The Devil and I Had a Jerkoff-athon

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  NSFW WARNING

This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations.
...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

Well, me, by gum, I'm just a ye olde country boy. Nothing but butterbiscuits and ham pudding at my table, shuck'emup.

So's I'm out a-fishin one entire summer, when if you'd be a pickle in a sassafras patch I ran right into Satan incarnate. The Unholy Rolley. Luciferrigno hisself.

And if I hadn't shat my britches, I'd a-died in thatthere patch of wild wilderness patch!

The devil comes up and gives a say: "Thou aren't the country boy Eldritch, ares't thine?"

My pink butt ears perked right up like a sunflower in a cauliflower salad. "Well by gum I shoooooore is! And who might you beist, red horned foe?"

"Well I'm the Fallen Los Angel, the devil." When he said that last participle, fire the yellow of a cow's pus pocket shot right outta his ocular holes.

My shit-covered panties were scrunching up into my ass cracks, so I bowed mysteriously and sat in silence.

"Ok, then," the Deviled Eggs said. "Now!" And with that, he released his ungodly sized man peen. It was bright red like a Jolly Ranch and veined like a oxroast pie. I looked at in a sordid mix of terrifiedness and eroticismic awe.

He started givin' his rocket pop and hyperquick yank. Like some jet airplane it was a-fast.

Suddenly, he go "Blooooooooooorrrrrrrggggg!" all loud and blasphemically, and shoots gallons of sticky, black demon jizz all over me and the surrounding treelines. 'Twas like an opaque Vaseline hose just unloaded a truck's worth of petrified wood.

I yucked aloud and spat out the foul smelling ball cache. "Garooooooooooossssssss! If'n you ain't the trickiest lil anti-Jooses out there!" I said, full-on disgusted with life as I then knew it.

The Devil just did a big laugh and transmogrified into some sorta Beatle. I think it was Ringo, but I'm more of a Mamas and Papas fan. To add insult to injury, the moptopped Mod Brit sang:

All the poop is broooooooooooown

And my cum is greeeeeeeeeeeeey

Then he disappeared back to Hell, leaving me a sticky, Devil-cummed mess.

"Aw butternuts!" I yelled at my penis.

Original author unknown

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