The Very Scary Basement of Scary Things That Are Pretty Scary
The moon howled while the wolves shone brightly upon the dim neighborhood. I shuddered in my bed, listening in on the pumpkins resting outside. It was halloween, and I had consumed a lot of candy.
No, wait.
It was Christmas, the day after Christmas, yeah, but it was just as spooky as Halloween. And I went downstairs because...
No, no, hold on.
It was Halloween. Or, like, a week before Halloween? It can't be scary after because everyone has their mind on turkeys and pilgrims or some shit.
Okay, so it was October 21st, and not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Except me. I was stirring. My soup. It was cold and I wanted soup, and I felt like I might get spooked so I made myself soup because you can't get spooked if you drink a lot of soup, that's just the rules, that's how it works.
But then I heard a rattling noise, like someone jangling car keys or massaging a robot. I downed the soup and launched myself out a window, hurdling unto the grass like a true Olympian that I wasn't. I peered towards the basement entrance, which was actually inside the house, and I really had no reason to leap out the window.
After crawling carefully through the shards of broken glass and wireframe, I managed myself into the basement. It was cold, dark, and basement. The stairs made squeaks. It was only upon closer inspection that it turned out that the stairs were made of mice. Thousands of... Mouses. Mice. Just. A lot of mouse. So much.
But I descded. Sorry. Desceded. No. Descented.
Fuck.
Descended
When I hit the bottom, I turned on the light, and the Grim Reaper walked out from the shadows. He looked at me and his face contorted into a lovecraftian visage and he let loose an ear piercing shriek. I was not scared. He asked why. I told him I had soup and he got upset because he did not know I drank soup.
Then I pushed him unto the basement bed (we keep a bed in the basement for the mice) and I banged him all night long.
The end.
Originally uploaded on August 16, 2015
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