Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii goes On a Computer: Difference between revisions
From Trollpasta Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
Content added Content deleted
m (→top: replaced: <comments /> → {{Comments}}) |
Thermometer (talk | contribs) No edit summary |
||
Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
{{NSFW}} |
|||
At the end of the school's semester, I burnt all my textbooks. I can't read so it was the simplest thing I could do. |
At the end of the school's semester, I burnt all my textbooks. I can't read so it was the simplest thing I could do. |
||
(Note that since I live in my mother's basement I had her write this story). |
(Note that since I live in my mother's basement I had her write this story). |
||
I started off with Science |
I started off with Science{{--}}the study of rainbows and butterflies{{--}}along with Socials, how tequila came to be; English (praised be my mom); and I somehow spared my Math book{{--}}it was 700 much trouble. |
||
I carefully put it in a dusty old drawer in the attic, setting the top on a pillow and then a blanket to keep it warm. One day my dad said 1+1=2, but I took out my textbook to prove him wrong. As I flipped the pages open, I saw my teacher's note on Page 68 reading: "My husband's away for the weekend. Please come |
I carefully put it in a dusty old drawer in the attic, setting the top on a pillow and then a blanket to keep it warm. One day my dad said 1+1=2, but I took out my textbook to prove him wrong. As I flipped the pages open, I saw my teacher's note on Page 68 reading: "My husband's away for the weekend. Please come fuck me." |
||
I said it out loud. |
I said it out loud. |
||
Line 17: | Line 19: | ||
I got into the attic while listening to Daft Punk's ''Get Lucky'' on my iPod; sadly I misheard the background vocals, ''We're up all night to get lucky'' for ''We rob a Mexican monkey''. |
I got into the attic while listening to Daft Punk's ''Get Lucky'' on my iPod; sadly I misheard the background vocals, ''We're up all night to get lucky'' for ''We rob a Mexican monkey''. |
||
When I finally laid my hands on the compact disk, however, I soon noticed that all was written on it read: Chatroom 98 in permanent marking...(again my idiot instincts took over and since "chat" means "cat" in French, I thought it was about the 98th clowder |
When I finally laid my hands on the compact disk, however, I soon noticed that all was written on it read: Chatroom 98 in permanent marking...(again my idiot instincts took over and since "chat" means "cat" in French, I thought it was about the 98th clowder{{--}}long story{{--}}or the clowder had 98 cats. But what I saw was much darker, scarier.) |
||
Once I put the disk in my laptop, a mid-sized white chatroom spawned. It reminded me of MSN Messenger, only the two boxes where you'd normally see your |
Once I put the disk in my laptop, a mid-sized white chatroom spawned. It reminded me of MSN Messenger, only the two boxes where you'd normally see your{{--}}and your friend's pics were non-existant. Anyways, who the Magnum Double Caramel Fudge even uses MSN Messenger anymore? |
||
⚫ | |||
No one typed yet so |
|||
⚫ | |||
To my surprise, Mu'''ñ'''anas #3 started a conversation with me. I suspected it was one of these highly-developed Internet AIs considering how old the CD was. |
To my surprise, Mu'''ñ'''anas #3 started a conversation with me. I suspected it was one of these highly-developed Internet AIs considering how old the CD was. |
||
Line 38: | Line 39: | ||
Mu'''ñ'''anas #3: How old are you? 69, 68, 70 and do you have any family? |
Mu'''ñ'''anas #3: How old are you? 69, 68, 70 and do you have any family? |
||
Me: I was born in 1666, I have three brothers; one is a bitchgoblet, the other is a midget; while the last went |
Me: I was born in 1666, I have three brothers; one is a bitchgoblet, the other is a midget; while the last went apeshit? |
||
Mu'''ñ'''anas #3: Have they ever |
Mu'''ñ'''anas #3: Have they ever fucked anyone? |
||
Me: LOL yep? Richard has HIV, the other two went to Helsinki? |
Me: LOL yep? Richard has HIV, the other two went to Helsinki? |
||
Line 56: | Line 57: | ||
I did as I was told, expecting all but a mere joke, but it wasn't quite the truth. After a full swivel with my chair from my part, I saw something horrific. |
I did as I was told, expecting all but a mere joke, but it wasn't quite the truth. After a full swivel with my chair from my part, I saw something horrific. |
||
Right on my screen was a man's face |
Right on my screen was a man's face{{--}}not just a face{{--}}it was pale and fluffy. Red eyes and a over-hyped smile. |
||
⚫ | |||
IT WAS JOHN |
|||
⚫ | |||
Then, it happened. I heard him saying, "Hey Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii, wanna play NFL 2015?" As a hockey fan I couldn't help it but smash my computer and kill myself. |
Then, it happened. I heard him saying, "Hey Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii, wanna play NFL 2015?" As a hockey fan I couldn't help it but smash my computer and kill myself. |
||
Line 73: | Line 73: | ||
Finally, when my nightmare was over, I woke up to the sound of something roll under my bed. It was the Stanley Cup with a note reading, |
Finally, when my nightmare was over, I woke up to the sound of something roll under my bed. It was the Stanley Cup with a note reading, |
||
<blockquote><i> |
|||
"To: Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii |
"To: Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii<br> |
||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
⚫ | |||
</i></blockquote> |
|||
⚫ | |||
I see something in the window's reflection. |
I see something in the window's reflection. |
||
I don't have time to finish the story as I realize that my mom was a cat all along. |
I don't have time to finish the story as I realize that my mom was a cat all along. |
||
{{by-user|PromoKitty}} |
|||
⚫ | |||
[[Category:Satire]] |
|||
[[Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.]] |
[[Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.]] |
||
[[Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT]] |
[[Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT]] |
||
[[Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ]] |
[[Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ]] |
||
⚫ | |||
{{Comments}} |
{{Comments}} |