The Cursed Omelet-Amulet
You've heard of cursed amulets, now get ready for cursed omelets. That are actually amulets as well. Or is omelet spelled omelette? Whatever tickles your boat.
Anyway, it all started when my girlfriend and I had a brunch date at a restaurant owned by some half man half lion thing. And no, he wasn't a furry. I don't think. He just sometimes transformed into a monstrous lion. But the food was good, and that's what made us keep going back.
"Beware," the lion-man said. "If you eat this omelet, you will be cursed forever. It was once an ancient cursed amulet found in the darkest corners of the Abyss of Evil."
"Then why did you give it to her?" CJ asked.
"Because she wanted the corned beef hash omelet. Duh."
I shrugged. "Cursed or not, you know I'm a slut for corned beef."
"Your loss," she replied. How cursed could an omelet actually be? Especially one that delicious? Trust me, if your ever in the area and see some weird pagoda looking restaurant on top of a dark mountain, they have the BEST breakfast foods.
CJ's meal was just a regular uncursed waffle. Some people just luck out sometimes, I guess. When we finished, we paid and made the trek back home.
I didn't feel cursed at all. I felt full and happy and in need of another coffee.
But then it all changed. I was finishing up watching Goosebumps like the grown adult I am, while CJ was in our room working on her book. It was midnight by the time I finished bingeing. Binging? Watching a lot of episodes at a time.
You know how when you turn off the lights, you run upstairs super fast as though some deep-rooted instinct tells you there's a monster or a ghost or a demon after you? Yeah. So I ran up the stairs full speed, and something slapped. My. Ass.
Can you believe that? Something just up and slapped my ass without warning! I turned around and there was some ancient egg deity who said "LOL BLAZE IT" and hovered ominously at me :(
So yeah I'm cursed but dammit if I don't want another of those omelets. I'm telling you they're amazing
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Credited to mysticaltater
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