Tetris.EXE II: Morte di un Imperatore: Difference between revisions

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The
The
message read; Bitch, it’s time for my revengence. Get in the goddamn computer
message read; Bitch, it's time for my revengence. Get in the goddamn computer
scrub.
scrub.


What
What
a horrible thing to say, I thought. How can someone be so inconsiderate of
a horrible thing to say, I thought. How can someone be so inconsiderate of
others? I mean, it’s not like I ever did anything like that, right.
others? I mean, it's not like I ever did anything like that, right.


I wrote a horrible reply full of swear words up the wazoo.
I wrote a horrible reply full of swear words up the wazoo.
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everyone in the world.
everyone in the world.


"That’s why you don’t play with Ouija boards" said the fat
"That's why you don't play with Ouija boards" said the fat
man as he drank a beer.
man as he drank a beer.


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"Well
"Well
ma boy. You are lucky that good old Lucifer came to save your sorry ass from
ma boy. You are lucky that good old Lucifer came to save your sorry ass from
death. Or so it seems. You were dragged here by TDD. So you can’t just waltz on
death. Or so it seems. You were dragged here by TDD. So you can't just waltz on
out anymore.  If you were invited here,
out anymore.  If you were invited here,
it would be a different story. But you weren’t" said Satan.
it would be a different story. But you weren't" said Satan.


I
I
asked him how I get out then.
asked him how I get out then.


"I'm
"I’m
glad you asked, for to escape, you must survive a three floor Trouble Dungeon
glad you asked, for to escape, you must survive a three floor Trouble Dungeon
set up by the one who summoned you. I.E the TDD.  Don’t worry, I’ll make sure it’s somewhat
set up by the one who summoned you. I.E the TDD.  Don't worry, I'll make sure it's somewhat
possible to complete by a mortal. I always do. Good luck scrub" said Satan as
possible to complete by a mortal. I always do. Good luck scrub" said Satan as
he teleported all of us out of the room.
he teleported all of us out of the room.
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there for what seemed like a week. I played hell themed versions of vidya games
there for what seemed like a week. I played hell themed versions of vidya games
like, Call of Damned; Hell ops,  Super
like, Call of Damned; Hell ops,  Super
Demon Galaxy, Demon’s Souls,  and Beelzebub
Demon Galaxy, Demon's Souls,  and Beelzebub
the Hedgehog. Then I got a letter telling me the Trouble Dungeon was
the Hedgehog. Then I got a letter telling me the Trouble Dungeon was
"Kompleatedid" Well, time to go die I thought as I left the room.
"Kompleatedid" Well, time to go die I thought as I left the room.


I stepped out of the room into a giant ass field of grass
I stepped out of the room into a giant ass field of grass
and hills. The sky was a clear blue, and the sun was shining. This doesn’t seem
and hills. The sky was a clear blue, and the sun was shining. This doesn't seem
like much of a Trouble Dungeon to me. Then I fell into a pitfall trap.
like much of a Trouble Dungeon to me. Then I fell into a pitfall trap.


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"You
"You
didn’t think I would let a floor end without an epic boss fight at the end, did
didn't think I would let a floor end without an epic boss fight at the end, did
you. Kill him, and you move on".
you. Kill him, and you move on".


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still alive. So I ran to the other side of the bridge to hopefully escape the
still alive. So I ran to the other side of the bridge to hopefully escape the
Dullahan .  Long story short, I hit an
Dullahan .  Long story short, I hit an
invisible wall, and Dullahans don’t give up that easily.
invisible wall, and Dullahans don't give up that easily.


Then I saw a shiny thing in the wall, forgetting about the
Then I saw a shiny thing in the wall, forgetting about the
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human torso fused to the ground. But it was made of chop meat and had six arms.
human torso fused to the ground. But it was made of chop meat and had six arms.
It also had a head made of sushi. He could shoot caviar out of his eyes and
It also had a head made of sushi. He could shoot caviar out of his eyes and
lasers out of his hands. I was eventually able to slice off one arm. But I can’t
lasers out of his hands. I was eventually able to slice off one arm. But I can't
eat raw meat. I continued to slice off arms, until it was only a torso and
eat raw meat. I continued to slice off arms, until it was only a torso and
head.
head.
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and eat my requirement.  
and eat my requirement.  


Now it’s time for dairy. I landed in an ocean of milk. And
Now it's time for dairy. I landed in an ocean of milk. And
a kraken made of cheese erupted from the depths of the sea. He shot yogurt at
a kraken made of cheese erupted from the depths of the sea. He shot yogurt at
me from his beak, then slapped me several times with his arms. He also shot
me from his beak, then slapped me several times with his arms. He also shot
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crying olive oil. Then he started to sing.
crying olive oil. Then he started to sing.


"Somebody once told me that, I was gunna kill you, I’ll use
"Somebody once told me that, I was gunna kill you, I'll use
the sharpest tool in the shed" he sang. He then began to dual wield a
the sharpest tool in the shed" he sang. He then began to dual wield a
rototiller and a lawn mower.
rototiller and a lawn mower.
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The true final battle commenced, The two parried, blocked,
The true final battle commenced, The two parried, blocked,
and sliced at each other in a true battle of chivalry. It went on for 200 days,
and sliced at each other in a true battle of chivalry. It went on for 200 days,
and 100 nights. But eventually, Obama sliced off one of the TDD’s arms, right
and 100 nights. But eventually, Obama sliced off one of the TDD's arms, right
as he sliced off one of Obama’s legs. As one last desperation attack, both
as he sliced off one of Obama's legs. As one last desperation attack, both
swung with all their might. Obama cut the TDD in half diagonally across his
swung with all their might. Obama cut the TDD in half diagonally across his
shoulder, and the TDD decapitated Obama. 
shoulder, and the TDD decapitated Obama. 
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me. I had bested hell, and was free. I stood up and walked down the street. The
me. I had bested hell, and was free. I stood up and walked down the street. The
sun was out, and there was a light breeze. I had learned a very valuable lesion
sun was out, and there was a light breeze. I had learned a very valuable lesion
in hell, what it is I have no idea, but I’m pretty sure I learned something.
in hell, what it is I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure I learned something.


'''''End '''''
'''''End '''''
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