The Return of Shia Labeouf (the sequel to Actual Cannibal, Shia LaBeouf): Difference between revisions

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<poem>
You're driving down a road.
You're driving down a road.

It's empty and dark, 
It's empty and dark, 

But your phone is charged. 
But your phone is charged. 

It's been about a year since you first fought him, 
It's been about a year since you first fought him, 

Shia LaBeouf. 
Shia LaBeouf. 




Your phone starts to ring 
Your phone starts to ring 

You answer it, shaking. 
You answer it, shaking. 

"Hello?" you say, but there's no answer, just breath. 
"Hello?" you say, but there's no answer, just breath. 

"I'm decapitated."
"I'm decapitated."

Shia LaBeouf. 
Shia LaBeouf. 




You get out of your car, 
You get out of your car, 

A headless man appears. 
A headless man appears. 

He's almost upon you now 
He's almost upon you now 

And you can see he's holding his head! 
And you can see he's holding his head! 

My god, it's Shia LaBeouf! 
My god, it's Shia LaBeouf! 




Running for your life 
Running for your life 
(From Shia LaBeouf) 

(From Shia LaBeouf.) 

He's putting on his head. 
He's putting on his head. 
(It's Shia LaBeouf)

(It's Shia LaBeouf.)

Starting to give chase now
Starting to give chase now

Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf. 
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf. 

Living in the woods, 
Living in the woods, 
(Shia LaBeouf) 

(Shia LaBeouf.) 

Avenging his death, 
Avenging his death, 

(Shia LaBeouf.) 
(Shia LaBeouf.) 

Trying to eat your body 
Trying to eat your body 

Actual cannibal, Shia LaBeouf. 
Actual cannibal, Shia LaBeouf. 




It's morning, and you seem to have lot him, 
It's morning, and you seem to have lot him, 

You go back into your car. 
You go back into your car. 

You thought you killed that murderer, 
You thought you killed that murderer, 

You drive silently through the countryside. 
You drive silently through the countryside. 

A-ha! In the distance, 
A-ha! In the distance, 

A small police station with a car in front. 
A small police station with a car in front. 

Hope! 
Hope! 

You drive stealthily toward it, 
You drive stealthily toward it, 

But you see inside! It's Shia LaBeouf! 
But you see inside! It's Shia LaBeouf! 




Exiting your car, 
Exiting your car, 
(Quiet, quiet) 

(Quiet, quiet.) 

Creeping toward the station, 
Creeping toward the station, 
(Quiet, quiet) 

(Quiet, quiet.) 

Now you're on the doorstep, 
Now you're on the doorstep, 

He sees you outside, Shia LaBeouf. 
He sees you outside, Shia LaBeouf. 
Brandishing an axe, 

(Shia LaBeouf) 
Brandishing an ax, 

(Shia LaBeouf.) 

But you quickly dodge as he exits, 
But you quickly dodge as he exits, 
(Shia LaBeouf) 

(Shia LaBeouf.) 

He's coming up behind you. 
He's coming up behind you. 

Strangled by superstar Shia LaBeouf. 
Strangled by superstar Shia LaBeouf. 

Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf, 
Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf, 

Pulling a knife on Shia LaBeouf, 
Pulling a knife on Shia LaBeouf, 

Stab it in his stomach. 
Stab it in his stomach. 

Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf. 
Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf. 




You limp back to your white car, 
You limp back to your white car, 

Air flowing into your lungs. 
Air flowing into your lungs. 
You have just won. 

 you have just won. 

You have murdered Shia LaBeouf 
You have murdered Shia LaBeouf 




Wait! He isn't dead! Again, a Surprise! 
Wait! He isn't dead! Again, a Surprise! 
There's an axe in his hands, and death in his eyes. 

There's an ax in his hands, and death in his eyes. 

But you still have your knife, now 
But you still have your knife, now 

Stabbing at superstar Shia LaBeouf 
Stabbing at superstar Shia LaBeouf 

Yet another fight with Shia LaBeouf 
Yet another fight with Shia LaBeouf 

Normal Monday morn' for Shia LaBeouf 
Normal Monday morn' for Shia LaBeouf 

You try to cut the throat of Shia LaBeouf 
You try to cut the throat of Shia LaBeouf 
But the axe is coming fast at your tired head

But the ax is coming fast at your tired head




You dodge his every swipe, you parry to the left
You dodge his every swipe, you parry to the left

He counters to the right, you catch him in the chest
He counters to the right, you catch him in the chest

You're cutting out his heart now 
You're cutting out his heart now 

You have finally ended the life of Shia LaBeouf 
You have finally ended the life of Shia LaBeouf 




His heart beats weakly in you hand, just lifeless
His heart beats weakly in you hand, just lifeless

You fall to your knees and catch your breath 
You fall to your knees and catch your breath 

You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf
You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf
</poem>
[[Category:Retards Attempting Poetry]]
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Morons Attempting Poetry]]
[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:BATTELS]]
[[Category:BATTELS]]
[[Category:Unnecessary Sequels]]
{{Comments}}

Latest revision as of 13:42, 3 July 2023

You're driving down a road.
It's empty and dark, 
But your phone is charged. 
It's been about a year since you first fought him, 
Shia LaBeouf. 

Your phone starts to ring 
You answer it, shaking. 
"Hello?" you say, but there's no answer, just breath. 
"I'm decapitated."
Shia LaBeouf. 

You get out of your car, 
A headless man appears. 
He's almost upon you now 
And you can see he's holding his head! 
My god, it's Shia LaBeouf! 

Running for your life 
(From Shia LaBeouf) 
He's putting on his head. 
(It's Shia LaBeouf)
Starting to give chase now
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf. 
Living in the woods, 
(Shia LaBeouf) 
Avenging his death, 
(Shia LaBeouf.) 
Trying to eat your body 
Actual cannibal, Shia LaBeouf. 

It's morning, and you seem to have lot him, 
You go back into your car. 
You thought you killed that murderer, 
You drive silently through the countryside. 
A-ha! In the distance, 
A small police station with a car in front. 
Hope! 
You drive stealthily toward it, 
But you see inside! It's Shia LaBeouf! 

Exiting your car, 
(Quiet, quiet) 
Creeping toward the station, 
(Quiet, quiet) 
Now you're on the doorstep, 
He sees you outside, Shia LaBeouf. 
Brandishing an axe, 
(Shia LaBeouf) 
But you quickly dodge as he exits, 
(Shia LaBeouf) 
He's coming up behind you. 
Strangled by superstar Shia LaBeouf. 
Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf, 
Pulling a knife on Shia LaBeouf, 
Stab it in his stomach. 
Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf. 

You limp back to your white car, 
Air flowing into your lungs. 
You have just won. 
You have murdered Shia LaBeouf 

Wait! He isn't dead! Again, a Surprise! 
There's an axe in his hands, and death in his eyes. 
But you still have your knife, now 
Stabbing at superstar Shia LaBeouf 
Yet another fight with Shia LaBeouf 
Normal Monday morn' for Shia LaBeouf 
You try to cut the throat of Shia LaBeouf 
But the axe is coming fast at your tired head

You dodge his every swipe, you parry to the left
He counters to the right, you catch him in the chest
You're cutting out his heart now 
You have finally ended the life of Shia LaBeouf 

His heart beats weakly in you hand, just lifeless
You fall to your knees and catch your breath 
You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf

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