That Man
Hi, I'm Barbara. I'm a woman and I've just moved into a new house in a new town. I've done it alone, which is to say, I'm not married. I have no man in my life, much to my mother's and the whole of society's annoyance.
One day I was doing the washing up and as I looked out the kitchen window I saw my neighbor and my neighbor saw me. We both smiled and waved. I thought no more of it.
The next day I bumped into my neighbor who had waved at me whilst I did the washing up. I was taking the bins out despite it being a boy's job, I don't care about those kinds of things.
"Who was that handsome man standing behind you as you did the washing up the other day?" Asked my neighbor.
"Whoever do you mean?" I said. "There was no man standing behind me as I did the washing up. I live alone. I have no man in my life."
My neighbor looked at me with confusion and disgust. She looked at me just like my mother does.
Later that evening I was doing the washing up again and I thought about what my neighbor had said. As I did so I got the queerest sense that there was someone standing behind me and watching me. So I turned around and indeed saw a man actually standing there and watching me do the washing up.
"Who are you?" I asked. "What are you doing in my house?"
"I'm watching you do the washing up." He said, in a creepy way. "And it's not your house. It's my house. You didn't think you could buy a house like this all by yourself? A woman? Aha ha ha ha."
He laughed just as my mother laughs when I tell her I do DIY. Something snapped inside me. I'd had enough of this man and society and my mother telling me what to do. I took the soapy sponge I had in my hand and I stuffed it in the strange man's mouth. I kept pushing it further and further in to the places he used to breathe until he couldn't breathe anymore and he died. It felt good. I felt liberated, although I had to crack open a new bag of sponges.
Later that evening, once I had done the washing up and hidden the body, there was a knock at the door. I opened the door, it was my neighbor again. She said to me;
"Hello Janey, I'm just wondering if you've seen my husband David? He sleep walks terribly and enters other people's homes claiming they are his and he likes to watch people in the houses do the washing up all while he's asleep. You probably didn't know since you've only just moved in. I forgot to mention it before. Have you seen him at all?"
"No. I haven't seen him." I lied. "But hang on. You just called me Janey, when I'm actually Barbara."
"No, I'm Barbara." Said my neighbor. "I'm Barbara, and my husband is David. You're Janey and you just moved here from another town and you're weird and nobody knows anything about you apart from that you have no man in your life."
Was it true that I had no idea who I was? I looked down at the soapy sponge in my hand. I looked back up to my neighbor's mouth and throat.
"Why don't you come in Barbara. We have some washing up to do." But what I actually meant was I was going to kill her.
Credited to koalazeus
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