’t think that motherfucker’s coming back! HONK!
Gamzee shouted, and everyone started fighting again.
Devdev Booday ran over to Gamzee.
"WEEEEEESNAAAAAAAW!
all turned to look and pretty much everyone mouthed a silent ‘What the fuck?’
Line 542:
and shot him in the chest, killing him.
"Hey look, Jay, it’s you!
(No it wasn’t, it’s been around two years since then, but the feels are still strong.)
"Lol fuk u Alex.
I know I said that Allini and Jussiu helped us with the
Line 554:
"ALRIGHT GUYS, I THINK WE SHOULD CONBINE ALL OF OUR POWERS
INTO ONE MASSIVE ATTACK.
"STOP FUCKING SHOUTING, HE KNOWS OUR PLAN NOW.
screech.
"Well shit.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Firebrando, what the fuck?
Line 567:
it fails.
"EVERYONE FUCKING
"CHARGE, MY MINIONS!
doors behind us open revealing… SLENDERMAN AND A BUNCH OF MINIONS!? (THIS TIME
IT IS THE YELLOW LITTLE SHITS!)
Line 577:
I’m sorry, The Operator, grabs Firebrand with one of his tentacles.
"You’ve been a very naughty boy Firebrand.
"NO DADDY NOT THE TENTACLES!
"Yes, the tentacles. EN GARDE!
Minions all run out of the open doors before closing them again.
"You guys do realise that you now owe me a KFC and a trip to
Alton Towers right?
"FUCK!
This was going to be great.
Line 595:
"BT, can we go back in time, I want to ride the Smiler, you
know, before it crashes.
"Fine, but I have no idea where we’ll end up; my powers aren’t
really time oriented. They’re more spacey. I’ll be able to get us back here
though, because I don’t fucking know, main character plot convenience?
"WOOOOOO!
at us.
"Jay, shut the fuck up I have anxiety!
bares his knife and basically tells him to stop, and everyone else in the
restaurant gets the message.
Line 610:
"Well gee, thanks Evan or HABIT or whatever the fuck you
are. You’re actually a nice guy, you know, when you’re not getting a raging
boner from killing everyone!
"KILLING MAKES MY DICK HARD!
really have to reference Mutahar’s modded GTA videos? I’m still suffering from
the fact that he’s dead if my theory isn’t true.
"Hey, before we go back in time, do you want to make a prank
call?
"FUCK YEAH!
I dial a random number. I get ready to do my best Kermit the
Line 633:
You need, you need, you need to help me with PC Optimiser Pro! Help me! Yes,
yes you will, yes you will. You will help me! Yes, you wanna. wanna give me a hand
job in the bathroom? You wanna, you wanna rub the lizard? You wanna, you wanna?
Memory skillz ftw. Everyone was laughing their asses off despite most f them
not getting the reference.
Line 640:
"Lol fuk u den. I’ll have you know that I sexually identify
as an attack helicopter.
"Oh my god. That was great! NOW TIME TO GO TO BRITISH DIDNEY
WORL!
in there. We all jump through and end up inside Alton Towers.
"ALRIGHT, FREE SHIT!
"Wow! You ready to go on the Smiler Tim?
"I don’t know. Something doesn’t feel right about this.
"JUST DO IT!
"Like in the Adidas logo?
So proud 2k15 BT for prime minister!)
"No, like the quote said by M Night Shyamalan.
"This whole conversation is a fucking train wreck. It’s like
a metaphorical Titanic that hit a metaphorical iceberg. Or just a metaphorical
9/11, but that’s WAY too offensive for PG 13.
"Since when the hell was this trying to be PG 13?
Observer questions me.
"When Devdev Booday attempted to grind on Gamzee, when else?
Tavrisol replies.
"WEEEEEEESNAAAAAAW!
"You know what, fuck this, we’ll meet up at this spot in an
hour from now, let’s go!
HABIT, Jay and Tim (really fucking good idea, I know.) Jussiu, Allini, Alex and
John go off in another, and Tavrisol, Devdev and The Observer make a threesome.
Line 679:
"So, I’ll wait for you guys while you’re on The Smiler.
After all, you might need saving quickly if anything goes wrong, we don’t know
where we are in space-time, so yeah.
impatient and wields his knife, making people move out of the way. Also,
EverymanHYBRID fangirls (and even some fanboys) were chanting something along
the lines of: "FUCK ME EVAN, FUCK ME EVAN, FUCK ME HARD, FUCK ME HARD!
is actually shocking because I would’ve though more people would be yelling for
Tim, considering the fact Marble Hornets is well, the most fucking popular
Line 689:
"If you want me to stab and penetrate you with this knife,
then stand in my way!
them to get to the front of the line.
Line 697:
"Firebrand is here, Firebrand is near, Firebrand is blazing
it in your ear.
"FIREBRAND?! But, I thought Slendy was tenta-fucking you!
The Observer was confused. Slendy never let HIM off that easily, and he was
probably the most loyal member of the fucking Collective.
"He went back to Brian.
"Well, now that you’re here, I guess we should put our
differences aside and ride the Rapids together.
"I was going to anyway.
and got ready to go on.
Line 715:
Jussiu Strolt, and Allini Preyer.
"You know I really wanna fuck Jay so much at the moment.
Ok, the first sentence is invigorating, and totally not an overused conversation
starter in Trollpasta.
"You know I really wanna ride Oblivion at the moment. I
mean, shut the fuck up about your overactive penis.
"Alright guys, calm down, tone the sexual tension down a
bit, we need to do something before this hour is up.
"Well let’s go fucking ride Oblivion then before a certain
fan troll has an emotional breakdown.
the same time, kinda makes the situation worse.
Line 745:
crash into each other.
"I really fucked up this time!
I use my telepathy to save HABIT, Tim and Jay from the
wreckage, because fuck everyone else.
"HEY, WE WERE ENJOYING THAT!
"Well sorry, but Tim did say BEFORE it crashed, he didn’t
specify how long before and I can’t do anything about that shit anyway!
HABIT grabs his knife and goes on a massive killing spree.
"Fuck this, I’m done. If any of you are ready to leave, come
through this rip, it won’t close until all of you are back.
the rip and shit goes downhill from there.
Line 764:
Rapids.
"Well shit, looks like it’s time for me to go, bye for now!
Firebrand leaves all of them behind and teleports back to the Collective base.
"I’m reforming ISIS, and you’re the bomber, Jussiu.
murmurs to Jussiu.
"I’M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR OVERUSED BOMB JOKES!
before warping back in time with Allini to sometime before the events of
Hamstuk Fenfec.
"I’m out, bye bitches.
Firebrand.
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