Squidward's Overdose
I was an intern at Nickelodeon. "Was" becuase...well, I kinda quit.
Now, you may ask "Why did you quit a job that could probably get you a lot of money??". Two reasons. One, it kinda sucked and the boss at that point in time was an a$$ (despite the fact that i have quit, i have already sold my soul to nick and cannot write swear words without censoring them in some way.), so of course I was happy when he died, and two...This strange godawful "fan episode".
Now sit down, shut up, grab your popcorn, and read my awful experience.
SpongeBob SquarePants. The mascot of Nickelodeon. At this point, he would never die. Nothing could kill him. Quite literally. It was popular with children and adults around the world. Some people made things inspired by it, some made theories about it, and some people even made "fan episodes". However, there was one...One so awful, so terrible, so f##king cliched, that I literally quit my job. I had been thinking about it for five months now, but this made me decide that it was the right decision.
I was looking through the internet (It was our lunch break), and then I eventually got this email from the assistant manager (much nicer than the boss) titled "COME QUICKLY". I decided to stop eating and go to her office. Upon opening the door, I calmly asked, "You wanted to see me, Mrs. Lodeon?" She looked at me and responded "Yes, please have a seat." I sat down in a chair. I was wondering what was going on and why she wanted to see me at this time. It was during this time I noticed that three other employees were coming in. One was an animator, one was another intern, and one was a writer. They sat down in the other three chairs. "So," Alyssa, the animator, said, "Why did you tell us to come here?"
Mrs. Lodeon pulled out a USB drive and plugged it into her computer. After a few seconds, she turned the screen around. It was on the File Explorer application, but it showed one file: "SquidwardOverdose.sb3". "You wouldn't have anything to do with this, would you?" It made sense that she thought we were responsible for the title, as we did joke around with the titles of episodes when looking at them before their release, changing it to things like "mr krabz take off ur clothes". The only problem with this theory: The file was an sb3. SpongeBob was not animated on Scratch.
Nipes, the writer, looked at it and said "We had nothing to do with this. You know that's an sb3, right?" Mrs. Lodeon looked at the file again and confirmed that we did not have anything to do with this. She explained that she got this USB from a child. He had just said "Spong fan!!" and then ran away after giving her the USB. She plugged it into her computer and opened the sb3.
"I saw terrible things on there. I'd like you to take a look at it," she said.
The other intern, Labls, accepted this offer, so naturally, we accepted it as well. Labls was cute. I knew her from middle school and had a crush on her. She knew this, mainly because I told her at one point.
Shortly after that, we told the boss that we were going to leave the building for a bit. We didn't say why, we just said "Assistant manager's orders." He allowed it and we left. We all went to Labls' house. It had very bright colors like pink and green. These colors for some reason made me slightly hard. We went into her room where she then plugged the USB into her computer. She opened the sb3 on Scratch. Sure enough, the episode was titled "Squidward's Overdose". Labls pressed the green flag and we sat on her bed to watch.
The episode began with the intro as usual, but it was very low quality, like it was turned into a gif and uploaded onto Scratch. For some reason the audio was low quality as well. After the intro, the title card came up. It read, in big red letters and the "Chiller" font, "SQUIDWARD'S OVERDOSE." The background contained multiple pills and krabby patties. It looked like an awful MS Paint drawing. The music playing was the Kevin MacLeod song "Come Play With Me". This was horrible already. After the title card disappeared, it cut to the Krusty Krab. The usual music as playing. It zoomed into the Krusty Krab and faded to Squidward working at the cash register. "Another day, another migraine..." He said. He pulled out a newspaper and began reading. Squidward was merely a bunch of different PNG renders of himself. Eventually, a PNG of Fred the Fish walked towards the register and said "One krabby patty please." Squidward responded "Go f### yourself." Fred punched Squidward in the foot. "I said, ONE. KRABBY. PATTY. NOW." Squidward, out of anger, pulled out what looked like the infamous Nasty Patty. "Here, take it!" He yelled as he shoved it down Fred's throat, sending him flying. He screamed "MY LEG!" before he disappeared.
Mr. Krabs then walked in, with a rage-filled look. He was also a PNG render. "MR. SQUIDWARD!" He screamed, "IS THAT HOW WE SHOULD BE TREATIN' OUR MONEY?!" Squidward gave Mr. Krabs the middle finger in response. It was very poorly edited. Almost everything was some kind of PNG. "I hate this job. I hate you, and I hate your entire family. Why do you even exist, Krabs?" Squidward said. Mr. Krabs then lost his sh#t. He grabbed Squidward by the neck and began strangling him. Squidward was choking. I could even see hyperrealistic blood coming out of his eyes. "Mr. Squidward, if you cannot clean up your act in one week, YOU'RE FIRED!" Mr. Krabs said. He let Squidward go. "Now get out of my restaurant!" Squidward walked outside and said "When I come back, you'll fear me, Krabs!" Spongebob came out of the kitchen and asked if Squidward was alright. Mr. Krabs told Spongebob to shut up. Spongebob then went back into the kitchen to make more krabby patties. It cut to Squidward in New Kelp City. The Kevin MacLeod song "Classic Horror 3" played. After two minutes of Squidward walking through NKC, the screen cut to black and the music stopped. This stayed for about 10 seconds. It then cut to Squidward near a random building, only it wasn't in New Kelp City. It looked rather hyperrealistic. Squidward was talking to a hyperrealistic shark PNG with a poorly drawn suit. "I need some way to get away from all this stress," Squidward said. "Can you help me out?" The fish pulled out a pill. "Take this and all your problems will go away." He said. Squidward paid $10 for 5 bags of the pill. It cut to black for 5 seconds. Then it showed Squidward in his house, listening to SpongeBob and Patrick annoy him just by existing. Squidward then took one pill out of a bag and swallowed it. Seconds after, his eyes got larger. The background started changing colors slowly. Several krabby patties were just flying for no reason. The "Dombummel" music started playing, however it was slowed down. After ten seconds, it stopped. Squidward's eyes were now a light red.
