Subnautica, SUPER DELUXE
Hello, my name is Austin Maurice and two days ago, I had a really spooooky experience like A STUPIDLY HORRIFYING ONE!!!
So anyways, let me tell you (presumably the reader) about it. I was at my local CEX (UK version of GameStop I think) and I saw a Subnautica box for the PS4. I went over and picked it up. The art on the box was different and it was called: "Subnautica Super Deluxe" flipping it over, I saw the protagonist, Riley, with hyper realistic bloody eyes, seemingly staring at me. I jumped back and almost shit myself. "Holy fudge, what a jumpscare!" I exclaimed. "Watch your language, young man!" the very tall and smokin' hot female cashier said to me. "Yes ma'am..." I said. I took the game over to her and wondered if I should go full alpha mode on her, but decided that was for little cringey bitchboys and I'd just pay for the damn game instead. as I slam-dunked it onto the counter, the lady suddenly pulled out a flashlight and shone it under her chin. "Are you sure you want this one?" she said in a very poorly-done spooky tone. "The man who sold this to us was a big demonic-looking fellow with hyper-realistic eyes, presumably because he was real." "What the actual flip are you yapping about?" I said, trying not to blush. "And what's with the torch?" "Oh nevermind." she said, turning it off (and me on). "I'll sell it to you for £2." "Yes queen." I thought as I handed her the tenner in my wallet, letting her keep the change because I am an absolute stud (BUT NOT A SIMP YOU DUMBASSES!!!) On the way home, I stopped at McDonald's for a Big Mac which tasted like absolute swamp-ass.
When I got home I opened the box and a red liquid (presumably cranberry juice but correct me in the comments if I'm wrong) spilled out and almost ruined my £2000 custom Glados X Wheatley fanfic. The disk had a big mouth on it which didn't look like any leviathan I had seen before. I absolutely smashed the disc into my Ps4 and booted it up, telling it to shut up when it told me I'd turned it off improperly again. The menu of the PS4 turned red and black with a big fish swimming around. The big fish kept reciting my IP address so I told it to fudge off and it swam away crying. "I'm telling mummy on you!" it sobbed. This was pretty weird; was this all the disc? When I booted the game up, I suddenly needed a piss which was strange as I'd gone 234 hours without drinking for a dare (but that's another story.) As I violated the toilet bowl with my personal laser, I could hear the strangest sounds coming from my bedroom, which I can only describe as sounding like two badgers mating after eating taco bell. When I finished and went back to my room, the noises had stopped and the title screen had popped up. on the title screen there was a reaper leviathan making out with a sea-treader and a furry on the lower right hand corner of the screen, who quickly disappeared. I was confused by all this and thought I'd bought the sex version of Subnautica by mistake.
Thinking it was just a glitch (like all good Creepypasta protagonists) I hit play game and I saw the different game modes. there was "shitpost mode" which I didn't pick as I did not want an admin to ban my story, "Sea-dragon dating sim" which sounded absolutely cracking; I mean have you even seen that thing? and "regular mode ;)" despite the obvious winky-face in the title, I chose that mode anyway because I'm kinda dumb honestly. Subnautica takes forever to load ordinarily, but this shit dragged on like a math class (amyrite fellow kids?! :D) It went on for so long that I had become an old man with long white hair and false teeth by the time it had finished loading.
I grabbed my mossy controller in my old, gross wrinkly hands and watched the intro cutscene. In it, the big ship was constructed with Temu supplies so it crashed easily into planet 454GB. Everyone died except the protagonist who did an absolutely radical kickflip out of the falling ship on a skateboard. He landed in the shallows and the game began. I noticed that the oxygen on the player ran out quickly, which made me rage with the ultimate old dude energy™. I surfaced and saw a big, fat thing in the distance, which was so large that I started lagging in real life. I swam towards the thing and it was a big fish like leviathan with a bloated belly. Suddenly, it spoke. "I've eaten too much taco bell..." it said weakly. It then let out a massive wet fart which blew up everything and killed everyone. The gas came through my Tv and it smelled like rotten eggs and burnt rubber and sewage and spicy Doritos and skunk spray and garbage and petrol and taco bell toilets and rancid cheese and off milk and nappies and old meat and feet and sleet and moldy vegetables all put in a vat and left to ferment in the Sahara desert for two nonillion years. The TV literally melted from the stench and I dissolved alive. The last thing I heard was the Leviathan saying "Pardon me!" in an embarrassed way. "But wait" I hear you ask. "How the fuck am I writing this when I'm dead?" Well... I'M A GHOST NOW WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH MOTHERFUCKERS!!! I'M IN YOUR WALLS AND I AM COMING FOR YOU!!!!! DGYU\FHDS\UIFSHFILESFISL;FJEOUAS;FJEiolf;jO;P
Ahem, sorry for yelling. The end... or is it...
Written by Brickman0653
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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