The Virus Took Everything From Me: Difference between revisions
From Trollpasta Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
Content added Content deleted
Thermometer (talk | contribs) (Created page with "In this life there are always one or two moments of absolutes. Absolute joy, happiness... absolute sorrow. And absolute dread. These moments are always proceeding ones of unce...") |
m (Text replacement - "“" to """) |
||
| Line 9: | Line 9: | ||
I arrived home, unloaded my groceries and plopped down in front of my tv to watch the movie marathon I had just purchased and enjoyed some snacks. After two hours of watching Romero’s fine films I was struck with a dreadful thought... do zombies poop? They eat all the time and yeah they aren’t alive but thinking about it they have to do something with their man meals after it’s all said and done right? I then concluded that I should wear my brown pants should I ever become one of them. |
I arrived home, unloaded my groceries and plopped down in front of my tv to watch the movie marathon I had just purchased and enjoyed some snacks. After two hours of watching Romero’s fine films I was struck with a dreadful thought... do zombies poop? They eat all the time and yeah they aren’t alive but thinking about it they have to do something with their man meals after it’s all said and done right? I then concluded that I should wear my brown pants should I ever become one of them. |
||
The next day came and after spending it in front of the computer I felt the squirming of my guts. The bubbling of last night's Nachos Supreme with extra peppers. It’s eight hours of solitary was up and demanded to be let out and fast! So as I waddled my clenched ass to the bathroom I let out the only appropriate thing one can when you feel yourself getting caught in a mudslide. |
The next day came and after spending it in front of the computer I felt the squirming of my guts. The bubbling of last night's Nachos Supreme with extra peppers. It’s eight hours of solitary was up and demanded to be let out and fast! So as I waddled my clenched ass to the bathroom I let out the only appropriate thing one can when you feel yourself getting caught in a mudslide. "Dear God forgive me for the sin I am about to unleash!” |
||
And unleash it I did. A fiery butt-demon escaped into the waters below as I played a game with anime girls on my phone. I made sure the microwaved meal monster I had just birthed was completely out of my system and finished my level when I reached my hand to the wall and was overcome with that feeling. The realization of my blunder making that one moment of absoluteness in my life. Absolute panic. My hand met with the cardboard cylinder of an empty toilet paper roll. I am lazy and forget to change them so I looked by the waste bin where I keep my reloads but I was out. In my race to get gold fish crackers, hot pockets, and soda I had forgotten to get a new pack of toilet paper. I was trapped on my toilet, the seat now had grown warm beneath me as I hid away my stinky curse on this world. |
And unleash it I did. A fiery butt-demon escaped into the waters below as I played a game with anime girls on my phone. I made sure the microwaved meal monster I had just birthed was completely out of my system and finished my level when I reached my hand to the wall and was overcome with that feeling. The realization of my blunder making that one moment of absoluteness in my life. Absolute panic. My hand met with the cardboard cylinder of an empty toilet paper roll. I am lazy and forget to change them so I looked by the waste bin where I keep my reloads but I was out. In my race to get gold fish crackers, hot pockets, and soda I had forgotten to get a new pack of toilet paper. I was trapped on my toilet, the seat now had grown warm beneath me as I hid away my stinky curse on this world. |
||
