Super scary sanic poopsa.: Difference between revisions

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But
But
first, a premise: I’ve never been a fan of a particular video game series and I
first, a premise: I've never been a fan of a particular video game series and I
never cared about any particular franchise, I just used to rent whatever looked
never cared about any particular franchise, I just used to rent whatever looked
a fun game at  a blockbuster near my
a fun game at  a blockbuster near my
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the Sonic franchise as I had never owned a Sega console.
the Sonic franchise as I had never owned a Sega console.


I’m not sure about what its name was but I
I'm not sure about what its name was but I
think it might have been called Sonic Heroes. Also the fact that in the back of
think it might have been called Sonic Heroes. Also the fact that in the back of
the cover there was a white bat with a remarkable cleavage did not influence my
the cover there was a white bat with a remarkable cleavage did not influence my
decision of renting the game because I’m not a furry.
decision of renting the game because I'm not a furry.


Nothing
Nothing
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But
But
now that it’s too late for me I finally understand what that game was: a bait!
now that it's too late for me I finally understand what that game was: a bait!
A way to trick you into entering the horrifying world of Sonic!
A way to trick you into entering the horrifying world of Sonic!


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I
I
don’t remember what I had the intention of buying that day, because as soon as
don't remember what I had the intention of buying that day, because as soon as
I saw the cover of ''that game ''I decided
I saw the cover of ''that game ''I decided
 to buy it. I remembered having fun with
 to buy it. I remembered having fun with
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its games must have been at least good if not exceptional.  Thinking back there must have been something
its games must have been at least good if not exceptional.  Thinking back there must have been something
else that made me desire that game so much, maybe it was a subliminal message
else that made me desire that game so much, maybe it was a subliminal message
designed to enthrall simpler minds. No, that can’t be it! I was and still am a
designed to enthrall simpler minds. No, that can't be it! I was and still am a
smart gamer! A subliminal message couldn’t have affected me! It must have been
smart gamer! A subliminal message couldn't have affected me! It must have been
something more… sinister. Something dark. An evil force that resided within the
something more… sinister. Something dark. An evil force that resided within the
game and is probably still there, Lurking, hiding, waiting for its next
game and is probably still there, Lurking, hiding, waiting for its next
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an interminably long loading screen I was in the game. I was playing as Sonic,
an interminably long loading screen I was in the game. I was playing as Sonic,
and following me was Tails (I know the names because I did a lot of research on
and following me was Tails (I know the names because I did a lot of research on
Deaviantart.com. You wouldn’t believe the stuff I saw Rouge the Bat do; the
Deaviantart.com. You wouldn't believe the stuff I saw Rouge the Bat do; the
sight of  which, by the way left me
sight of  which, by the way left me
completely unaffected). I was in the town I saw in those ten seconds of
completely unaffected). I was in the town I saw in those ten seconds of
cutscene.  I could feel there was something
cutscene.  I could feel there was something
a bit …off but at that time I couldn’t figure out what it was.  I couldn’t freely explore the town because
a bit …off but at that time I couldn't figure out what it was.  I couldn't freely explore the town because
some guys with a ridiculous looking uniform blocked the way.
some guys with a ridiculous looking uniform blocked the way.


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He
He
told me something I didn’t care about enough to remember.
told me something I didn't care about enough to remember.


Another
Another
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I
I
then had to do some sort of mission where I had to run through  rings. The mission would have been relatively
then had to do some sort of mission where I had to run through  rings. The mission would have been relatively
easy if the developers didn’t have the idea of having the camera purposefully
easy if the developers didn't have the idea of having the camera purposefully
rotate 180 degrees at the most inconvenient times. I thought it was an original
rotate 180 degrees at the most inconvenient times. I thought it was an original
idea to add more difficulty to an otherwise easy minigame. And then…
idea to add more difficulty to an otherwise easy minigame. And then…
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I
I
started to wonder about the utility of those loading screens. Surely you didn’t
started to wonder about the utility of those loading screens. Surely you didn't
need to reload the whole city every single time something happened. No sane
need to reload the whole city every single time something happened. No sane
developer would publish a game with these load times I thought. Then why? What
developer would publish a game with these load times I thought. Then why? What
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one, massive, beach.
one, massive, beach.


That's
That’s
when it all started.  It was so sudden,
when it all started.  It was so sudden,
there were glitches everywhere. Sonic would just ignore the laws of
there were glitches everywhere. Sonic would just ignore the laws of
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And
And
the town… oh god the town! The town itself wasn’t the problem. It was the
the town… oh god the town! The town itself wasn't the problem. It was the
people! When they talked they moved the their mouth and gesticulated like a
people! When they talked they moved the their mouth and gesticulated like a
normal person would, they were trying to speak, to scream, to warn you to turn
normal person would, they were trying to speak, to scream, to warn you to turn
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The
The
next level wasn’t any better or any worse than the beach level, except there
next level wasn't any better or any worse than the beach level, except there
was no sea. I will not describe it because I would just repeat myself. I’d
was no sea. I will not describe it because I would just repeat myself. I'd
rather get to what happened after that level.
rather get to what happened after that level.


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avoided them all. I Kept running in circles around- him trying to find an
avoided them all. I Kept running in circles around- him trying to find an
opening, I lunged at him with a homing attack but he blocked it effortlessly.
opening, I lunged at him with a homing attack but he blocked it effortlessly.
Before throwing Sonic’s limp body away with his psychokinetic powers he uttered
Before throwing Sonic's limp body away with his psychokinetic powers he uttered
three words which are still seared in my mind, three words which I keep hearing
three words which are still seared in my mind, three words which I keep hearing
in my nightmares : "IT’S. NO. USE".
in my nightmares : "IT'S. NO. USE".
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck‏‎]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck‏‎]]
[[Category:Sonic‏‎]]
[[Category:Sonic‏‎]]
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