The Mario Helpline: Difference between revisions

The phone rang for what seemed like five minutes and then it was answered and I heard the voice of that plumber we all know and love "It's a-me, Mario! you are on the phone with a Mario. Thank you so much for playing my game!" and I said "Mario why are your games so easy bro? I beat all your games what are you goanna do about it" and then there was a silence that seemed to go on for fifteen seconds and then Mario said "Okey dokey, yousa are gonna to regret this. You want a hard game I give you the hardest game of them all" and I thought he meant that they were going to send my the legendary Mario rom hack made by Nintendo themselves but it turned out to be something much worse and now I cannot think of Mario as anything more than something wicked...something evil.[[File:1649004290755s.jpg|right|125x73]]Nothing strange happened at first apart from the crazy preacher who was always raving outside the school looked me in the eyes and said "God is coming to rape the sinners" but I didn't think anything of that just crazy old Rory raving again. But he must have known about the evil that was coming for me and my friends, if only I had listened.

Then there was another phone call and I answered it and there was silence for what seemed like thirty seconds and I almost thought it was one of those strange cold callers but I should be so lucky it was that monstrous plumber "Mario time! I coming to slit you throat! Wa-hoo! And then I will gut you like a pig! Here we go!". I heard those dreaded words and I slammed down the phone.[[File:D7hftxdivxxvm.cloudfront.net.png|right|206x206px]]Then I had the greatest revelation yet, Mario clothes were not just red because they are blood stained but red because Mario is a communist bastard and red is the color of Communism! Those Chinese reds are using Mario to destroy good Christian kids like me and Mario is the key part of that. Mario is really Maorio and he is coming to kill me.