The Teletubby Massacre

DOWN IN THE NETHERLANDS, EVERYTHING WAS PEACEFUL UNTIL SOME RANDOM DUDE WAS ASSASSINATED, AND THEN THE APOCALYPSE BEGAN. IT WAS PRETTY BAD BUT GOT MUCH WORSE WHEN THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ARRIVED!!1!

THE HORSEMEN WERE ODD-LOOKING, COLORED CREATURES WITH ANTENNAE AND TELEVISIONS ON THEIR STOMACHS. THEY WERE QUITE SPOOKY.

THEIR NAMES WERE TINKY WINKY (PURPLE), DIPSY (GREEN), LALA (YELLOW), AND PO (RED). EACH ONE RODE A MIGHTY STEED COVERED IN FLAMES.

THE FIGHT BEGAN WHEN PO BLEW UP A NEIGHBORHOOD WITH A ROCKET LAUNCHER. DIPSY THEN TOOK OUT HIS LONG WOODEN SPEAR AND STARTED MERCILESSLY IMPALING EVERYONE HE SAW. TINKY WINKY HAD TWO THOMPSON SUBMACHINE GUNS, ONE IN EACH HAND, AND A PISTOL ON HIS ANTENNA. FINALLY, LALA WAS ARMED WITH AN AUTHENTIC PERSIAN SCIMITAR AND AN AUTHENTIC CRUSADES SHIELD.

AFTER 69 DAYS OF DARKNESS AND MURDER IN WHICH THE HORSEMEN, WHO THE NATIVES HAD CALLED "CROTNUYAËYUĮPÓĽAĽAȚINKAGHI-HYIKYHUTHULUTHŰĆ (WHICH TRANSLATES TO TELETUBBIES), MURDERED EVERYONE THEY SAW, THE DARKNESS ENDED.

THE HORSEMEN ENDED THEIR MASSACRE AND RETURNED TO THE HEAVENS ABOVE.

MEANWHILE, WITH THE APOCALYPSE IN THE NETHERLANDS OVER, IT WAS TIME FOR CIVILIZATION TO BE REBUILT.

THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS THAT EVERY HUMAN IN THE NETHERLANDS WAS DEAD SO THE NETHERLANDS ARE NOW A BARREN WASTELAND.

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