The Mouldy Crustacean: Difference between revisions
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It was just after Spongebob had entered its dark period. And I saw an episode that never saw the light of day.
Now you may be thinking,
The answer…. A lot.
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One with actual evidence of crime that for some reason we disregarded. One that was actually a simpsons episode. One that infringed on several copyright laws. One with... swearing…
But this one… This one was the one that stuck with me. It was simply known as
It was set in some kind of alternate universe. The same characters, the same settings, but all with different names.
The episode began as normal, the title card
It opened up in an all too familiar building. The Chum Bucket. But it was dingier, more run down. And it
Now the first thing I noticed was that as opposed to the typical digital 2D animation style the series was known for, this episode was made using a strange 3D animation software that I
Plankton was played by a young boy who
The plot of the episode was simple. Plankton was hiring Larry the Lobster to steal the formula, promising him some sort of indistinct reward in return. I
The next thing I knew, the familiar bubble transition appeared, and we see what appears to be a poorly constructed version of the Krust E Kreeze made of various wooden bits. As opposed to that familiar old crab trap we all know and love.
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We then cut out of nowhere to what appeared to be a first person view of Mr Krabs, but he is voiced by a depressed sounding young man, as opposed to a bumbling blob of a boomer.
He then calls on a spiky pink monster that I could only assume was this strange alternate
It has no limbs or face. Just pink. It seems to float along, waving its stump limbs to move, and punches the crooked crustacean right in his jaw. All the while, Mr Krabs shoots the invincible lobster with an inexplicably large shotgun that was pulled seemingly out of nowhere.
Amongst the overlapping voices and poor mic quality, you can hear Krabs yell
Finally conceding, Krabs admits there is no formula. He simply leaves the patties out to grow mold overnight.
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This makes me gag, I have to struggle not to vomit at the very thought. Why would he poison his customers in such a disgusting manner? And why do they keep COMING BACK?!?!
We transition again, as we see the deformed Larry return to the Chum Bucket. Or… The Seaman Receptacle as
But from behind, Krabs strikes again with his weird ass shotgun! The singular clear word in the scene is
But Larry simply shrugs it off, and goes on the counterattack. He beats the old krab with his bare claws. The krab firing shots all the while… until he runs out of ammo.
In that instant, Larry pulls out a shotgun not unlike the one held by Krabs himself. Weakened, even
Plankton mourns his wife, caught in the crossfire.
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One final transition.
Larry seeks an inexplicable revenge on this
But suddenly, an equally large Patrick demon climbs out of the ocean and takes the distracted lobster down.
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The song Blister in the Sun, by the Violent Femmes, plays to close out the episode. And we definitely did not have the rights to that.
I knew this episode
And clearly some weird fan-made project.
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I burned the tape. Got rid of every last trace of it. Or so I thought…
I hear stories of it occasionally. I know
If you find it… never watch The Mouldy Crustacean.
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