DuckDieNasty.RM: Difference between revisions

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DuckDieNasty.RM (view source)

Revision as of 10:54, 17 June 2021

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"Dad, Jase, y'all gotta stop! Y'all're gonna mess up the space-time continuum if y'keep playin' around with the laws a physics an' such!" The show cut to the usual interview over background defocused stock footage with Willie facing the camera—clearly it was composited using Autodesk Smoke 2011. He shook his head.
 
"I done told that John Luke a thousan' times, ‘there'there ain't but one law on this Earth, and it's the law of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ." The show returned to WIllie, Jase, and John Luke in front of a chalkboard covered in equations and poorly drawn penises. Still unsure, John Luke sat down in a comfy-looking swivel chair and considered the math. He furrowed his brows and turned to his father, puzzled.
 
"I just don' see it, Dad," he said. "The symmetry of the system jus' don't allow y'all to cancel the imaginary part of the wavefunction—an' I'm pretty sure the total energy ain't equal to some dude's junk."
 
"That ain't just ‘some'some dude,' John Luke!" Jase interrupted. "That there's ''my ''family jewels."
 
Just then Si opened the door, got on the floor, and did the Dinosaur.
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When I returned from the stockroom, successful in my mission, Beaux was there waiting for me, shotgun aimed at my chest.
 
"Ya got ‘em'em?" he asked. I nodded and handed over the three calls. He began to laugh maniacally, his voice lowering to an unsettling bass. "Finally!" he shouted. "My apotheosis will be complete! With the sacred calls of Willie, Si, and Jase, I can enter this world permanently and become a real Robertson!"
 
The duck calls began to glow. The signatures of the Robertsons burned bright yellow and streamers of light flowed from the calls into Beaux. Then suddenly it all stopped. The glow faded and the streamers cut off. Beaux looked terrified and angered.
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