"Dear god, these pills are AMAZING!!" Squidward held up the pill. A short "hallelujah" sound started playing. It cut to black. White text appeared that said "One week later..." After five seconds, it cut to the Krusty Krab. The usual music was playing. Fred came back in. He once again asked for a krabby patty. "That will be $10." Squidward said. He looked happier than he usually did. Mr. Krabs came in and put his claw on Squidward's shoulder. "Mr. Squidward, you've been doing much better than you were a week ago! Keep this up, your happy additude is making me more money than ever!" He said. He then walked off. Squidward then started reading his newspaper. Soon, tons of fish PNGs were surrounding Squidward. The music started to lower in pitch. All of the fish were chanting the same thing until it became a madness mantra.
"One krabby patty, please."
Squidward started breathing heavily, and after five seconds, his eyes became bloodshot. Two seconds later, it cut to him at the register. There was only one customer standing in front of him. "Uh, hello?" he said. "I gotta have more." Squidward said quietly. He then jumped out of the boat he sat in as he screamed "I GOTTA HAVE MORE!!!!" The Grass Skirt Chase music started playing as Squidward began running toward his house. He was running for 10 seconds before he reached his house, grabbed all five bags, stuffed them in his shirt, and then ran all the way back to the Krusty Krab. He then entered the Patty Vault. He grabbed about 20 Krabby Patties before walking out. "Mr. Squidward, what are you doing?!" Mr. Krabs asked. "Uh...I was hungry," Squidward said. Mr. Krabs noticed the patties and allowed him to consume them. Squidward went to an empty table. He then put his arms under the table, stuffing the pill in the krabby patty. He then ate the patty. As he ate it, his pupils got bigger and the background started to rapidly change colors, with that Dombummel music playing. As Squidward consumed more patties and stuffed the pills in them, the music started to get lower in pitch, and the background got darker and darker until it was completely black. The music changed to a menacing reversed tune. After five seconds of a black screen, It cut to several screenshots of Squidward being tormented throughout seasons 1-3. After 20 seconds of the Squidward torture slideshow, the music stopped and it cut to black again. A faceless Squidward appeared onscreen. After five seconds, a slowed down Super Mario Bros. coin sound played as white text appeared on the bottom of the screen.
"it's all their fault."
After 10 seconds, Squidward's face hyperrealistically melted. When it finished melting, it cut to black for 10 seconds. It then cut to Gary sleeping in SpongeBob's room. Squidward's arm appeared and grabbed Gary. He let out a loud "meow" as he was taken offscreen. This woke up SpongeBob. "Gary, where did you go?" He asked. He then looked around the house without any sign of Gary. Eventually, Squidward walked up behind SpongeBob and punched him. Squidward now had red eyes with black pupils. He then held up Gary's corpse and threw the bottom on SpongeBob's face. He then pulled Gary off and ripped SpongeBob's face off.
It proceeded to a montage of Squidward killing many residents of Bikini Bottom, like Patrick, Pearl, Mrs. Puff, etc. Soon it cut to Mr. Krabs in his office. He was counting his money. After ten seconds, Squidward broke down the door. "Hello, Eugene." He said. Mr. Krabs' smile turned into a look of fear. He hid all his money. "I'm not going to take your money," Squidward said. "I'm going to take something much more worthless." He then jumped at Krabs and pinned him to the floor. "SpongeBob will help, I'm sure of it!!" he said. Squidward then laughed. He then put both of his hands on Mr. Krabs' head and spoke.
"Everyone is dead. Spongebob, Patrick, Mrs. Puff, Pearl...Everyone. They all made my life terrible, so I decided to fix it by ending their lives. Now you're the only one left. You never deserved your success. Goodbye, Eugene Krabs."
Static then showed for 20 seconds. After that, the screen cut to black. You could hear Mr. Krabs screaming for 2 seconds before Squidward snapped his neck. Then it showed Squidward on a black screen, still with those red eyes and black pupils. Slowed down music started to play (Months later Labls discovered that this was the music playing). White text appeared on the bottom of the screen, changing every 5 seconds.
"they all caused my suffering"
"so wasn't this the right thing to do?"
"they deserved it"
"but do i deserve it too?"
Squidward pulled out a krabby patty.
"desire leads to suffering."
Squidward then ate the patty. He pulled out a patty and ate it at least 20 times as his thighs got bigger and bigger. After the last one, the screen cut to black. An explosion sound played. After 10 seconds, it showed Squidward, but his legs were blown up. There was hyperrealistic blood coming out of them. His eyes were black and they were bleeding. After 15 seconds, the credits theme played, but it was slowed down. The credits played normally. When the song ended, it showed a godawful MS Paint drawing of the Nickelodeon logo, but the orange was now dark red, and the white was now black. The "Nickelodeon" was backwards. It played this strange theme. Then it finally ended.
"What the f### was that??" Nipes said.
A few days later, we all talked about having nightmares about that cursed episode. All of them were set in an MS Paint-like world. Soon, we all decided to quit. We wouldn't take this anymore. The assistant manager also quit.
While we were driving to Nipes' house to calm down, we passed a strange man in a brown shirt attacking someone. He had red eyes and black pupils, and he had no pants. He was screaming "DESIRE LEADS TO SUFFERING!"
None of us watched Spongebob for a month so we could avoid remembering that episode. That awful, terrible episode.
Niagaranobs made the title
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