Minecraft AI Conspiracy: Difference between revisions
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When I was nine years old, the things I loved most in life were Shrek and of course, Legos. So when Minecraft was released, it was like a wet dream come true. Well for me any way, my parents were probably shitting themselves each time a different version of the game was released, as I would always ask them to buy it. EVEN if I
But everything changed in the Summer of 2015. I was only thirteen years old. SkyDoesMinecraft was my idol. Minecraft was getting pretty shit. But I was too much of a hipster to care. It was that fateful day when the zombie apocalypse occurred. Nobody saw it coming.
Now, twenty years later at the age of thirty three, with my parents dead, I will tell you how this dreaded event occurred. It all started when Notch sold Minecraft to Microsoft, and Microsoft being the power hungry corporate whores they are decided to uze de gaem for the evilz!
On January 18<sup>th</sup> 2015 I was watching anime on some shitty site that I will not name here. The anime was called Junjou Romantica. It Is The Best Anime EvArZzZz! (Even for a male like me). It was half way through one episode where Usame was banging Misaki when I decided
My dad walked into his office. (I
I immediately called social services, and Sebastian Michaelis answered the phone.
What the fuck?
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bonzaiboodi command and ended up right in front of me just as my dad was about to beat me, and massacred my father.
I was let out, and my mum let me live at home again, which I
This is where the real story begins.
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March 19<sup>th</sup> 2015.
I was on my computer, and I decided to see how much more shit Minecraft had become. I then saw that in September of 2014 Notch had sold Minceraft to Miscrosoft. So
Minecraft 4.2.0.
The update was released today, I searched it up online, but
+ Something that I
+ Something that I
+ Vqrrs Gdzj (Still not quite sure what this means. Could be something to do with Caesar
+ Something that I
+ Something that I
+ Something that I
+ Added Herobrine
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Wait wut? ADDED H-H-H-H-HEROBRINE!?
This concept was unfathomable to my brain, and still is. My life flashed before my eyes. I managed to pull myself together and call it bullshit. I clicked the grey
Fook yus!
When the game finally loaded, I accidentally clicked on '
Wow, these game developers must have had their fair share of Caesar salad. (Or maybe they were just really fucking high, I
I looked to see how many players were online. There were 2 out of 420 players.
The server icon was a bludd red heroine with his whit eyze
So, who was this mysterious
I should mention at this point the graphics were EXTREMELY realistic. Almost HYPER realistic. Were Microsoft turning this game into an MMO? Who is Daeton? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!
No, this SRS BSNS! I
I clicked on the server and went on it. The two other players online were
Then it all came back to me, the events of the Autumn of 11 came flooding back to me.
''
BUT WAIT.
Why would the game know about my personal experience that happened when I was only nine? This
As I started to run away, I was teleported to a dark room, there I saw the two other players on the server. We just stood and staird at eachova 4 aboot 69.9 seconds.
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TwilightFan offered me some MTN DEW and som doritios, but I kindly replied:
It was then that I realised something. If MTN DERW was in teh gaem den hoe deid Microshizzle get copyright? This was sorcery, and it almost made me shit myself.
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But then, something happened that turned my shit in to putrid diarrhoea.
WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?11//1/11//11/1//1/11/
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Then, Madara apperd in front of us but then, the plot thickend!
A figure started to appear next to Madara.
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HoRy ShEeT.
It was then that I had a flashback. I
As soon as I thought about that horrifying memory, Bill GAYtes said something that shook me to my core.
My
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Contract
Somehow all these events were connected with this
Was Usame from Junjou Romantica connected with this?
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Were JR, TWLGHT and medieval history somehow interconnected with this mess of a tragedy?
I still
Then, the world closed.
I had a strange dream that night, a Really strange dream. And
I was trolling some random guy on minecraft, and he sent me a video. I clicked on the link, and was sent to a video page. It was then that I finally got some answers.
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The title of the video was:
Everything was finally answered in this video, this one second video that changed me in so many ways, physically, mentally, spiritually, and even, sexually. It felt like I had just had the greatest sex ever. (I kno wut
It was 7:30AM and time to get redy 4 skewl. I waked to skewl and noticed that the gates were barren, nobodee waz der. Seeing this, I went home to find my mum on her computer and asked her politely what in the actual fuck was going on.
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She answered with:
When I got home, I noticed a page was opened. It was the video from my dream.
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I watched it, and after it had finished playing, I noticed the room went a pale white. Static was everywhere, along with the surreally, spontaneous, orgasmic appearance of the super special awesome super sexy HyPaR rEaLiStIc BlUuD (on the dance floor, god that band gives me a boner, STILL.DEFINITELY.NOT.GAY.)
Herobrine appeared before me, I
I woke up, I was no longer in my house, I was outside a craply build green pyramid.
[[File:Screenshottotallynotfotoshopped.png|thumb|272x272px|Thiz waz teh screen shawt, yez I took 1. I have no idea hoe my cumpooter savd eet. Eet stil givs me nitmares.]]
A triangle with a top hat popped out from the behind of the murky gren pyramyid. ▼
Absolutely nothing bad happened, it just gave me explosive diarrhoea that I’ve had to live with for the entirety of this shitty existence of mine. That’s how scary that fucking jump scare was, five nights at freddys had absolutely no shizz on dat shizzleshit. ▼
▲Absolutely nothing bad happened, it just gave me explosive diarrhoea that
That's how scary that fucking jump scare was, five nights at freddys had absolutely no shizz on dat shizzleshit.
Were my parents in the Illuminati?
I
I was then taken to the dark room agen. A thought hit me. Did I leave the midget porn open? No, that
Bill Gates and Madara appeared in front of me.
Did they not realise they were talking about their personal matters in front of someone?
It was Akihiko Swaggy Usame. I knew that mother fucker had some role in the grand scheme of things. Oh, and by the way, Bill was still having a seizure at this point, just fort I shud let u kno. K den now bak 2 plat.
[[File:DDD.png|thumb|258x258px|Akihiko Swaggy Usame]]
“But weren’t you going out with…?!!?!?!?!??!!?!?” I exclaimed.▼
Then all of a sudden the smell of weed could be smelt in the air. I was starting to remember that song, the song that made me so hard.
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Snoop Dogg appeared.
He the shot a lazer from his mouth and managed to krill
Madara and Akihiko. I was so depressed.
When I woke up, I saw a packet of cannabis on my bed, had this just been a bad trip?
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Outside I saw zombies.
The Daeton One Conspiracy was now in place.
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The zombies are all dead, but not before all having a massive gang bang with each other. I am the last human alive in this country.
The illuminati have taken over, and Shrek, oh Shrek,
SkyDoesMinecraft is still my idol, even though he and Pewdiepie came out as the rulers of the Illuminati, and they caused all this shit to happen. I still love them.
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As I write this, I am near death dew to lack of sweg. This is the last time I will ever be alive. Evar.
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''Teh Sequel: [[Minecraft AI Conspiracy The Second]]''
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