The Return of Shia Labeouf (the sequel to Actual Cannibal, Shia LaBeouf): Difference between revisions
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<poem> |
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You're driving down a road. |
You're driving down a road. |
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It's empty and dark, |
It's empty and dark, |
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But your phone is charged. |
But your phone is charged. |
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It's been about a year since you first fought him, |
It's been about a year since you first fought him, |
||
Shia LaBeouf. |
Shia LaBeouf. |
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Your phone starts to ring |
Your phone starts to ring |
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You answer it, shaking. |
You answer it, shaking. |
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"Hello?" you say, but there's no answer, just breath. |
"Hello?" you say, but there's no answer, just breath. |
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"I'm decapitated." |
"I'm decapitated." |
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Shia LaBeouf. |
Shia LaBeouf. |
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You get out of your car, |
You get out of your car, |
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A headless man appears. |
A headless man appears. |
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He's almost upon you now |
He's almost upon you now |
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And you can see he's holding his head! |
And you can see he's holding his head! |
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My god, it's Shia LaBeouf! |
My god, it's Shia LaBeouf! |
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Running for your life |
Running for your life |
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(From Shia LaBeouf) |
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(From Shia LaBeouf.) |
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He's putting on his head. |
He's putting on his head. |
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(It's Shia LaBeouf) |
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(It's Shia LaBeouf.) |
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Starting to give chase now |
Starting to give chase now |
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Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf. |
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf. |
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Living in the woods, |
Living in the woods, |
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(Shia LaBeouf) |
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(Shia LaBeouf.) |
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Avenging his death, |
Avenging his death, |
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(Shia LaBeouf.) |
(Shia LaBeouf.) |
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Trying to eat your body |
Trying to eat your body |
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Actual cannibal, Shia LaBeouf. |
Actual cannibal, Shia LaBeouf. |
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It's morning, and you seem to have lot him, |
It's morning, and you seem to have lot him, |
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You go back into your car. |
You go back into your car. |
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You thought you killed that murderer, |
You thought you killed that murderer, |
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You drive silently through the countryside. |
You drive silently through the countryside. |
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A-ha! In the distance, |
A-ha! In the distance, |
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A small police station with a car in front. |
A small police station with a car in front. |
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Hope! |
Hope! |
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You drive stealthily toward it, |
You drive stealthily toward it, |
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But you see inside! It's Shia LaBeouf! |
But you see inside! It's Shia LaBeouf! |
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Exiting your car, |
Exiting your car, |
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(Quiet, quiet) |
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(Quiet, quiet.) |
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Creeping toward the station, |
Creeping toward the station, |
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(Quiet, quiet) |
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(Quiet, quiet.) |
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Now you're on the doorstep, |
Now you're on the doorstep, |
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He sees you outside, Shia LaBeouf. |
He sees you outside, Shia LaBeouf. |
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Brandishing an axe, |
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(Shia LaBeouf) |
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Brandishing an ax, |
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(Shia LaBeouf.) |
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But you quickly dodge as he exits, |
But you quickly dodge as he exits, |
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(Shia LaBeouf) |
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(Shia LaBeouf.) |
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He's coming up behind you. |
He's coming up behind you. |
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Strangled by superstar Shia LaBeouf. |
Strangled by superstar Shia LaBeouf. |
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Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf, |
Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf, |
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Pulling a knife on Shia LaBeouf, |
Pulling a knife on Shia LaBeouf, |
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Stab it in his stomach. |
Stab it in his stomach. |
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Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf. |
Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf. |
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You limp back to your white car, |
You limp back to your white car, |
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Air flowing into your lungs. |
Air flowing into your lungs. |
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You have just won. |
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you have just won. |
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You have murdered Shia LaBeouf |
You have murdered Shia LaBeouf |
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Wait! He isn't dead! Again, a Surprise! |
Wait! He isn't dead! Again, a Surprise! |
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There's an axe in his hands, and death in his eyes. |
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There's an ax in his hands, and death in his eyes. |
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But you still have your knife, now |
But you still have your knife, now |
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Stabbing at superstar Shia LaBeouf |
Stabbing at superstar Shia LaBeouf |
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Yet another fight with Shia LaBeouf |
Yet another fight with Shia LaBeouf |
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Normal Monday morn' for Shia LaBeouf |
Normal Monday morn' for Shia LaBeouf |
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You try to cut the throat of Shia LaBeouf |
You try to cut the throat of Shia LaBeouf |
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But the axe is coming fast at your tired head |
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But the ax is coming fast at your tired head |
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You dodge his every swipe, you parry to the left |
You dodge his every swipe, you parry to the left |
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He counters to the right, you catch him in the chest |
He counters to the right, you catch him in the chest |
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You're cutting out his heart now |
You're cutting out his heart now |
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You have finally ended the life of Shia LaBeouf |
You have finally ended the life of Shia LaBeouf |
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His heart beats weakly in you hand, just lifeless |
His heart beats weakly in you hand, just lifeless |
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You fall to your knees and catch your breath |
You fall to your knees and catch your breath |
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You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf |
You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf |
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</poem> |
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[[Category:Retards Attempting Poetry]] |
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[[Category:Trollpasta]] |
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[[Category:Morons Attempting Poetry]] |
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[[Category:Memes]] |
[[Category:Memes]] |
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[[Category:BATTELS]] |
[[Category:BATTELS]] |
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[[Category:Unnecessary Sequels]] |
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{{Comments}} |
Latest revision as of 13:42, 3 July 2023
You're driving down a road.
It's empty and dark,
But your phone is charged.
It's been about a year since you first fought him,
Shia LaBeouf.
Your phone starts to ring
You answer it, shaking.
"Hello?" you say, but there's no answer, just breath.
"I'm decapitated."
Shia LaBeouf.
You get out of your car,
A headless man appears.
He's almost upon you now
And you can see he's holding his head!
My god, it's Shia LaBeouf!
Running for your life
(From Shia LaBeouf)
He's putting on his head.
(It's Shia LaBeouf)
Starting to give chase now
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf.
Living in the woods,
(Shia LaBeouf)
Avenging his death,
(Shia LaBeouf.)
Trying to eat your body
Actual cannibal, Shia LaBeouf.
It's morning, and you seem to have lot him,
You go back into your car.
You thought you killed that murderer,
You drive silently through the countryside.
A-ha! In the distance,
A small police station with a car in front.
Hope!
You drive stealthily toward it,
But you see inside! It's Shia LaBeouf!
Exiting your car,
(Quiet, quiet)
Creeping toward the station,
(Quiet, quiet)
Now you're on the doorstep,
He sees you outside, Shia LaBeouf.
Brandishing an axe,
(Shia LaBeouf)
But you quickly dodge as he exits,
(Shia LaBeouf)
He's coming up behind you.
Strangled by superstar Shia LaBeouf.
Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf,
Pulling a knife on Shia LaBeouf,
Stab it in his stomach.
Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf.
You limp back to your white car,
Air flowing into your lungs.
You have just won.
You have murdered Shia LaBeouf
Wait! He isn't dead! Again, a Surprise!
There's an axe in his hands, and death in his eyes.
But you still have your knife, now
Stabbing at superstar Shia LaBeouf
Yet another fight with Shia LaBeouf
Normal Monday morn' for Shia LaBeouf
You try to cut the throat of Shia LaBeouf
But the axe is coming fast at your tired head
You dodge his every swipe, you parry to the left
He counters to the right, you catch him in the chest
You're cutting out his heart now
You have finally ended the life of Shia LaBeouf
His heart beats weakly in you hand, just lifeless
You fall to your knees and catch your breath
You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf
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