Sup bb u want sum gost?
These words were just texted to me from my ex's phone.
He's been dead for the past 27 years.
I live by myself in a three-room apartment now; ever since the car accident halfway through college my life has just never been the same. That accident took his life, it took his entire extended family's life, and it almost took my life. In retrospect maybe with 49 people in the car, we should have been wearing seatbelts.
But we weren't. And they all died. I was the only survivor. I was saved because when the car hit the concrete barrier, both of his grandmas' and three of his aunts' and uncles' artificial hearts collided mid-fleshy-pile-of-disgustingness to form a sort of protective chamber around me, shielding me from what otherwise would have certainly been the fatal impact of his great uncle's hip implant.
I was saved. Someone at the funeral remarked how I was saved by the weakness of his family's hearts, but I prefer to think it was more by the strength of their spirits.
It took me days to get over his death and return to a normal life, and for a long time afterwards it just never felt like anything was worth doing. I lost interest in the things I used to love for a whole week; I missed a new episode of Seinfeld.
Then I thought I was over him and ready to begin life anew. Two weeks later I was ready to start sleeping with Kevin again. But it was never quite the same after that; whenever I saw a heart transplant taking place, or an artificial heart sitting somewhere, I swore I could hear him whispering his name in my ear. But I thought I was hallucinating or having vivid flashbacks, I didn't for the life of me actually believe in ghosts or hauntings.
But now I have this text... He's back. I know he is. Only he ever said those words to me in exactly that combination; only he knows the true way to my heart. But it's different now... He used to lovingly, tenderly ask me if I wanted sum fuk... I don't know what sum gost is. And I'm scared. I want to go on describing him in greater depth, but I can't right now; I have to answer the phone because... Oh God. He's calling. Am I about to hear his voice again for the first time in twenty seven years? I don't know what's going on and I don't understand this... If I don't update this post within an hour, call the police and tell them to come to my house.
Originally uploaded on August 6, 2014
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