Fireman Sam: Lost Episode: Difference between revisions
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I told them that I would put the tape back, but I replaced it with a fraudulent one, a video of an old birthday party involving Barney where some of the parents were drinking wine and driving recklessly. The tape was oddly titled: "Summer 1976." I immediately got into my car and drove home, locked the door and put the tape in. What follows is a very, very strange VHS, one that I should not talk about, but since I am doing it under anonymous circumstances I am certain I can divulge. The show used cutting edge CG, and it was part of the reason why I was such a huge fan. CG like this only comes around every decade or so, the highest quality CG: but here, Fireman Sam's eyes were very wide and slightly bloodshot, the artist had taken care to draw the veins.
I
You see fireman
"I'M GONNA NEED BACK UP!" Fireman Sam yells, as the dead woman lay there, pulsing, writhing and choking. She was dead. Fireman
"And how old are you, little Flamey?" He kneels down and shakes hands with the flame. His hand catches on fire. "Boy, we got a crowd in here!" It was fire man Sam. "Nice to meet all of you! No need to thank me-" He was talking to the growing flame that now covered the exit. "AHHH!" He screamed. He was being burned. Fireman Sam was being burned by the flames! You see his blood, guts and internal organs sizzling as his shoes melt into the floor, and the flame begins to burn the flesh on his face, burn it down to a skull, and the skull was burning. "Oh- an autographfpprphtht-" His tongue had melted into his cheek.
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But something, very, VERY strange happened next. The VHS tape player, an old one I borrowed from a relative, began to sizzle and produce smoke. I went and hit it, to stop the smoke. In doing so, I pressed play. The tape continued. Fireman Sam was talking, over his dead body, that had been burned, and his skeleton being consumed by flame as well. "Fire consumes, makes things bright to show us the way, but it can also burn us and kill us. " What in god's name? "Fire is like the sun, we need it to survive, but it will also horribly burn us if we get too close." WHAT was a shitty Greek mythology reference doing in Mattel's programming lineup? You see a hand-drawn portrait of the devil in the corner. Some chanting begins.
"I was confused." Fireman Sam continued. "I came out of this as a GCSE equivalent graduate, with hopes and dreams, a desire to quell the flames, and soon I became the flames. I didn't realize how strange it was to be anything at all, I tried to stake a claim to oxygen, heat and any physical material, and that was me, I was the physical material, and nature did the rest. I'm dead now, forever." Fire man Sam said. "All the people I tried to save are gone, forever. But I couldn't save
I was suddenly transfixed. And yes, my VHS tape player was still smoking, but the skeleton, or what was left of it, was talking. The scary thing, and I know you won't believe me, is that skeletons burn. "That's why I no longer feel disheveled." The smoke began to cover the artificial camera that existed in fictional CGI space.
"At first it hurts." He continued, but the screen was just gray with an occasional smoke flicker. "But the idea of "hurt" is relative. You only feel pain because pain is related to non-pain, but soon non-pain exists, and nothing hurts,
Suddenly my fire alarm went off. The smoke from the VHS had started to obscure the screen of my 80's bubble television. A flame was travelling up the wall behind me. The VHS power cord looked like a flaming snake, "Sus
The flames blocked the door, as I had set up the VHS tape player and bubble tv just two feet from the entrance. There were no fire exists, as I had hired an independent contractor to cover the rear exit, to create a breakfast nook. But I didn't want breakfast right now. But now the flames had covered everything. The VHS tape player cracked and contorted, it was smiling at me! "Happy Halloween!" it chortled, like modems squealing out of holes in its cheeks. It was disheveled, we're all disheveled, everybody's disheveled. A feeling of spiraling out of control, a feeling of complete and total loss of control.
I called 911- "HELP ME FIRE MAN SAM!" But it was just a dialtone. The 911 operator wasn't there, nobody picked up. "SAVE ME SAMSUS!" A satanic figure emerged from the background, with red eyes, dementia and a pitchfork and tail. He smiled. "I want you to meet my son." The flames continued to eat the background. "His name is David Berkowitz, but you may know him
That's how it is, you know, breathe in and out. Drugs to keep you calm. Your nerves still hurt, but the pathway to your brain doesn't know it. Prescription medicine that does less than over the counter ones. You say "bless you" when someone sneezes, because their heart stops for a second. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Jet fuel can't melt steel beams. That's the great thing about fire though, it's not superstitious. It doesn't discriminate. Now, as I said earlier, you're supposed to carry fire insurance, you're supposed to carry fire insurance, in case of a fire. And that's what I did. I did everything the boss told me to, that's exactly, what I did. So I'll tell you what! That's enough about you, let's talk about me!
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